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Cast Your Vote:

    • It might help. -- Votes: 59
    • Nah, i don't think it'd help. -- Votes: 26
user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
1st May '13
Quoting KNZ.:" we've had like two nights total in our 4 years (4? maybe?) of being together (with a long separation ... [snip!] ... partner like ones in my past where we coexist well together, enjoy each other, etc. HA. so maybe THAT'S the real problem :P "


This may sound weird, but I read a whole article a few years back about couples, who co-parented and everything, and had very healthy relationships, but lived separate from each other. It seemed super odd to me now, but it seems like that type of thing could work for you, lol.
They were also married, though, if I remember correctly, which is part of why it seemed so odd.

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59191 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Captain Obvious:" we do it every few months. our men are tired of disney world :lol:"


:D
i would seriously love that.
i plan things that don't include him, haha, like going to the park on the weekend, to my parents for the day, etc- just to get my head above water especially on his 'long/friday off' weekends.

Lauralie89 3 kids; Pennsylvania 2244 posts
1st May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting tonys_mama(army wife):</b>" I know you said this doesn't apply to militray couples but I'm going to give you my opinion anyway lol. ... [snip!] ... be without the other. I think it's good to spend some time apart sometimes so you can cherish the time that you are together."</blockquote>



This. My SO was a OTR driver for a long time. The week or weeks he would be gone made us cherish each other more. Now that he's on workmans comp it drives me nuts sometimes that he's always here lol

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59191 posts
1st May '13
Quoting drunk mayhem.:" This may sound weird, but I read a whole article a few years back about couples, who co-parented and ... [snip!] ... thing could work for you, lol. They were also married, though, if I remember correctly, which is part of why it seemed so odd."


i could TOTALLY do that. oh god. i would LOVE that. i miss my old house so bad haha and having the control to just paint an accent wall on a whim, etc.
we don't even sleep in the same bed, haha.
we have a three story house, we should each just claim a floor. :D

Vivian [♥] 2 kids; Balls Deep, in, Georgia 13908 posts
1st May '13

I will say, DH and I lived on and off apart for a year. He was going to college in MI and I moved back to TX to work. He couldn't leave school and had a year left. He came down every break he got, for a few weeks or a month, until he graduated. At first it was nice having him there, then I started to get annoyed and missed it just being DD and I and I couldn't wait for him to go back to MI :lol:
Now we are with each other 24/7, seriously, he works from home and I'm still not back at work. If he goes to the store for like 20 minutes I miss him now lol

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
1st May '13
Quoting KNZ.:" i could TOTALLY do that. oh god. i would LOVE that. i miss my old house so bad haha and having the ... [snip!] ... a whim, etc. we don't even sleep in the same bed, haha. we have a three story house, we should each just claim a floor. :D "


Do it! Do like, a test run, even! DH and I slept separately for the LONGEST time. Even now I find myself coming to sleep on the couch some nights :lol: And like I said, I'm co-dependent, I LOVE being with him. But I still really like to get the hell away from him sometimes haha

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59191 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Vivian [♥]:" It won't fix the issues. You might miss the good qualities in each other. But a couple days being back ... [snip!] ... no kids. Time to actually work on the issues instead of ignoring them and hoping they will go away after a few days apart."


i'd lose my mind on a weekend together, ha.
i think we'd need more than that to fix our issues. counseling 'n such. but i want to miss him again, even just the good stuff. and work out the knots in our real life together.
especially since i'm in this for the long haul.

tonys_mama(army wife) 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Fort Irwin, California 15522 posts
1st May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting KNZ.:</b>" that would be perfect for us, ha. i feel bad saying it cos i know how hard military wives have it- ... [snip!] ... & parent better on my own but at the same time, understand the importance of relationships & having their father. "</blockquote>



It works great for us. It's not all that hard after getting use to it.

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59191 posts
1st May '13
Quoting drunk mayhem.:" Do it! Do like, a test run, even! DH and I slept separately for the LONGEST time. Even now I find myself ... [snip!] ... And like I said, I'm co-dependent, I LOVE being with him. But I still really like to get the hell away from him sometimes haha"


hahha exactly :D
there's no way in hell he'd agree to it though- he likes being around me- bleh. :P

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59191 posts
1st May '13
Quoting tonys_mama(army wife):" <blockquote><b>Quoting KNZ.:</b>" that would be perfect for us, ha. i feel bad saying ... [snip!] ... & having their father. "</blockquote> It works great for us. It's not all that hard after getting use to it."


I live in a navy town and my dude got out of the navy (he was a submariner) the year we met- so i always feel bad hearing about the women hear missing their husbands and thinking how it's an ideal situation for me :oops:

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
1st May '13
Quoting KNZ.:" hahha exactly :D there's no way in hell he'd agree to it though- he likes being around me- bleh. :P"


I will say, DH used to be like that. Super clingy and always wanting to like, be touching me. Holding hands and shit, even in the car. It drove me NUTS and I bitched and bitched and by the time he stopped doing it, I had turned into the clinger :lol: :oops: so be careful, haha

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59191 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Akeema:" Been there done that and all it did was make me angry and bitter because I had the kids and he got to ... [snip!] ... it would have been the same for him. I mean it would have worked if the kids weren't in the mix, but with them it made it hard."


oh i wouldn't even care what my dude did, ha.
he's an oldie who likes sitting, watching TV and gardening.
I'd love the time just with the kids.

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59191 posts
1st May '13
Quoting drunk mayhem.:" I will say, DH used to be like that. Super clingy and always wanting to like, be touching me. Holding ... [snip!] ... and I bitched and bitched and by the time he stopped doing it, I had turned into the clinger :lol: :oops: so be careful, haha"


ahah oh gosh. i used to be like that, all touchey/feeling/kissy/blah, then i met jason- who was that way, and i just- stopped, ha. i feel like the year of being at each other's throats (separated) and me just loving being single turned me this way!

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
1st May '13
Quoting KNZ.:" ahah oh gosh. i used to be like that, all touchey/feeling/kissy/blah, then i met jason- who was that ... [snip!] ... ha. i feel like the year of being at each other's throats (separated) and me just loving being single turned me this way! "


Sometimes I wish I could be that way. Even a liiiiittle bit now, haha.

KNZ. 3 kids; Washington 59191 posts
1st May '13
Quoting Brink:" This why I love my work schedule vs his. We work overlapping shifts and only see each other more then ... [snip!] ... for the year a few weeks ago and has been using it and he's driving me crazy lol it's too much time. I like how it normally is."



see i think that's part of it. i went from being single, just me 'n the kids, having school, a life, etc- to getting back together with him- becoming a SAHM, adding another kid to the mix- and just yeah. I don't feel like i lost my identity but i definitely lost a part of it- and i just want to know that the choices i made were worth it.



so he has his work life/hockey life away from the house & kids & me, and my life is the kids (which i am happy about) and...my hobbies? haha.
i feel like we just need a change of scenery. thank god it's becoming adventure-time weather.