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Do you think it's wrong? Transgender question. HighHeels Due September 21; 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 23443 posts
2nd May '13

Do you think it's wrong that a transgender won't tell the person that they've been seeing,but no sex,that they're transgender? Yes/no,why? I mean,I understand that if they wait till they trust the other person to tell him/her,but keeping it from them??

Brittany Riot 2 kids; Campbellsville, Kentucky 2089 posts
2nd May '13

I'd be up front about it, that way you don't develop a relationship first, and take a chance on the other person being a douche and leaving. Also, you want to be completely honest from the beginning, that way the person cares about YOU, not what they think you are.

susanesque 2 kids; Georgia 8400 posts
2nd May '13

Yes. If you're going to get into a relationship you should be up front about that sort of thing, IMO.

Sarah ♥ K&K 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Oceanside, CA, United States 112512 posts
status 2nd May '13

Yes, I see it as lying. Which is wrong

homes cool 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 60900 posts
status 2nd May '13
Quoting ⚓ Sarah ⚓:" Yes, I see it as lying. Which is wrong"

Ditto.

TheyCallMeMOMMY♥ 3 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 6801 posts
2nd May '13

Definatly, its a lie. And no one should ever have to ask if your a male/female so they cant be like "well you didnt ask"

Princess Celestia +1 1 child; Tallahassee, Florida 3635 posts
2nd May '13

Yep.



I wouldn't care about being with a transgender (MTF or FTM), but if they didn't even bother to tell me in the beginning and I took their pants off to get a surprise, I'd be furious.

I'm His Amy He's My Rory 2 kids; Caldwell, Idaho 49251 posts
2nd May '13

Yeah that's pretty crappy. I mean especially if the anatomy is part of the transgender identification, if that makes sense. I mean I can't think of many guys that would fall for a girl, then be okay if they found out months down the road she has a p***s, or vice versa. If there's feelings there it needs to be discussed to make sure all parties are okay with it.

Naturally Alternative 34 kids; 2 angel babies; Lafayette, Louisiana 5640 posts
2nd May '13

I suppose I'm weird but... do you tell people EVERYTHING at first? Everyone has "secrets"... they shouldn't have to tell EVERYONE right off the bat if they don't want to.



I guess it depends on if you mean pre- or post OP... I can see the issue of pre, but not post.

jsi_ Virginia Beach, Virginia 2817 posts
2nd May '13

Some people don't want to date trans, or maybe just dont believe in it or accept it....so waiting kind of makes it worse. If I were trans I'd rather say it now than later and endup hurting myself and that person if it turns out bad.

HighHeels Due September 21; 1 child; Boston, Massachusetts 23443 posts
2nd May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Naturally Alternative~27w:</b>" I suppose I'm weird but... do you tell people EVERYTHING at first? Everyone has "secrets"... they shouldn't ... [snip!] ... the bat if they don't want to. I guess it depends on if you mean pre- or post OP... I can see the issue of pre, but not post."</blockquote>




Before they have surgery. Not everything,but common general things,like if you have kids,married but separated,things like that that they would eventually find out. Other than that,I understand if they don't want to mention more personal stuff.

Sugarhiccup LLC 5 kids; Lahaina, Hawaii 2825 posts
2nd May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting TheyCallMeMOMMY♥:</b>" Definatly, its a lie. And no one should ever have to ask if your a male/female so they cant be like "well you didnt ask""</blockquote>




:!:

* Rob's Living Dead Girl Due February 15; Royersford, Pennsylvania 2959 posts
status 2nd May '13
Quoting Mrs.R =):" Do you think it's wrong that a transgender won't tell the person that they've been seeing,but no sex,that ... [snip!] ... Yes/no,why? I mean,I understand that if they wait till they trust the other person to tell him/her,but keeping it from them??"


I understand waiting to see if the person's trustworthy as well, or if they're ready to reveal it to their partner.
But planning to not tell them or not having considered telling them well into the relationship is, I feel, a bad move and unfair.

M walls 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7267 posts
3rd May '13

I think it depends, if it's casual dating or a first date i wouldn't say anything, but after 3 or 4 dates i would bring it up. but there would have to be no sexual contact beforehand

nothingness Arizona 3578 posts
3rd May '13

Extremely wrong, people who are heterosexual obviously date the opposite sex, so if you're just posing as the opposite sex they need to know. Before any dating. Something like that could cause serious damage to a person from just feeling betrayed to ruining a reputation under other circumstances. I wouldn't want to go out with someone thinking one thing and they are another.