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Which would you choose. Doctors ??? ......................... Oregon 14226 posts
3rd May '13

So my son's counseling place has put me in a predicament.



They scheduled him for two appts next Tuesday. One at 1 pm, and one at 4 pm.



I can't go to both, and keep him sane. He'll lose it. But one is for medication, and one is for counseling.



His teacher really wants him counseling, but we also need to continue his meds. The first appt is in Vancouver, 30 minutes away. He doesn't want to change his routine and miss school, lunch or recess. Last time resulted in a knock down drag out fight where we had to almost drag him out of the school. The other option is to tell him there's no school, but if he sees the buses, that could get us into trouble too.



He's going to be 7 next month.



It's been nothing but ongoing problems, and having to cart around two other kids with my oldest who are 3 and 1, this is never going to happen, they nap between 12 and 4.



I've already contacted the supervisor to ask what we can do and she said go to both appts, which obviously is not an option.



Last time we had to cancel the company refused to let us reschedule. I'm pretty sure that will happen again



I've called his counselor who isn't calling me back at all.



His counselor, I actually like, but I don't think she knows everything she needs to know. She also wants to get him an official autism referral but doesn't know how to work with the insurance to get us out the door to do it.



So I'm lost. If I have to wait until Monday to make the decision and no one is willing to talk to me about options. I really just want to get the med referral and drop the counseling and go to someone else, but I don't think his insurance will allow that.



I'm lost as what to do. I obviously need the medication. I can't do both. And I can't believe that I have to "play" their game and put my kids in an upheaval because they're not willing to work with me and see if there's any other options.



ETA: the next med appt is in July, and they'll refuse to reschedule the counseling appt, so we will have to wait another 2 weeks, putting it 4 weeks between appts.

mmmc15 4 kids; 2 angel babies; Wyoming 708 posts
3rd May '13

I would go to the med appointment. Counseling is important but I guessing that not having the proper meds will make functioning difficult.

Buzz and Almond Joys momm 2 kids; Albuquerque, New Mexico 12593 posts
3rd May '13

Meds. No question about it.

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
3rd May '13

Obviously the meds are the post important. But I'm kind of stuck where I have to chose. and I don't want to chose. We liked the idea of this company because they were willing to handle everything, his counseling and his meds.



And they've told me that they won't let us do one or the other, we can't just do meds and not do counseling.



I just got off the phone with his insurance. They advised me to basically "take the prescription and run", unfortunately it sucks because my son really likes this counselor but the company that she works for isn't working for us.

Ivana, VBA2C success! 3 kids; Aurora, Colorado 6834 posts
3rd May '13

I don't have any special needs kids, but I would just deal with the fucked up day and get both appointments out of the way, especially since you have to do both anyway. Can you get a sitter for the younger two?? And just drag the older one along?

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
3rd May '13
Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" I don't have any special needs kids, but I would just deal with the fucked up day and get both appointments ... [snip!] ... way, especially since you have to do both anyway. Can you get a sitter for the younger two?? And just drag the older one along?"


If it was that easy. I would totally do it.



but with him, you can't change his routine. He has behavioral issues on top of having autism, so if we make him miss something, he will become violent. Last time we had to remove him during the middle of the day, he attacked a teacher and had to be dragged out of school and we were late to the appt.



Then the next time he started getting agitated because I wasn't taking him back in time for math.



That could happen again.



And then his counseling appt used to be on Mondays at 5pm which was good and we had a sitter lined up for every counseling appt. Then that counselor quit and changed our time without telling us at all. We didn't find out until like 3 days before. He changed our appts to Tuesday at 4, and that leaves us without a sitter.



Normally DH would work from home, but his grandpa died last week and because he works for a small business he doesn't get FMLA and is out of vacation and sick days for the year, if he stays home we don't get to have him come with us to see my mother for vacation this summer. :(

Ivana, VBA2C success! 3 kids; Aurora, Colorado 6834 posts
3rd May '13
Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" If it was that easy. I would totally do it. but with him, you can't change his routine. He has behavioral ... [snip!] ... sick days for the year, if he stays home we don't get to have him come with us to see my mother for vacation this summer. :("


oh man that is a tough situation. I really hope you do figure it out.

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
3rd May '13
Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" oh man that is a tough situation. I really hope you do figure it out. "


If they were willing to reschedule it would be so much easier. Obviously reschedule the counseling appt and then do the meds, but they won't work with me at all!

mmmc15 4 kids; 2 angel babies; Wyoming 708 posts
3rd May '13
Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:" Obviously the meds are the post important. But I'm kind of stuck where I have to chose. and I don't want ... [snip!] ... unfortunately it sucks because my son really likes this counselor but the company that she works for isn't working for us."


Oh I see the problem. Didn't get that in the OP. That is a tough spot to be in. Sounds to me like this company isn't all that great if they are not willing to work with you. They should understand that your son can handle a day like that. I am an OT and I work with kids with Autism and I would rather have a kid that is not totally wiped out from other appointments for a treatment session.

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
3rd May '13

And the head of the department told me basically to suck it up and go to both. I can't. I can't do that to him and I won't do it to my other kids.



They still are not willing to reschedule the counseling appt. which is all I want. But they won't even consider it. I've called to reschedule several times. They don't call me back!



I mean can you imagine??? An autistic child with behavioral problems. His whole routine uprooted and two toddlers who just want a nap? I might as well commit myself!!!!

mmmc15 4 kids; 2 angel babies; Wyoming 708 posts
4th May '13

WTH I would be pissed. What kind of facility is it?

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting mmmc15:</b>" WTH I would be pissed. What kind of facility is it?"</blockquote>




It's supposed to be a mental health facility that does counseling for children and also handle their medication.



I'm super pissed. She still hasn't called me back to reschedule. Which means if I cancel on Tuesday because of this I won't get to reschedule at all. And if I don't hear back from her by noon I'll have to call them and tell them I'm done.

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
4th May '13

So I'm pretty sure I made my decision for anyone interested.



This counselor wants us to go for official autism testing. This referral has to be done by his primary care. Once it's in it will take a few weeks to approve and then 6-8 till the appt.



So it would terribly stupid for us to bail on this counselor since it will be 6-8 weeks till we get in and they say that once he gets the official diagnosis that he will be referred to counselors that specialize in kids with autism. So see, we have to stay.



Failure on their part to refuse to let me reschedule sucks but ill asked to be moved down from every other week to once a month. Since that's when we are seeing her right now. This keeps us on track to keep getting the meds filled. It doesn't help my son at all as far as counseling goes but at least it buys time till we can get that official diagnosis and get to a therapist designed to actually help him. And of course a better company.

mmmc15 4 kids; 2 angel babies; Wyoming 708 posts
5th May '13

I'm glad that you got it all figured out. It does suck that they won't work with you but getting an actual diagnosis will definitely be better for your son. Good luck!!

......................... Oregon 14226 posts
5th May '13
Quoting mmmc15:" I'm glad that you got it all figured out. It does suck that they won't work with you but getting an actual diagnosis will definitely be better for your son. Good luck!!"


I get to start calling tomorrow. Not looking forward to it. But think the less stress we put on him until we can finally get things squared away will be great!