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How did you leave your SO? Mrs. P ♥ 2 kids; New York 1934 posts
3rd May '13

If you did leave, how did you do it? I'm talking about the women who struggled. How can you possibly leave a bad situation when your options are limited. No family to stay with, no job/income of your own (stay at home mom), No car, and to top it off 2 young children. What do you do?

......................... Vancouver, British Columbia 5643 posts
3rd May '13

If he's physically or emotionally abusive you can go to a women's shelter.

☆Tiffanyyy☆ 1 child; Ohio 387 posts
3rd May '13

My family and I are from ohio, and I met my baby's father here while he was working, and we ended up moving back to Florida where his family was. Him and his family were the only people I knew there. And I was away from my family. He was perfect here, treated me great, and once we got to Florida he would get mad & hit me, and I found out I was pregnant, and didn't know what to do. I was scared & he wouldn't let me have a job so I didn't have any money. My parents couldn't afford to come get me, or send me money. Thank god his mother helped me out a little bit but I had to leave in the middle of the night while he was sleeping, and drove 27 hours straight, crying the whole way home. It was horrible. I'm glad i left him, I have a wonderful soon to be 4 month old, and it's so hard being a single mother of one, ( let alone 2) but you can do it ! Goodluck with everything <33

Mrs. P ♥ 2 kids; New York 1934 posts
3rd May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nathaniel'sMom:</b>" If he's physically or emotionally abusive you can go to a women's shelter."</blockquote>



He's not physically abusive. Emotionally, I'd say yes. For sure. And how do I get to a woman's shelter? We have one vehicle, and it's in his fathers name. And I think I live a good ways away from a shelter. No bus routes. When I get to a shelter what do i do, with two kids? Do we sleep on a small mattress in a room full of other women and children? What do i do after I get to a shelter? Idk. This is hard. Feels hopeless.

☆Tiffanyyy☆ 1 child; Ohio 387 posts
3rd May '13

Can you get assistance? From the state? Government?
Atleast until you can get away and figure things out?

Mrs. P ♥ 2 kids; New York 1934 posts
3rd May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☆Tiffanyyy☆:</b>" Can you get assistance? From the state? Government? Atleast until you can get away and figure things out?"</blockquote>



I don't know. I know we have something around here called HUD, but there's a super long waiting list. I think if you technically homeless you can get bumped up on the list, but you have to be literally homeless. I think. I suppose I should look into that. I just don't know what to do. I'm So sad with how my life is turning out. I love my girls so much, but I'm starting to really dispise their father for how he treats me constantly. There's just no respect.

......................... Vancouver, British Columbia 5643 posts
3rd May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. P ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Nathaniel'sMom:</b>" If he's physically or emotionally abusive ... [snip!] ... mattress in a room full of other women and children? What do i do after I get to a shelter? Idk. This is hard. Feels hopeless."</blockquote>




My mom brought us kids(3) to a women's shelter we had our own room to share and they helped her get back on her feet. My step mom went to a women's shelter before she met my dad. She has two kids and they gave her a house to live in and helped her find a job and she was allowed to live there for a year. Google your city and women's shelter. Something should pop up. Call them tomorrow or when your SO is at work and tell them your situation, they may be able to come and get you.

Mrs. P ♥ 2 kids; New York 1934 posts
3rd May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nathaniel'sMom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. P ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Nathaniel'sMom:</b>" ... [snip!] ... pop up. Call them tomorrow or when your SO is at work and tell them your situation, they may be able to come and get you."</blockquote>



This is great advice. Thank you. I've always pictured a shelter being a huge building with just beds lined up for women and their kids. I figured I'd be better off sticking it out for a while than subjecting my kids to that.

......................... Vancouver, British Columbia 5643 posts
3rd May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. P ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Nathaniel'sMom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mrs. ... [snip!] ... lined up for women and their kids. I figured I'd be better off sticking it out for a while than subjecting my kids to that."</blockquote>



Some are some aren't. It all depends. I hope you get the nicer ones though. Also make sure you mention the emotional abuse.

♥TwinsRock♥ 2 kids; Buffalo, New York 4471 posts
4th May '13

We're from the same area and I know a lot of people who got income based housing HOWEVER there is a 6 month wait in Erie county and Niagara county is not even accepting applications at this point. Get your name on the list NOW. There are places in Buffalo (although they are in awful neighborhoods), Orchard Park (very nice) and Alden (also nice). I know it seems like you have nowhere to turn and you are stuck in this situation, but please, if it's bad, get out. It is not good for your kids. I have no clue about the women's shelters in Buffalo but it's better then being on the streets and it's better then being around someone who is treating you awfully. Remember, it's not permanent. Just until you get on your feet. Things will get better. Hang in there.

Mrs. P ♥ 2 kids; New York 1934 posts
5th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥TwinsRock25♥:</b>" We're from the same area and I know a lot of people who got income based housing HOWEVER there is a 6 ... [snip!] ... is treating you awfully. Remember, it's not permanent. Just until you get on your feet. Things will get better. Hang in there."</blockquote>




Thanks hun. I'm in Erie County. Buffalo area. I think I'll look into HUD on Monday, but I looked into it a few years back....when i was thinking about leaving (stupid, stupid me) and I know it's difficult to get on the list.