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3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
4th May '13

Have you talked to him about outside stressors? I personally tend to drink when life feels overwhelming or I am stressed. I'm not an alcholic but i have periods of time where I drink a lot though I DO recognize that it could develop into a depantancy. Talk to him about it and I mean talk, don't go out guns blazing bitching and accusing him of alcoholism. Drinking every night isn't alcoholism until you are depantant on alcohol to function but it IS a warning sign.

Mandy Schlatterer Due March 27 (girl); 2 kids; New Port Richey, Florida 1359 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Now and Forever:" I don't think he's an alcoholic. Alcoholics don't start drinking from night to morning. Something triggered him to start drinking. OP you need to figure out, what that something is. "


Honestly, I think that "something" is me...
But I hate to admit that..
I myself have had a good deal of alcohol tonight, which is the only reason I'm talking about this openly..
We're just in the middle of so many issues and I need someone to talk to...

Cakes. 1 child; Michigan 2570 posts
status 4th May '13

If this is a new thing, maybe he's depressed or really stressed about something. Have there been any changes with your family (besides his drinking)? I would just sit down with him and really talk to him. Tell him your concerns and ask him if anything's up. There may be something that's happening with him that he doesn't feel comfortable talking to you about, as a lot of men don't like talking about their problems/feelings with anybody, just assure him that you are there to listen and to help him through anything that may be bothering him, and keep an open dialogue. But tell him that you're not going to stand him drinking and lying to you every night, let him know it's not healthy for anybody in the family for him to be drunk every night. Best of luck, hope you and your husband can work things out.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" You'd prefer him out on the streets, ... [snip!] ... if they're not in the confines of their own home they are "probably putting themself and others in danger" as a problem....?"


She said, he comes home & drinks. She didn't say he comes home, leaves, drinks then comes home.

JΔS Georgia 72581 posts
status 4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" I don't think he's an alcoholic. Alcoholics don't start drinking from night to morning. Something triggered him to start drinking. OP you need to figure out, what that something is. "</blockquote>




Anything can trigger alcoholism, it is what it is. If you become dependent on something, you are an addict. If he can't come home and not take shots and drinks, he's an alchy.



My husband has a high stress job and will have drinks with his buddies occasionally or come home and have a few beers. Normal. Slamming 15 shots a day? Not normal.

Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8039 posts
4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" She said, he comes home & drinks. She didn't say he comes home, leaves, drinks then comes home. "</blockquote>




I was referring to your post where you stated that unless he's beating her or spending all their money then you don't see anything wrong with it.

JΔS Georgia 72581 posts
status 4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:</b>" Honestly, I think that "something" is me... But I hate to admit that.. I myself have had a good deal ... [snip!] ... is the only reason I'm talking about this openly.. We're just in the middle of so many issues and I need someone to talk to..."</blockquote>



So if he's drinking and your drinking, who's parenting?

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" That's 100% false. A lot of alcoholics are functioning alcoholics... meaning they can hold down a job and a family life, but are still dependent on and abuse alcohol."


How can you say my opinion is false? Lmao.



Yes but he hasn't been drinking this whole time. She said, LATELY he's been drinking every day. That means, he JUST started.

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3279 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Now and Forever:" How can you say my opinion is false? Lmao. Yes but he hasn't been drinking this whole time. She said, LATELY he's been drinking every day. That means, he JUST started. "


I'm sorry, I misread your post... I thought it said "Alcoholics don't STOP drinking from night to morning" and that's the statement I was referring to as completely false.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" I don't think he's an alcoholic. Alcoholics ... [snip!] ... will have drinks with his buddies occasionally or come home and have a few beers. Normal. Slamming 15 shots a day? Not normal."


Okay, but I'm not just saying something at work triggered it. Maybe something much more worse than work is bothering him. I don't think she should jump into "he's an alcoholic" because he started drinking heavily. She should try to find out what the cause of his drinking is because he gives him that label.

Mandy Schlatterer Due March 27 (girl); 2 kids; New Port Richey, Florida 1359 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:</b>" Honestly, I think that "something" ... [snip!] ... so many issues and I need someone to talk to..."</blockquote> So if he's drinking and your drinking, who's parenting?"


Well my son is still awake and I just two seconds ago got back from laying in bed with him and telling him the 100th storey of the night, he wont' go to sleep, because every time I try to put him in bed at night, my husband gets him out, brings him in our room, and says he wants him to sleep with us, then I try to put him back to bed...



I know that is 100% disfunctional, but I can't do anything about what he does...he's not doing it in bad intentions..but he does it...



And my son is in the room five feet from where I am, still awake.
i'm functional enough to parent, but he should be sleeping...



I'm not looking for judgement, I'm just looking for advice :(

Kimmy Gibbler 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8039 posts
4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:</b>" Honestly, I think that "something" is me... But I hate to admit that.. I myself have had a good deal ... [snip!] ... is the only reason I'm talking about this openly.. We're just in the middle of so many issues and I need someone to talk to..."</blockquote>




If you think your husband is an alcoholic, the worst thing you can do for him is drink yourself. Not only does it trigger him to drink, but he will use it against you. As in, "I have a problem?! You got drunk just the other night!!"



ETA: I'm not saying that in judgement, btw, but out if experience in living with an addict.

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:</b>" Honestly, I think that "something" is me... But I hate to admit that.. I myself have had a good deal ... [snip!] ... is the only reason I'm talking about this openly.. We're just in the middle of so many issues and I need someone to talk to..."</blockquote>



Okay... You can't come here drunk, claiming your so is an alcoholic and expect to be taken seriously. Who is even in charge? Are all supervising adults drunk?

JΔS Georgia 72581 posts
status 4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" Okay, but I'm not just saying something at work triggered it. Maybe something much more worse than work ... [snip!] ... he started drinking heavily. She should try to find out what the cause of his drinking is because he gives him that label. "</blockquote>



I can agree with that but telling her that there's nothing she can do isn't the right way to go about it either. Sure, she can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do but she can control her actions which can, in result, help him.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" She said, he comes home & drinks. ... [snip!] ... your post where you stated that unless he's beating her or spending all their money then you don't see anything wrong with it."


Based on what she's describing. I'm assuming he drinks at night, goes to work, comes home & drinks some more. My husband can take 15 shots and have no effect on him. I can take two and get totally wasted. So no, I don't see anything wrong with him coming home & drinking. If he is to the point where he is passing out, barely waking up the next morning to go to work, beating her or not having money because he's spending it all on alcohol then yes, there is something wrong.



Like I said, people don't start drinking heavily from one day to another. If it is unusual of him to drink that much then she should try and see what's causing him to do so.