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JΔ$ Georgia 78724 posts
4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:</b>" Well my son is still awake and I just two seconds ago got back from laying in bed with him and telling ... [snip!] ... i'm functional enough to parent, but he should be sleeping... I'm not looking for judgement, I'm just looking for advice :("</blockquote>



I'm not judging you but come on. You're upset about your husband's drinking, and rightfully so, but you come on here a little intoxicated yourself. You shouldn't be drinking if he is having an issue with alcohol. That may make things worse.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:" Honestly, I think that "something" is me... But I hate to admit that.. I myself have had a good deal ... [snip!] ... is the only reason I'm talking about this openly.. We're just in the middle of so many issues and I need someone to talk to..."


Well, I don't think you should blame yourself. However, if you truly believe you are the reason, I think the best thing to do is try and figure out what you're doing that's causing him to drink so much and try to change it. If not, try suggesting marriage, couple's counselling.

Mandy Schlatterer Due March 27 (girl); 2 kids; New Port Richey, Florida 1791 posts
4th May '13
Quoting 3 little monsters:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:</b>" Honestly, I think that "something" ... [snip!] ... claiming your so is an alcoholic and expect to be taken seriously. Who is even in charge? Are all supervising adults drunk?"


I'm not drunk.

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" Okay, but I'm not just saying something ... [snip!] ... Sure, she can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do but she can control her actions which can, in result, help him."</blockquote>



I'm getting the impression that drinking isn't uncommon in their household and I don't mean a couple drinks here and there. I think she probably drinks fairly regularly herself and really isn't in a position to call him out on his drinking. Maybe an unfair judgment call but how are you going to admit to making a drunk post calling your SO out as an alcholic while admitting there isn't a sober adult attending to children who are still awake? REALLY?

Christan_89 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8043 posts
4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" Based on what she's describing. I'm assuming he drinks at night, goes to work, comes home & drinks ... [snip!] ... from one day to another. If it is unusual of him to drink that much then she should try and see what's causing him to do so. "</blockquote>



What all do you know about addiction? It's a horrible misconception that a person can't become an alcoholic/addict in a matter of months. If they are already predisposed to addiction, they can. The other thing is that people don't usually pick up on addictive behavior until its been going on for quite some time and the addict starts losing control. Maybe it was easily hidden before, maybe it's gotten so bad now that he has to have a drink, or 15, every night. Lying about it obviously indicated a problem. My husband has takes no issue in telling me what's in his drink.... Because he knows its not a problem.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Jas ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" Okay, but I'm not just saying something ... [snip!] ... Sure, she can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do but she can control her actions which can, in result, help him."


True. Wasn't really thinking of that at the moment.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Asher and Haddie's Mommy:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Now and Forever:</b>" Based on what she's describing. I'm assuming ... [snip!] ... indicated a problem. My husband has takes no issue in telling me what's in his drink.... Because he knows its not a problem."


What do I know about addiction? :roll:
Uhm, lets see. My dad has been an alcoholic for what? Almost my whole life now!!



We all assume differently, by her being so surprised, and using the term LATELY I'm assuming, it hasn't been MONTHS but maybe a few days, a week.

Mandy Schlatterer Due March 27 (girl); 2 kids; New Port Richey, Florida 1791 posts
4th May '13

By lately I mean the past month.
And I'm still coherent and able to care for my kids.
he's not.

JΔ$ Georgia 78724 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Mandy Schlatterer:" By lately I mean the past month. And I'm still coherent and able to care for my kids. he's not."


You are both under the influence, stop making excuses. Two parents in the house, neither of them sober and there's a child awake. Not responsible, no matter how many ways you try to flip it.

I Stab People 3 kids; Zambia 6604 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Jas ♥:" You are both under the influence, stop making excuses. Two parents in the house, neither of them sober and there's a child awake. Not responsible, no matter how many ways you try to flip it."



oh stfu and get off your high horse.

there was a point in time very recently when i could not wait to put the kids to bed so i could drink. and im a recently single mom so it was just me. and id drink a whole bottle of wine. a night. yes a whole bottle, sometiems the BIG whole bottles. and i was still functioning enough to care for my kids, change my sons diaper in the middle of the night, make him a bottle, etc. people handle stress differently. is it the BEST way? of course not, but its hardly child abuse. shes online and typing legibly. its not like shes smashed.

JΔ$ Georgia 78724 posts
4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting I Stab People:</b>" oh stfu and get off your high horse. there was a point in time very recently when i could not ... [snip!] ... is it the BEST way? of course not, but its hardly child abuse. shes online and typing legibly. its not like shes smashed."</blockquote>
I'm on a high horse because I don't drink to the point that I can't think or speak correctly in front of my children? Well ok, I'll glady accept that.



Who said it was child abuse? LMAO. I said it was irresponsible which it is.

I Stab People 3 kids; Zambia 6604 posts
4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting I Stab People:</b>" oh stfu and get off your high horse. ... [snip!] ... of my children? Well ok, I'll glady accept that. Who said it was child abuse? LMAO. I said it was irresponsible which it is."</blockquote>




She is obviously capable of proper speech I don't see a mess of typos in her posts

JΔ$ Georgia 78724 posts
4th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting I Stab People:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting I Stab ... [snip!] ... which it is."</blockquote> She is obviously capable of proper speech I don't see a mess of typos in her posts"</blockquote>




She mentioned that she had a good deal of alcohol which is why she was capable of speaking about this. When I have a lot of alcohol, I can run my mouth and become the most loving person. It doesn't take away from the fact that I am drunk and I don't need to be drunk around my children, regardless of how I function.

mamiKrystal 4 kids; Bay Area, CA, United States 858 posts
5th May '13

I was actually thinking about posting about this myself, and saw this one already. I'm having the same issue, except for the fact that I do not drink. What the main post said though applies to me as well: my husband provides for us...but he drinks and lately been drinking more. Like I said, I do not drink, and I don't like him setting that kind of example around our kids. I've started telling him he will sleep on the couch when he's been drinking. I don't really think that will make him stop...



what would you do?

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
5th May '13

I feel for you, I really do.



He needs to seek help for himself and you need to get him to do it. I wouldn't recommend it but I gave my husband an ultimatum: Booze or me and the kids. I wasn't going to raise my children with an alcoholic father.



Once he gets help (and NOT says. Saying is different than doing), dump every form of drinkable alcohol in the house. Mouthwash needs to be alcoholic free. Hand sanitizer needs to go or be alcohol free. Dump out any wine, beer, spirits etc. Make your house into a dry house. NO alcohol will be allowed on your property.



And it sounds like he's self medicating. If he's stressed, he's probably dealing with anxiety and self medicating for it. I'd also maybe nudge him into seeing a therapist to talk about why he drinks and what he can do to replace alcohol with something healthier and more productive for him.