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How easy is it to.. pinback 1 child; Wisconsin 855 posts
4th May '13

Get joint custody? If my husband filed a petition for joint custody, would it be granted to him fairly easily or no? He's on the birth certificate, pays child support, and WANTS to have joint custody. As of now he's not allowed to see his daughter (this is for his daughter with someone else, btw). TIA.

Robert Downey Jr. Zanzibar, Tanzania 16079 posts
4th May '13

It depends on the circumstances and why he isn't allowed to see the child.



Most places anymore will grant joint custody guaranteed unless there are extenuating circumstances.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
4th May '13

Depends. On where you live and both parents' situations.



Joint physical custody may be tricky if a schedule has been established, they generally like to keep the "norm" for kids, so if, for instance, he has visitation every other weekend and that's been the status quo, they may keep it like that. ESPECIALLY if he's not allowed to see his child for some reason right now, that's going to make it hard. Especially if it was by his or the court's choice that he cannot.



As for legal custody, it depends.

☮[The Mrs.] FJB Due December 4; 3 kids; North Carolina 14335 posts
4th May '13

He he abusive, drunk, a drug addict? Also it may depend on why he can't see his other kid.



If the answer to the above questions is no and he isn't a complete loon then it's very likely.

K.J♥ Due November 4; 2 kids; Russellville, Kentucky 430 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Carley Weaver:" Get joint custody? If my husband filed a petition for joint custody, would it be granted to him fairly ... [snip!] ... to have joint custody. As of now he's not allowed to see his daughter (this is for his daughter with someone else, btw). TIA."


unless there is a very good reason on him not seeing her then it will probably be pretty easy to get joint.



pinback 1 child; Wisconsin 855 posts
4th May '13

He does not do drugs, does not drink (very often, once in a blue moon), and is even a non-smoker, haha ;). Hes not crazy, although he has the ability to drive me crazy. He has had held the same job for 6 years and is an EXCELLENT father to our son. He'd like to be to his daughter, as well, but is not allowed to see her. Long story short: it was a one night stand, the mother is not raising the daughter, her parents are, but she is still legal guardian and calls the shots. The grandparents can and will lie for their daughter, even though they have said themselves their daughter is a fuck up. She is unemployed, has never paid for anything for her daughter, etc etc...(although that stuff never holds up and doesn't matter anyway). We live about 5 hours or so away from the grandparents, who she lives with. The mother lives in Chicago.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Carley Weaver:" He does not do drugs, does not drink (very often, once in a blue moon), and is even a non-smoker, haha ... [snip!] ... matter anyway). We live about 5 hours or so away from the grandparents, who she lives with. The mother lives in Chicago."


How long has it been since he has seen her?



The paying-for stuff, you're right, will not matter.



And the distance will definitely make it harder... and if he's waited a long time to file, it's not going to reflect well on him. If he wanted joint custody, he should have filed the second someone told him he wasn't allowed to see her.

pinback 1 child; Wisconsin 855 posts
4th May '13

I guess a big question is..if he were to drive to the county and file this and get everything in line, would this be a easy process meaning would we need to hire a lawyer and have that prepared or is it something he'd pretty much have in the bag? We're not opposed to hiring a lawyer, it's just I feel he has the same rights and he's been scared and hesitant to exercise them.

pinback 1 child; Wisconsin 855 posts
4th May '13
Quoting The Doctor:" How long has it been since he has seen her? The paying-for stuff, you're right, will not matter. ... [snip!] ... reflect well on him. If he wanted joint custody, he should have filed the second someone told him he wasn't allowed to see her."


It's been almost a year. And I agree, he should have. We've had this argument many times, and I can't really justify his reasoning. I think it boils down to the amount of time he's gotten shut down from that side of the family and he became very depressed, angry, and distant about it.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Carley Weaver:" It's been almost a year. And I agree, he should have. We've had this argument many times, and I can't ... [snip!] ... amount of time he's gotten shut down from that side of the family and he became very depressed, angry, and distant about it. "


That's understandable, but it is going to make it difficult. I would recommend hiring a lawyer, and from this point on, writing everything down. Make sure he is calling them and asking to see the child, etc. Records are important. Emails and texts are also a good way to document what is said between the two parties.

LA REINA™ New York, NY, United States 16316 posts
4th May '13

I'm from Chicago and I know cook county judges are very pro mom but I don't see why they would deny your husband, especially if he has a good lawyer.

pinback 1 child; Wisconsin 855 posts
4th May '13
Quoting The Doctor:" That's understandable, but it is going to make it difficult. I would recommend hiring a lawyer, and ... [snip!] ... the child, etc. Records are important. Emails and texts are also a good way to document what is said between the two parties."


Yeah, I figured--I've been doing this! Thanks for your input, appreciated :)

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
4th May '13
Quoting Carley Weaver:" Yeah, I figured--I've been doing this! Thanks for your input, appreciated :)"


Any time! Good luck.

☮[The Mrs.] FJB Due December 4; 3 kids; North Carolina 14335 posts
4th May '13

I'm read the OP wrong. I thought you and him were going through this with your child. IMO if the BM is not raising the child and he proactively wants to be in the child's life then I feel like he should have the child.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
4th May '13
Quoting ☮[The Mrs.]:" I'm read the OP wrong. I thought you and him were going through this with your child. IMO if the BM is ... [snip!] ... the BM is not raising the child and he proactively wants to be in the child's life then I feel like he should have the child. "


Unfortunately it's a lot trickier with the court system.