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Sock Lady 6 kids; 3 angel babies; Hell, ON, Canada 11727 posts
5th May '13

I agree that what the waitress said was uncalled for. However, I agree with what the other ladies have already said.



I have 5 kids. My oldest has ODD. He is extremely difficult to handle, and my 2 year old has speech delays...however, none of my kids behave like that out in public, and especially not in a restaurant. They know better, because I took the time to teach them how to behave in public.



I know how hard it is to deal with a child with behavioral issues, as well as delays, so I definitely understand what you're going through...but you can't be blaming everything on your son and everyone else. You have to take responsibility for your actions as well, and that includes lack of parenting. You have to take responsibility so that you can learn from your mistakes and become a better parent, and more effectively parent your child(I am speaking from personal experience).



Your child was obviously unruly enough that it caused other people and staff to take notice and complain about it. So obviously he misbehaved more than what you're saying.

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
5th May '13
Quoting Jessica & Kaleb:" im really not getting wat u guys dnt understand.... he was fine for the first 1/2hr like he sat and ... [snip!] ... guy left after he made a noise... and than he was still well behaved but playing with my friend he didnt act out til the end"


I'm not failing to understand anything. I understand the situation quite clearly as do the other women in the thread. The only one failing to comprehend anything is you.

user banned 2 kids; Bat Cave, North Carolina 64587 posts
5th May '13
Quoting Jessica & Kaleb:" its sounding like ur saying im a bad parent and thats something i do not tolerate cuz with a son who ... [snip!] ... parent and i do everything i have to for all his issues sry i said wat i said b4 buy u need to understand where im coming from"


I do understand. I HAVE a son with behavioral issues.
But if you've tried everything, how can you honestly say that the way you handled things at the restaurant was the right way? How can you not see that things could've been handled so much better by you?



It doesn't make sense to me. You won't acknowledge that you could've done things differently and you refuse to accept blame.

Jessica & Kaleb 1 child; 1 angel baby; Massachusetts 4840 posts
5th May '13
Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" No, I don't get what YOU don't understand. You were there for 2 hours and you're saying he was fine for ... [snip!] ... that when you sent him off to get his toy, you couldn't see him. How did you know what he was doing if you couldn't see him?"

i never said i couldnt see him, he was 1foot from me i was touching the table from where i was sitting, i said i couldnt see the people who made the comment about him hitting his head

Jessica & Kaleb 1 child; 1 angel baby; Massachusetts 4840 posts
5th May '13

he wasnt running crazy in the restaurant he was standing nxt to table... idk wat u guys are picturing but he wasnt screaming, he was talking a lil loud near the end and kept getting off his chair but never left the side of the table.... u guys who keep saying ur child never acted like that in public im not understanding what u guys are thinking about my child right now cuz imo he wasnt even that bad... bad enough where i felt it was time to leave but ive seen a lot worse

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
5th May '13
Quoting The Original Mayhem.:" I do understand. I HAVE a son with behavioral issues. But if you've tried everything, how can you honestly ... [snip!] ... It doesn't make sense to me. You won't acknowledge that you could've done things differently and you refuse to accept blame. "


Exactly! Nobody in this thread has said (that I saw) that their children have never acted up in public and they dropped the ball parenting. My son did far worse when he was about 18 months. I didn't blame him, I didn't blame the other customers. I sucked it up and placed blame where it was supposed to be, on myself. I learned from it and moved on.

flip off 2 kids; Forks, Washington 1490 posts
5th May '13

My youngest is 3 and autistic and he doesn't do any of that. He gets loud sometimes when we go out and the food takes too long but I have him strapped into a high chair so he doesn't get up and run. I also bring a toy I know he loves and he sits still. Children getting up and running around is annoying as shit in a restaurant. Besides that, more than one person said something to you so obviously he wasn't behaving well.



The waitress shouldn't have said that and I would have gotten a manager but still, your child was obviously misbehaving.

Jessica & Kaleb 1 child; 1 angel baby; Massachusetts 4840 posts
5th May '13
Quoting The Original Mayhem.:" I do understand. I HAVE a son with behavioral issues. But if you've tried everything, how can you honestly ... [snip!] ... It doesn't make sense to me. You won't acknowledge that you could've done things differently and you refuse to accept blame. "


theres no one to blaime imo its not my sons fault its not the customers failt its just the waitressed snotty comments



tell me wat i coulda done? because we dnt go to restaurants this was our first time in a year with him so we usually just avoid it, he used to be an angel until he turned 2 than we stopped going... and we left within minutes of him really acting up, woulda been sooner but i had to pay



i dnt see how i did anything wrong, i still dnt see an issue with him getting his toy as he was already standing up and only 1 foot away from it and there were no customers in our corner just us

Jessica & Kaleb 1 child; 1 angel baby; Massachusetts 4840 posts
5th May '13
Quoting 3 little monsters:" Exactly! Nobody in this thread has said (that I saw) that their children have never acted up in public ... [snip!] ... the other customers. I sucked it up and placed blame where it was supposed to be, on myself. I learned from it and moved on. "


i dnt think anyone shoulda been blamed.. that wasnt ur fault, its life children act up and its no ones fault

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
5th May '13
Quoting Jessica & Kaleb:" he wasnt running crazy in the restaurant he was standing nxt to table... idk wat u guys are picturing ... [snip!] ... my child right now cuz imo he wasnt even that bad... bad enough where i felt it was time to leave but ive seen a lot worse"


That's a terrible mentality to have. I'm smoke cigarettes but other people smoke crack so it's okay that I smoke cigs. See how ridiculous that sounds?

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
5th May '13
Quoting Jessica & Kaleb:" i dnt think anyone shoulda been blamed.. that wasnt ur fault, its life children act up and its no ones fault"


LOL okay, I give up. I just really hope I'm never trying to eat breakfast somewhere and you walk in.

A.V.N. 1 child; 402 posts
5th May '13

it doesn't sound to me like her child was being particularly ill-behaved... I mean she said he yelled once, then stopped. I wouldn't want to be in a restaurant with a screaming child....but one yell that was quickly shushed by their parent wouldn't bother me. Also, she said that when he went to retrieve the dropped toy it was under an empty table...so, who was that bothering? Idk, mabye I am just more relaxed about this sort of thing bc I've been around kids my whole life, but I don't think it sounds like her child was disrupting the restaurant.

мɑkɑnɑni ~*~, FL, United States 62979 posts
5th May '13
Quoting Jessica & Kaleb:" theres no one to blaime imo its not my sons fault its not the customers failt its just the waitressed ... [snip!] ... getting his toy as he was already standing up and only 1 foot away from it and there were no customers in our corner just us"


It's YOUR fault. Why *DON'T you own up to it?

Jessica & Kaleb 1 child; 1 angel baby; Massachusetts 4840 posts
5th May '13
Quoting mαkαnαni:" It's YOUR fault. Why *DON'T you own up to it?"


because it wasnt... how was it my fault?? I took corrected him when he stood up, and i kept having him sit back down, and once it got outa hand we left



how is it my fault....

j0des(+2) 18 kids; Virginia 5095 posts
5th May '13

If in fact your son is special needs, you're going to have to start taking responsibility for his behavior/actions. You have to learn how to avoid/prevent ill behavior or put a stop to it. I have to leave stores alot of the time.. I would rather accept responsibility than have my son be brandished for bad behavior.



Stop trying to defend yourself because that just makes it worse. You have to learn to accept responsibility and learn from your mistakes. I never know how to respond when complimented for being a good mom, because I just do what I need to in order to raise well mannered happy children..imo thats what should be done and it doesnt make me a good mom..it just makes me a mom.



But part of doing everything you can for your child in order to help them is preventing these types of things from happening. Be accepting of how/who he is and protect him from rude people like you experienced in this instance. While you cannot prevent others ill behavior, you can prevent your sons ill behavior. While you dont think he was being bad, its obvious other people dont agree with you.



My family and I, we are super proud of my oldest and talk about how proud we are of him when he does well(doctors visits, family outings, ect)..but other people looking in, wouldnt think he was well behaved because they dont know him. Know what I mean? You cant expect others to see your child the way you do.