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Should I be upset? flip off 2 kids; Forks, Washington 1490 posts
6th May '13

SO's ex gf messaged him the other day. He told me about it. She was just saying hi. I asked him not to talk to her.....They were together a long time and when he told her a few years ago that he was getting married (to his now ex) she cried about how she missed him I guess...IDK.



Anyway, he texted her the other night and said that I didn't approve of them talking, which I don't and she was all pissed. he promised me that he wouldnt talk to her anymore and that my feelings were more important. So, I had a gut feeling and I looked through his phone last night, which I don't do, and he had texted her "sorry ill talk to you later". I was f**king pissed. I called him a liar and I was just so hurt....I felt like her feelings are more important than mine. Why is he saying sorry to her?? So we talked about it and he said that that's not what he meant he just felt bad for how he said he didn't want to talk to her anymore. We talked like adults and I was fine with it. But, should I have even gotten mad? I feel like he lied to me. I was so hurt...and I know it's just a text that's not the point. I don't think he would ever cheat on me but now how do I know he won't just text her and I just don't know about it?

Tara plus 3! Due October 10 (girl); 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Missouri 2773 posts
6th May '13
Quoting flip off:" SO's ex gf messaged him the other day. He told me about it. She was just saying hi. I asked him not to ... [snip!] ... the point. I don't think he would ever cheat on me but now how do I know he won't just text her and I just don't know about it?"


Is be pissed too! That's fucked up on his part. Phone number change :)

flip off 2 kids; Forks, Washington 1490 posts
6th May '13

I mean I feel bad for going through his phone and I know nothing is or will go on between them but still. I know he felt bad how he said it to her but wtf? I don't care about her feelings. Sorry if that makes me a c**t but I really just don't care at all how she feels about anything.



I didn't ask him to not talk to her bc I'm jealous or bc I'm worried. They haven't talked in like a year anyway

RonniG Due July 19; 1 child; Plentywood, Montana 2036 posts
6th May '13

Are there trust issues in your relationship? Has he had discrepancies in the past? I feel like if he hasn't had any issues with cheating then you should trust him enough to let him talk to whoever he wants. But maybe I'm just thinking other people's relationships should be more like mine.

flip off 2 kids; Forks, Washington 1490 posts
6th May '13

No he hasn't. But I feel like if I feel uncomfortable with him talking to this one person even though it's not because of him that he should respect that. It's not him I dont trust.

RonniG Due July 19; 1 child; Plentywood, Montana 2036 posts
6th May '13
Quoting flip off:" No he hasn't. But I feel like if I feel uncomfortable with him talking to this one person even though it's not because of him that he should respect that. It's not him I dont trust."


Well what is she going to do... rape him??

flip off 2 kids; Forks, Washington 1490 posts
6th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting RonniG:</b>" Well what is she going to do... rape him?? "</blockquote>




No. thats not the point. I dont like her.

flip off 2 kids; Forks, Washington 1490 posts
6th May '13

It's not like I'm asking him to give up taking to a close friend who he talks to every day. It's an ex gf who randomly messages him when she is lonely. Like every few months.

user banned 2 kids; Iowa 7762 posts
6th May '13
Quoting flip off:" <blockquote><b>Quoting RonniG:</b>" Well what is she going to do... rape him?? "</blockquote> No. thats not the point. I dont like her."


That seems like a really petty and insecure reason to tell him not to talk to someone.
He's a grown ass man, he should be allowed to talk to whoever he wants.

flip off 2 kids; Forks, Washington 1490 posts
6th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sailor Moon:</b>" That seems like a really petty and insecure reason to tell him not to talk to someone. He's a grown ass man, he should be allowed to talk to whoever he wants."</blockquote>




While I agree that he should be allowed to talk to whomever he wants I dying think I'm in the wrong for asking him not to talk to an ex that had given him problems in the past

Snippy Due March 8; 1 child; Australia 419 posts
6th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting flip off:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sailor Moon:</b>" That seems like a really petty and insecure ... [snip!] ... to whomever he wants I dying think I'm in the wrong for asking him not to talk to an ex that had given him problems in the past"</blockquote>




Same thing happened with me and SO recently except she wanted to meet up for coffee (he doesn't even drink coffee) I said you wouldn't want me to meet up with my ex, I said why he said because me and my ex had sex and they didn't -.- I said an ex is an ex regardless of physical contact. He hasn't spoken to her since and I would be pissed if he did

Kelly&Coralie 1 child; Rochester, NY, United States 56009 posts
6th May '13

If you trust HIM, then what is the problem?



Like you said, they only talk every couple months. And as far as you know, it's only been texting to say hi or chat for a bit.



I don't really see the problem, other than you don't like him. And that is just pretty petty and immature to try and tell him that he can't talk to her cause YOU don't like her

LayLu (girl); 17 kids; Virginia 4007 posts
6th May '13

I wouldn't be upset that he apologized to her, I'd just be upset if he actually did talk to her again. He said, "Sorry, I'll talk to you later" and left it at that. Maybe he just wants to avoid drama and be a little bit nice to her so she doesn't fly off the handle and try starting shit with you. If he starts talking to her again, then yeah, that's a problem since you told him you don't want him talking to her.. but for now I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Madi's*Mama Due November 2; 1 child; Holland, Michigan 7391 posts
6th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sailor Moon:</b>" That seems like a really petty and insecure reason to tell him not to talk to someone. He's a grown ass man, he should be allowed to talk to whoever he wants."</blockquote>



!!!!



I don't like a lot of the girls dh talks with because they are b***hes but I don't tell him to stop talking to them. There are some that I don't like him talking to because they have been really flirty right in front of me but even then I didn't tell him to stop talking to them, I just explained why it makes me uncomfortable when he talks to them. If you trust him, that's all that matters. Dh tries to pull the 'I trust you, it's them I don't trust' and that's crap. If he has never given you a reason to not trust him, and you admitted yourself its not a trust issue than let it go and let him talk to whoever he wants.

flip off 2 kids; Forks, Washington 1490 posts
6th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kelly&Coralie:</b>" If you trust HIM, then what is the problem? Like you said, they only talk every couple months. And as ... [snip!] ... like him. And that is just pretty petty and immature to try and tell him that he can't talk to her cause YOU don't like her"</blockquote>




Well I guess I'm just a selfish b***h then. I don't mind. Truth is if he didn't feel comfortable with me talking to a guy I would stop...and thats happened. I was just hurt that he contacted her after he said he wouldn't