Reply
BD is moving, wwyd? MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
6th May '13

My ex tells me a month ago that he is moving out of state, originally to leave on the 9th, then when he got the kids Thursday of last week he told me he wouldn't be getting them for either visit this week.. He said goodbye on Friday, and I dealt with tears and whining all weekend, finally got them settled by drawing pictures for daddy and starting a calendar countdown of "how many days until daddy comes to visit".. Now he wants to pick them up from school so he can see them before he actually leaves tonight.. I don't want him to, it seems selfish of him, he's just going to upset them again. Would you let him? I mean the kids don't even think he is still in town. ughh

Allissa Specht 35 kids; Essexville, Michigan 5437 posts
6th May '13

I wouldn't let him. You've already dealt with the upset, no point bringing it back. I'd tell him that. They've already come to terms with the fact that he's gone, so don't mess with their heads.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36616 posts
6th May '13
Quoting Allissa Specht:" I wouldn't let him. You've already dealt with the upset, no point bringing it back. I'd tell him that. They've already come to terms with the fact that he's gone, so don't mess with their heads."


I agree with this!



Why make it harder on them just because he wants to be a selfish dick and say goodbye? In the kids eyes he already said goodbye.

Captain Obvious 2 kids; Havana, Cuba 25634 posts
6th May '13

yeah I wouldn't. Fuck that.

♥Manda♥ Sunnydale, CA, United States 29458 posts
6th May '13
Quoting Allissa Specht:" I wouldn't let him. You've already dealt with the upset, no point bringing it back. I'd tell him that. They've already come to terms with the fact that he's gone, so don't mess with their heads."


:!:

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
6th May '13
Quoting Allissa Specht:" I wouldn't let him. You've already dealt with the upset, no point bringing it back. I'd tell him that. They've already come to terms with the fact that he's gone, so don't mess with their heads."



I tried explaning this to him, he's just like "you don't know how hard this is for me" what he doesn't get is that I don't care. He is an adult, he is choosing to leave, they have no choice in this, my children are my concern, not him.

Captain Obvious 2 kids; Havana, Cuba 25634 posts
6th May '13
Quoting MahmuhMahmuh:" I tried explaning this to him, he's just like "you don't know how hard this is for me" what he doesn't ... [snip!] ... that I don't care. He is an adult, he is choosing to leave, they have no choice in this, my children are my concern, not him."


exactly!! who cares how hard it is on him..it's HIS choice to move. the kids did not get a choice in the decision- they are the ones EVERYONE should be thinking about!

♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
6th May '13
Quoting MahmuhMahmuh:" My ex tells me a month ago that he is moving out of state, originally to leave on the 9th, then when ... [snip!] ... of him, he's just going to upset them again. Would you let him? I mean the kids don't even think he is still in town. ughh"


I wouldn't want him to either.

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
6th May '13
Quoting Captain Obvious:" exactly!! who cares how hard it is on him..it's HIS choice to move. the kids did not get a choice in the decision- they are the ones EVERYONE should be thinking about!"



Exactly! If only he could grasp this part of parenting, you know where the kids come first.... smdh

Captain Obvious 2 kids; Havana, Cuba 25634 posts
6th May '13
Quoting MahmuhMahmuh:" Exactly! If only he could grasp this part of parenting, you know where the kids come first.... smdh"


I swear that aspect of parenting comes much easier to women than men :roll:

Naocorn Due August 17; 2 kids; Tennessee 5461 posts
6th May '13

I wouldn't want him to, but I would let him. What if the situation was reverse? He wants to see his kids, you both made. Or he can tell them he came back and has to leave, but wanted to take them out one time. Kids are gonna be upset, but don't you think they'd want to see their dad? If I found out my mom wouldn't let me see my dad to save me from being upset, I wouldn't trust her very much any more. There are women everywhere who fight for their baby daddies to spend a few minutes with their kids and you are gonna deny him his right to see his kids so you don't have to see tears? In my opinion you are both being a little selfish.

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
6th May '13

If let him but that's just me. I'm sure the kids would be excited to get to see him off even if they cry its a visit that they won't get for a while.

Andi+Andy=Marley+1 2 kids; Fredericksburg, Virginia 4564 posts
6th May '13

I would let him. Imo they kids should get all the time with him they can get before he goes

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
6th May '13
Quoting Naocorn:" I wouldn't want him to, but I would let him. What if the situation was reverse? He wants to see his kids, ... [snip!] ... are gonna deny him his right to see his kids so you don't have to see tears? In my opinion you are both being a little selfish."



Yeah he tried that whole "if the roles were reversed" bullshit with me, but they will never be. Why? Because I would never abandon my children and move almost 7 hours away from them for no legitimate reason. It is not like I told him he couldn't see them anymore, he told me he decided he wants to see them one more time, after he made the choice to be all dramatic with goodbyes on Friday. He knew he wasn't leaving until Monday night, I asked why he wouldn't be seeing them, he said he didn't have time. And it isn't about "not seeing the tears" it's about not putting them through that again when they just had to say goodbye on Friday.

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
6th May '13
Quoting Andi+Andy=Marley+1:" I would let him. Imo they kids should get all the time with him they can get before he goes"



I supported that idea until he decided to say goodbye on Friday, after cancelling his visits for this week at the last minute. I tried to get him to spend the weekend with them, but he "had too much to do"..