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Anyone care to explain why our legal system seems so stupid? FTM Michelle :) 17 kids; Ohio 314 posts
10th May '13

My boyfriend filed contempt of court charges on his ex because she moved out of state and has been denying him visitation. Well when he went and filed it the lady said he couldn't file the publication affidavit to locate her whereabouts because it is only to serve the non custodial parent with paperwork when you don't know their whereabouts. So basically he had to put her last known address and hope her father sends her the papers (her last known address) or at least gets forwarded to her. Basically she was saying if the custodial parent moves out of state with the child and denies visitation and you don't know where they live you can do absolutely nothing about it. That is what I don't understand? Why wouldn't they do what the court is supposed to do and do what is in the best interest of the child by finding the parent that is denying the child to see their other parent? Anyone care to share some light on this matter?

Projectpaige 4 kids; Corona, California 876 posts
10th May '13

My dh's ex did this too. All we could do was send them to her last known address. We did this for a year and she never showed. We finaly had to go to the district attorney and get them to subpoena her. They did and he finally got his day in court. She had just up and left to Arizona almost 2 years. Try and see if you could go that route. Its horrible dh missed out on 2 years of his life for nothing.

FTM Michelle :) 17 kids; Ohio 314 posts
10th May '13
Quoting Projectpaige:" My dh's ex did this too. All we could do was send them to her last known address. We did this for a year ... [snip!] ... Arizona almost 2 years. Try and see if you could go that route. Its horrible dh missed out on 2 years of his life for nothing."


Yeah its sad really. I just really hope her father relays the paperwork to her and she panics and just shows up. I just think the system is really stupid about a lot of things. Also how did things go in court for your dh?

Projectpaige 4 kids; Corona, California 876 posts
10th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting FTM Michelle :):</b>" Yeah its sad really. I just really hope her father relays the paperwork to her and she panics and just ... [snip!] ... and just shows up. I just think the system is really stupid about a lot of things. Also how did things go in court for your dh?"</blockquote>




Excuse my language, but f**king stupid. She told the judge that her son had been away to long and that he was scared of being with his dad alone. She thought it would be best to have supervised visits. Dh agreed of course anything to see his son. She then said lo would be terrified of any court appointed supervisor as well. Judge suggested that ex supervise the visits herself for four hours every weekend till lo was comfortable. When we finally were able to have overnights again, he would throw fits because he said his mom told him if he got in daddys wife's car we would never bring him back. Ha long story short she moved out of state again. FML

FTM Michelle :) 17 kids; Ohio 314 posts
10th May '13
Quoting Projectpaige:" <blockquote><b>Quoting FTM Michelle :):</b>" Yeah its sad really. I just really hope ... [snip!] ... told him if he got in daddys wife's car we would never bring him back. Ha long story short she moved out of state again. FML"


Of course that would be the case. The system is just really stupid and I feel the judge should really see through all the manipulation and all the bullshit. Like really? Also isn't there anything he can do about his ex basically brainwashing his son? That's when a judge should really step up and see whats better for the child, rather than let the child be moved around and kept away from his father. The only person that will suffer is that child. Later on down the line he may start feeling like why doesn't daddy want to see me? It's just so stupid. Our legal system is pointless if they don't do anything. They just make you feel helpless.

⚓Misty⚓ 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7275 posts
10th May '13

you guys need to try to get an address for her so she can be served court papers. would the child support registry have her New address

Projectpaige 4 kids; Corona, California 876 posts
10th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting FTM Michelle :):</b>" Of course that would be the case. The system is just really stupid and I feel the judge should really ... [snip!] ... want to see me? It's just so stupid. Our legal system is pointless if they don't do anything. They just make you feel helpless."</blockquote>




I know its horrible. She still calls my Mil saying all kinds of random shit. My mil told dh' s son that his brothers (me and dh's) miss him, and he says his mom told him they aren't his family. Its horrible, i know how you and dh feel. Do whatever you can to see him and seek all consequences for breaking the court order. Over here you get jail time or community service. Im sure you wouldn't mind seeing her pick up trash onthe side of the road lol.

FTM Michelle :) 17 kids; Ohio 314 posts
10th May '13
Quoting M walls:" you guys need to try to get an address for her so she can be served court papers. would the child support registry have her New address"


Nope she didn't update her address with anyone. She blocked his calls now and she won't give out her address to his family. There is no way as of right now to get the address that we can think of. The most we know is she is in Statesville North Carolina.

Projectpaige 4 kids; Corona, California 876 posts
10th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting M walls:</b>" you guys need to try to get an address for her so she can be served court papers. would the child support registry have her New address"</blockquote>



She could try this. We gave our paperwork to them to serve her and she still didn't come. They won't give you the address though, its confidential...ugh.

⚓Misty⚓ 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7275 posts
10th May '13

how old is his son

FTM Michelle :) 17 kids; Ohio 314 posts
10th May '13
Quoting M walls:" how old is his son"


(Daughter) 3 almost 4 (July)

Lin Brown 2 kids; Tunnel Hill, Georgia 1801 posts
10th May '13

the way my brother has it on file with his babymama is when they went to court they made it to where even as the custodial parent she is not to move a certain distance without my brothers permission (even if shes in the same state) and if she did, she would go straight to jail. i would do what ever it takes to find her current address and get her subpoenaed to court and draw something up to make sure she couldn't do it again. sorry you have to deal with crazy babymama drama, i can't stand girls that try to keep a guy away from his child just because he's happy with someone else and not her. good luck though

FTM Michelle :) 17 kids; Ohio 314 posts
10th May '13
Quoting Lin Brown:" the way my brother has it on file with his babymama is when they went to court they made it to where ... [snip!] ... stand girls that try to keep a guy away from his child just because he's happy with someone else and not her. good luck though"

She was supposed to give 45 days written notice before she could move so he could contest it if he didn't agree. But we've been trying to get her address we don't really know how to go about finding it.

Lin Brown 2 kids; Tunnel Hill, Georgia 1801 posts
10th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting FTM Michelle :):</b>" She was supposed to give 45 days written notice before she could move so he could contest it if he didn't ... [snip!] ... could contest it if he didn't agree. But we've been trying to get her address we don't really know how to go about finding it."</blockquote>




could he possibly talk to anyone in her family? maybe that could help lead you guys in the right direction

FTM Michelle :) 17 kids; Ohio 314 posts
10th May '13
Quoting Lin Brown:" <blockquote><b>Quoting FTM Michelle :):</b>" She was supposed to give 45 days written ... [snip!] ... could he possibly talk to anyone in her family? maybe that could help lead you guys in the right direction"


Nope as normal parents will support their children and not try to screw them over. Especially since she is now on high alert and trying to find a easy way out. Right now she moved her wedding up to next month because she feels the judge will look in her favor more if she had the intention to move in with her "Husband". But I dont know. His father could have gotten it from her before she found out about court but hes a chicken shit and doesnt want her mad at him and later deny him from seeing his grandchild. So thats where he stands, obviously not willing to help out his own child to get his visitation enforced. Its just a really shitty situation.