I just want to do NORMAL things with my son. NORMAL events with the school etc.
But it never happens.
Jacob's school sent out a flyer saying a mom and son night today. So he said he wanted to go, so I decided it would be fun. If he could last. There would be a scavenger hunt and all sorts of activities and lastly a movie.
He made it through dinner, whined through the scavenger hunt, and I knew we were skating on thin ice. He was almost done.
Then BINGO. And it all tanked. He had one hole left to punch and 2 kids got a BINGO. He went from 0-60 in just a few seconds. Starting kicking the table, yelling and screaming, ripped up our BINGO cards, in front of probably about 100 people. So I walked away knowing he would follow me.
I'm kind of glad though, I don't get embarrassed anymore. But then I realized I lost my keys, I immediately phoned my husband who starts to rush out the door. My keys are gone, and Jacob is still screaming at me. Ripping up every paper he can find. Punching me in the stomach and kicking me, stomping on my feet. But me, I just keep walking away, I know he'll continue to follow me, even though he's hurting me. And once we get away from crowd of people, I tried sitting on him AKA deep pressure, no go. And then I just try to show him I'm boss(plus I'm getting really tired of being punched in the stomach by now), push him into the grass, which also has no effect, it's like he's on springs and he's up and kicking me again. I tried picking him up and carrying him out, which was far less effective than anything else and I almost drop him, so now I know. Until he blows this off, I'm screwed.
Thankfully ran into Jacob's vice principal in the hall, who Jacob actually let him put him in a hold. Still didn't calm him down. The principal is with him and trying to help me too. No luck.
And then my husband comes around the corner, and he starts to calm down. Then it's over, and he's like, "I ruined it for everyone didn't I?"
We're not going to punish him, thankfully we've gotten to the point where he understands what he did was wrong, and he knows it. And he feels really bad. He still doesn't understand WHY he does it. But he doesn't like it.
The school is going to look for the keys, hopefully I'll get them back on Monday. And me? Well I'm sure I'm going to be black and blue tomorrow for his birthday party. I'm glad too that I got to see it. Because he doesn't really act like this at home, only at school, and I've only heard stories of how he punches people in the stomachs and stomps on their feet. Now I know.
I just wish I could do normal fun things with him. Go to school activities but I never can.
But on the lighter side of things. I tried, at least I tried. It was nice to spend a little time with him one on one.
So as for now, I'm just going to sit here, cry a little and then go back to making cupcakes for tomorrow.
BIG BIG BIG hug!
What does he have?
I'm sorry, mama.
Quoting ♥Mrs.Garcia:" BIG BIG BIG hug! What does he have?"
He has yet to be officially diagnosed.
But he's autistic, has ADHD, and those trigger severe behavioral problems.
He's turning 7 tomorrow. I love him to death, but I hate being THAT parent, that avoids school functions like the plague you know?
That's what I was meaning. That and I totally got the crap kicked out me tonight.
Damn i feel for you....my oldest has been calling me names and started randomly hitting me as well. I can't take my kids anywhere without them embarrassing me :-(
My son has some triggers like that but thankfully he's never gotten violent, screaming tantrums but no violence. I've always hated bingo because it builds up all this anxious anticipation and it's a huge let down if you don't win, some kids just cant handle it. Last time we had a school function I skipped bingo all together and we played outside for that time slot. Huge hugs coming your way, it's really hard sometimes. :(
i'm so sorry...
i don't have experience here but i can offer support. i know it must be tiring, frustrating, stressful, and then some. but i admire your strength, your composure.
Have you thought about in the future, leaving before he reaches his breaking point? Watching his triggers so you can still go do things? It sounded like he lasted half of it fine.
It's good the principles were able to help. And I'm glad your DH was able to bring the keys. That must be very, very rough. *hugs*
I hope the damn hospitals will help you soon so you can get more help. *hugs*
Big hugs!!! I know exactly how you feel, I'm so sorry :(. My oldest is 7 and has ADHD, ODD, and probably Aspergers which I'm currently trying to get diagnosed. Last year he went to 2 birthday parties and had huge meltdowns at both. One was because his cheese on his pizza was burnt, the other because there were sprinkles on his cupcakes. I'm sure you can imagine my embarrassment as he started kicking, screaming, flailing on the floor. All as the other kids watched in shock as did their parents. I was about 12 weeks pregnant the second time so it wasn't as easy having to literally drag him out of the room so he would stand up and half carrying him out to the car. He wasn't invited to a party after that until last week.
We got him on meds for the ADHD which was a huge help, not saying you should or shouldn't because I know it's not right for everyone. I hope things get better for you soon! I know it's exhausting.
*hugs* I remember those days. Not as severe since my son was younger. But I remember dreading bday parties and other functions. It's still not easy. My son is just a tad younger than yours. It is so hard not being able to do those things, but it's good that he can see what he is doing is wrong. That is HUGE!
If you ever need to chat I am hear to listen.
Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:" Have you thought about in the future, leaving before he reaches his breaking point? Watching his triggers ... [snip!] ... the keys. That must be very, very rough. *hugs* I hope the damn hospitals will help you soon so you can get more help. *hugs*"
We were basically on our way out the door.
I had texted DH at the beginning of bingo to say we might need help soon, and was telling Jacob, "Let's go home, I'll give you your birthday present now if we can go. We need to get ready for your party tomorrow" etc.
And when we got to the point where he had one number left and then when the first kid popped up he was ok, then when the 2nd kid popped up saying he won, I knew we were screwed and it was time to go. But I was to late.
<blockquote><b>Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:</b>" We were basically on our way out the door. I had texted DH at the beginning of bingo to say we might ... [snip!] ... up he was ok, then when the 2nd kid popped up saying he won, I knew we were screwed and it was time to go. But I was to late."</blockquote>
:-( I know everything you do for him and the miles you fight so he gets what he needs. I know it ended badly, but I'm happy to hear you BOTH tried. And he lasted a good while before he couldn't take any more. *Remember all the little steps add up to big steps. <that helps push me forward, because stuff gets real hard sometimes.
I hope you are able to rest some tonight for his party tomorrow. 4 more days until a days of rest! Almost there mama.
<blockquote><b>Quoting TheCoopersKnitWitch:</b>" He's actually on Intuniv for ADHD. And it's really helpful. But yeah, my kid is THAT kid that never ... [snip!] ... to anything. And after this stunt, I won't be surprised if his friends don't show up. I hate to say that, but I really do."</blockquote>
I'm glad you've found something that is helpful! And it is a huge deal that he realizes when he does something wrong, I know it might not be much after going through all of that but it's a very good thing he can take a moment to realize what's going on.
I know, I feel so bad when our neighbor and her kids (pretty much his only friends and that's just because they live next door) talk about going to all these birthday parties. Because I know James is just sitting there trying not to get upset because he never gets invited to them anymore. I know what you mean but hopefully they'll still come to his party.