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mom of three 3 kids; Missouri 6192 posts
11th May '13
Quoting misanthrope:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 14 weeks with #3!:</b>" DH doesnt ever go out to bars, it would ... [snip!] ... upset."</blockquote> So I take it you don't trust your husband? It's either that or you're controlling and jealous."


Nope, I completely trust my husband. And I am VERY jealous. Not controlling, my husband doesnt like going to bars. He's actually a light weight, lmao. He has 1 glass of wine and passes out so hes just not much of a drinker, nor does he like to party. He likes studying Hebrew... seriously, thats his passion. And I dont trust another women touching MY husband. You got that right. I have never had any woman try to touch him... in any way, but I know that it would piss me off. The same if it were reverse. Its mutual.

mom of three 3 kids; Missouri 6192 posts
11th May '13
Quoting Mama Rice:" Ummm I would be pissed if my DH tried to tell me that I couldn't go somewhere because of another man that may or may not be there. It means he doesn't trust me at all."


I have never told my DH that he wasnt allowed to go anywhere. lmao. He has never chosen to go to a bar since i've known him. But if he wanted to celebrate something without me, that would hurt my feelings... He is 'allowed' to go wherever he pleases.

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
11th May '13
Quoting Nussie:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mama Rice:</b>" Ummm I would be pissed if my DH tried to tell ... [snip!] ... to a bar means theres gonna be sluts all over your man??? Doubt it. I trust my husband to go out where ever he wants to go out."


I have gone out drinking several times with the guys from work (when I was in the military) without my DH and never had men all over me nor did my married co-workers have women all over them. We would have issues if my DH didn't trust me to turn down any advances.

MamaRound3 Due January 9; 2 kids; Oklahoma 482 posts
11th May '13

Men+Alcohol=Fight. It's not automatically absurd or false, but I also didn't say it was ALWAYS true. Just far too often. Both while they are drunk, and later when the woman resents them for going out drinking. I suppose Women+Alcohol=Fight too, depending on the couple... The fight is more because of the resentment involved.



OP- I don't think you are being overly dramatic, but I do think it is wise not to post on Facebook about it. I can see why you are afraid of him being without a job. And to all the people bashing you about mentioning his race, it's a sad but true reality that the unemployment rate is higher for African Americans.



But you have to try to see it from his perspective too. Being in the military is hard. It's stressful. It takes frequently takes men & women away from their families for long stretches of time. It's perfectly normal to be EXCITED to be getting out.



Yes, it's inconsiderate for him to go out partying the night before Mother's day. But if you really stop and think, Mother's day happens once a year. Him getting out of the service only happens ONCE.



*hugs* Maybe raise the suggestion that y'all celebrate Mother's day next weekend instead?

Lin Brown 2 kids; Tunnel Hill, Georgia 1804 posts
11th May '13

haha i love the ''i trust my dh/so i just don't trust other girls'' if you fully trusted him then the girls wouldn't be an issue.
Op yes you are being dramatic, his race doesn't have anything to do with him not having a job and honestly that was kind of harsh his own wife would say that. also why can't he celebrate being happy?

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 19250 posts
11th May '13

I would not want my husband to be rubbing up on other women, but neither of us has been to a club since we were 22 Or so. Sort of juvenile if you ask me. (Unless you are that age)

mom of three 3 kids; Missouri 6192 posts
11th May '13
Quoting Lin Brown:" haha i love the ''i trust my dh/so i just don't trust other girls'' if you fully trusted him then the ... [snip!] ... him not having a job and honestly that was kind of harsh his own wife would say that. also why can't he celebrate being happy?"


That was never said. I said I trust my DH, then I said I dont want other women touching MY husband. That has nothing to do with trust. It has to do with the fact that other women should respect the fact that he is a happily married man, which sadly, skanks dont respect that. If you dont mind other women touching your husband, fine, thats your thing. I on the other hand mind VERY much.

the BEAST Wisconsin 15638 posts
11th May '13

I think you're being over dramatic. My DH went out a few weeks before he ETSed, mostly as a "last hurrah" with his friends. I had NO issue with it as I knew it was the last time he'd see most of them and they were family to him. Even if he'd decided to go to a strip club, I trust HIM and know he's coming home to ME not with some skanky girl he may or may not meet.



As far as tomorrow being Mother's Day, I understand you wanting some special treatment but maybe you should have talked with him before he went out and told him what you wanted and that you would appreciate it if he was home at a decent time. I've got 2 kids and am 39w with #3 and my DH will be at work from 4a-9:45a. NO way my kids'll let me sleep in (I'll be lucky for 6:30!) and I'll have to help my 7 year old make me breakfast (because he REALLY wants to do something nice for me). You've got to look at the positives instead of whining that things aren't going to happen how you want

Lin Brown 2 kids; Tunnel Hill, Georgia 1804 posts
11th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 14 weeks with #3!:</b>" That was never said. I said I trust my DH, then I said I dont want other women touching MY husband. ... [snip!] ... respect that. If you dont mind other women touching your husband, fine, thats your thing. I on the other hand mind VERY much. "</blockquote>




of course i mind other women touching my husband, but he wouldn't ever let them come close to that point so i wouldn't ever have an issue with him going alone to a bar or club, he just chooses not to even if i beg him to go

Mama Rice 34 kids; North Las Vegas, Nevada 11980 posts
11th May '13
Quoting Lin Brown:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 14 weeks with #3!:</b>" That was never said. I said I trust ... [snip!] ... point so i wouldn't ever have an issue with him going alone to a bar or club, he just chooses not to even if i beg him to go"


I know, right. I have been hit on by men in a bar and I politely told them I was married and not interested. Same with the married men in our group. I love how some people think women randomly grind on a man and he is powerless to say no. If a woman or man is inappropriately coming onto you then you tell them no. Generally speaking, if it continues it is being forced upon you or you are allowing it to happen.