Reply
user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
14th May '13
Quoting ~*~Modern*Day*Delilah~*~:" Same for me. The way the dads look at their daughters and touch them constantly bothers me. How they ... [snip!] ... in my eyes. Yes, dads are supposed to be kind and loving, and some are more affectionate than others, but come on! lol "


I'm totally more comfortable with "here's condom money".




I don't expect my kids to wait until marriage. I mean, what if they don't meet the person they want to marry until 40? Not that there's anything WRONG with waiting but, why rush marriage just to have sex? Why deny a basic function/pleasure for that long? What if they *never* marry? What if they can't yet marry their partner in the state they live in? The marriage thing to me is sort of...unrealistic. I'd way rather them have lots of careful and protected and consensual sex than rush into a marriage.

Autumn Whisper 1 child; Utah 9977 posts
14th May '13
Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" I'm totally more comfortable with "here's condom money". I don't expect my kids to wait until marriage. ... [snip!] ... is sort of...unrealistic. I'd way rather them have lots of careful and protected and consensual sex than rush into a marriage. "


I agree with you.

Iron Man 6 kids; 1 angel baby; 1700 posts
14th May '13
Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" I'm totally more comfortable with "here's condom money". I don't expect my kids to wait until marriage. ... [snip!] ... is sort of...unrealistic. I'd way rather them have lots of careful and protected and consensual sex than rush into a marriage. "


See, some people might say I rushed into marriage. I married my husband when I was 20. We met when I was 16, started very casually dating when I was 17, got serious when I was 18, and engaged when I was 19. But I never felt like I was rushing...and it was never for the purpose of sex. Not having sex never really bothered me, and it totally wasn't what I was thinking when I started dating my husband. I never felt like I was holding myself back from anything, just that I was waiting for the right guy to do it with. And that right guy was going to be the guy I married.



We'll be married for 12 years this June, so it worked for us! :D And whatever path my kids choose in regards to purity...that's their choice. I'll support them either way they choose to go.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
14th May '13
Quoting Iron Man:" See, some people might say I rushed into marriage. I married my husband when I was 20. We met when I ... [snip!] ... :D And whatever path my kids choose in regards to purity...that's their choice. I'll support them either way they choose to go."


And, listen-I'm glad that worked out well for you. I just feel like you're kind of the exception, not the rule, as far as young marriages go ya know?



I just...I guess every parent has an idea of what they want their kids to do, and, I want mine to go to college, away or here, explore life, graduate, get a career, then think about marriage.



If they don't go that way, I'll still love them just as much, support them, etc. I won't make them wear some weird ring or have a ceremony promising to not get married until after college, ha ha.

Moses. Due October 27; 3 kids; Texas 16003 posts
15th May '13

I find it creepy. I will teach about abstinence and waiting until marriage. Sorry, saying purity wigs me out for some reason. I will not expect it from my child, and I will not force it upon them, and I will also provide realistic discussions about birth control, condoms, ect. I do not want my child to wait for marriage because of me or their father. If any of them want to wait, fine, but it will be on THEIR terms, not because they made some weird promise to mommy or daddy :?

K and N TTC since Nov 2012; 2 kids; Denver City, Texas 1890 posts
15th May '13

I will definitely encourage my daughter to wait for sex until she is married... yes in the end it's her choice, but I will strongly encourage that she remain pure until she's with her husband, or at least in a committed relationship. Not that I think losing your virginity devalues you as a person, but IMO it does make the act of sex less valuable, less sacred... and since DH and I have been married we have the best sex ever.. and I really wish he would've been my first... I regret every one before him...



I have an explanation for the double standard, too... BTW... ready?
Ok: picture a lock and a key... a good lock can only be opened by 1 key, a bad lock can be opened by many keys.



BUT... a good key can open many locks :wink:

BrittanieY 18 kids; South Carolina 16634 posts
15th May '13

I watched the whole video (rather listened to it while I worked) and I'm not nearly as creeped out as I thought I would be.



Their hearts are in the right places even if their heads are...well, I've never been a good judge of sanity :lol:.

Clk 2 kids; Dexter, Michigan 11925 posts
15th May '13

I will teach waiting for sex until marriage but also teach safe sex as I also don't our daughters to get married very young just to have sex. I think the Dad's go a little too far in the video. It reminds me of the Preacher's Daughter show, one sixteen year old girl had to take the purity class over again because of some pictures her friend took of her.



In the class they talked about how masturbation, kissing, holding hands all leads to sex and thus will put you in Hell. There were really really young kids in that class too. Then at the purity ball the dad's line up and say a vow with their daughters and put their purity rings on. It was kind of like a wedding ceremony.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5357 posts
status 16th May '13

It's just creepy. I don't see anything wrong with encouraging your child to wait for the right person, to keep their virginity for someone they trust and being completely safe and comfortable with the whole thing but that doesn't necceserily mean waiting for Marriage. I don't think anyone should be shunned because they are not "pure" anymore, why should someone feel less valuable if they had sex, I mean :roll:



I was 17 years old and it was with my now DH. I wanted to wait for the right person so that is what I did and here we are over 9 years later. 16 is the age of consent here so by anyone's standards I wad a late starter but I'm happy about that in no way would I have been ready before then.

Kaleighshaleigh 3 kids; USA 5691 posts
16th May '13

I don't have time to watch the video, but I would like to say that sexuality is such a big deal to our society society and thrown in our face every time we open a magazine or watch TV. I think it's great to encourage both boys and girls to remain pure longer and and set a higher standard for them. To let them know that sex at an early age isn't expected. Of course there are all kinds of crazies that go to the extreme with many good ideas, which is what this video sounds like based on your comments. :)

Moses. Due October 27; 3 kids; Texas 16003 posts
16th May '13
Quoting Kaleighshaleigh:" I don't have time to watch the video, but I would like to say that sexuality is such a big deal to our ... [snip!] ... kinds of crazies that go to the extreme with many good ideas, which is what this video sounds like based on your comments. :)"


sex is also portrayed as a shameful thing. For a teen, this is very confusing. We have the media yelling sex sex sex while parents are yelling no no no. It starts with the parents keeping an open dialogue with their kids. Expecting and encouraging are two very different things and I think some parents get them confused.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
16th May '13

I agree that the sooner you talk to kids about sex and purity the better. Specially now that you have 10 + year old's having sex more often. I honestly would love it if DH talked to DD about sex. Give her the men's perspective about having sex. I don't want her growing up with that "If you love him, you have to give it up to him." bullshit.

Autumn Whisper 1 child; Utah 9977 posts
16th May '13

To be honest, I hate the term purity for virginity. It just reinforces the loathsome idea that once you are no longer a virgin, you are tainted somehow. It is very much a leading term that is part of the problem.



My child is a boy, but I'd approach it the same way if I had a girl. The cardinal rule is safety - the safety of the body, in avoiding unwanted pregnancy and STDs, as well as abuse of any kind, and the safety of the emotional and psychological self.