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Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
15th May '13
Quoting laurenmik:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" I know this is hard but you have to let her ... [snip!] ... about him and the conversation just stalls.. For days. I hate that I feel this way, but I feel this way because I love her."


I think some distance from her might do you some good. You don't have to come right out and say why, just be "busy" any time she wants to chat or get together. I'm sure she'll get the hint and if she wants to talk about it, then you can tell her.

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
15th May '13
Quoting kacti:" You're right he could if he wanted to, and he does have plenty of time... but that happened 4 years ... [snip!] ... me with good intentions, regret trying to break us up, cause every body can see how happy we are- 4 years later... just sayin'"

If he loved you as much as he said he does he wouldn't have ever cheated, multiple times. Just sayin.



It sounds like you have zero self esteem since you are unaware that you deserve more than that. You can have that love, communication and respect in a relationship where both parties are faithful. You're basically trying to say love should trump all, but actually if you know your worth it really doesn't.

K and N TTC since Nov 2012; 2 kids; Denver City, Texas 1890 posts
15th May '13
Quoting Just Ames:" Sooooooo Why is it OK for your Husband to repeatedly cheat but your ex SIL is a "wh**e" for doing it, hmm? You sound like a manipulated silly girl. "


#1 my husband cheated on me before we were married, I knew what I was getting into, and chose to forgive him out of LOVE... my brother's ex wife- manipulated him into marrying her- she never loved him in the first place, and only used him for his army benefits



#2 I was not overseas serving my country, when my husband cheated on me... my brother was in south korea, less than 2 months after they were MARRIED.



#3 I never said it was OK or that my husband was not a wh**e for cheating on me, only that I still love him and forgave him, and he's still a wonderful man... my vent about my ex SIL was about a lot more than just cheating on my brother... she is not a good person... if it was just cheating- then maybe I would not have considered her such a vile person, but she was conniving, manipulative, and a sad excuse for a human... my husband is a good man!



No ma'am I am not manipulated... I am very aware of the status of my relationship with my husband... and I promise... we are good, and our marriage is for life :D

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15810 posts
15th May '13
Quoting kacti:" #1 my husband cheated on me before we were married, I knew what I was getting into, and chose to forgive ... [snip!] ... am very aware of the status of my relationship with my husband... and I promise... we are good, and our marriage is for life :D"


picard-facepalm.jpg

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
15th May '13
Quoting JessieLeeAnne:" "


Precisely :lol:

laurenmik 3 kids; Aurora, Colorado 7213 posts
15th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" I think some distance from her might do you some good. You don't have to come right out and say why, ... [snip!] ... time she wants to chat or get together. I'm sure she'll get the hint and if she wants to talk about it, then you can tell her."</blockquote>




I think you're right and that's what we've been doing, but sometimes it feels like I'm missing a limb. I miss her and she misses me too. I know we'll figure it out and move past this, but it will be a while.



It feels pathetic to write this, but we've been so close for 18 years.. So I do depend on her friendship.

Emily Dickinson 18 kids; Indiana 57831 posts
15th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kacti:</b>" #1 my husband cheated on me before we were married, I knew what I was getting into, and chose to forgive ... [snip!] ... am very aware of the status of my relationship with my husband... and I promise... we are good, and our marriage is for life :D"</blockquote>




Good men do not cheat multiple times. End of story.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15810 posts
15th May '13
Quoting Emily Dickinson:" <blockquote><b>Quoting kacti:</b>" #1 my husband cheated on me before we were married, ... [snip!] ... we are good, and our marriage is for life :D"</blockquote> Good men do not cheat multiple times. End of story."


No..No...You don't understand.



They are married now so that means he can't cheat. But if he does, it's okay, because true love works like that.

K and N TTC since Nov 2012; 2 kids; Denver City, Texas 1890 posts
15th May '13

Whatever... ya'll don't know me or my husband. We have a GOOD relationship, and he is a GOOD man in my eyes, and that's all that counts. You can believe what you want, and handle your lives and marriages the way that you want... we are happy.

K and N TTC since Nov 2012; 2 kids; Denver City, Texas 1890 posts
15th May '13
Quoting Just Ames:" If he loved you as much as he said he does he wouldn't have ever cheated, multiple times. Just sayin. ... [snip!] ... are faithful. You're basically trying to say love should trump all, but actually if you know your worth it really doesn't."


Wow... you're making some very inaccurate assumptions about me and my life, considering you've never even met me... I am confident in myself and in my relationship with my husband. Why do I have to have self esteem issues?? because I chose to forgive and forget when my husband screwed around 4 years ago?? He hasn't cheated since, and he takes care of me and my family! I know my worth, and yet I do believe love trumps all.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15810 posts
15th May '13
Quoting kacti:" Wow... you're making some very inaccurate assumptions about me and my life, considering you've never ... [snip!] ... ago?? He hasn't cheated since, and he takes care of me and my family! I know my worth, and yet I do believe love trumps all."


Just wondering..how do you know he hasnt cheated since?

K and N TTC since Nov 2012; 2 kids; Denver City, Texas 1890 posts
15th May '13
Quoting JessieLeeAnne:" Just wondering..how do you know he hasnt cheated since? "


Well... when he did cheat, he didn't hide it. He was very upfront about it.
I can just tell when somethings not right. I knew even before he confessed when he did cheat. And... we have threesomes regularly (my choice) so there's no need, he gets strange kitty all the time with my permission.
Wanna dog on me for that, too?? go for it.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 15810 posts
15th May '13
Quoting kacti:" Well... when he did cheat, he didn't hide it. He was very upfront about it. I can just tell when somethings ... [snip!] ... choice) so there's no need, he gets strange kitty all the time with my permission. Wanna dog on me for that, too?? go for it."


No, I am sure you are going to LOVE sharing your "man" for the rest of your life with strange vagina. I see you guys working out FOREVA! lmao

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
15th May '13
Quoting kacti:" Whatever... ya'll don't know me or my husband. We have a GOOD relationship, and he is a GOOD man in my ... [snip!] ... all that counts. You can believe what you want, and handle your lives and marriages the way that you want... we are happy."

And no one is knocking your decision to stay, it's your reasoning (as if it should apply to all) that is what's worth disagreeing over.

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
15th May '13
Quoting kacti:" Well... when he did cheat, he didn't hide it. He was very upfront about it. I can just tell when somethings ... [snip!] ... choice) so there's no need, he gets strange kitty all the time with my permission. Wanna dog on me for that, too?? go for it."

Something tells me you chose to open your relationship to essentially "accept" the fact that you're not enough for him. But hey, whatever works I guess :?