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BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
15th May '13
Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" Don't feel ashamed. You shouldn't have drank so much but that isn't an excuse for rape---IF thats what ... [snip!] ... lock the door when they left? Could he have returned after leaving her? Did you ask how the rest of their night played out? "

From what she told me after I passed out they where here for less then five minutes then went back to her place. She said she watched him drive away when he left because she knew I was passed out.

user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
15th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... him in the house, but said that due to weed and alcohol, she let him in, even though she said her husband wouldn't like it."</blockquote>



She also said her friend said they both left when she was passed out on the couch.



Then she said she spent 8 yrs of her life and she thought she was done being a victim... So IMO it sounds like she thinks her SO might've done it.



But I might be reading too much into it.



OP have you asked your SO when he got home last night? Could you two have had sex and don't remember but he thought was consentual?

Subtle As A Hurricane 2 kids; Texas 4131 posts
15th May '13

You need to tell your SO what happened. I think you should also see a doctor to get checked out and tested.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
15th May '13
Quoting BG Secrets:" I am talking about all the shame afterwords. The talking to the police and the look they give you. The looks on the doctors face when they are doing the rape kit. The whole thing."


If you don't want to go through all that-don't. First things first, talk more in depth with your friend. It sounds like you have a massive case of hangover shame/loathing. Recover a bit and talk to your friend. If I had a dime for every night in college I had to piece together like a detective the next day...

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
15th May '13
Quoting Mrs. God of Thunder:" How long were you passed out for your think? Was your SO gone the whole time?"

My SO was at work all night (third shift). I think I passed out around 12:30-1:00, and I woke back up about 5:00 am.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
15th May '13
Quoting BG Secrets:" From what she told me after I passed out they where here for less then five minutes then went back to her place. She said she watched him drive away when he left because she knew I was passed out."


Could be you just took your pants off, stumbling around, drunk, and just passed the hell out, too.




I tend to believe your friend that they split and went to her place. Did they have sex etc? How long did they hang out?

♥♬♡ 2 kids; Pennsylvania 10385 posts
15th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:</b>" Whoa. That sounds like rape to me. You were too drunk to consent and/or passed out. Pretty sure your SO can get over a bit of weed smoking with such a way bigger issue at hand, dude. "</blockquote>




And her friend told her nothin happened...I agree with you

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
15th May '13
Quoting BG Secrets:" My SO was at work all night (third shift). I think I passed out around 12:30-1:00, and I woke back up about 5:00 am."



you need to talk to this "friend" again.

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
15th May '13
Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Red Bottom:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ... [snip!] ... you asked your SO when he got home last night? Could you two have had sex and don't remember but he thought was consentual?"

My SO didn't get home from work until 7:30 in the morning after I had already woke up, so I don't think it was him.

MinnesotaMommy2One 1 child; Minnesota 2564 posts
15th May '13

how close of friends are you? casual friends? lifelong friends?

Soon 2 be mom of 3 Due November 6; 2 kids; Massachusetts 412 posts
15th May '13

I agree with everyone else...tell your SO and see a Dr. If this guy did something he shouldn't have he needs to answer for it.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
15th May '13
Quoting A❤T=P&W:" you need to talk to this "friend" again. "


Yeah. First step.




I would NOT bring it up to your SO right away until you've hashed it out with her and pieced some stuff together.

Elle&Cole 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Rio Rancho, NM, United States 23736 posts
15th May '13

Is it possible your friend and this guy left and then the guy came back? Did he know your so would be gone all night?

BG Secrets Arizona 4906 posts
15th May '13
Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" Could be you just took your pants off, stumbling around, drunk, and just passed the hell out, too. ... [snip!] ... too. I tend to believe your friend that they split and went to her place. Did they have sex etc? How long did they hang out?"

That is very possible. She said they where only hanging out there long enough to take two shots then he went home because he was tired from working all day.

user banned TTC since Apr 2014; 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15320 posts
15th May '13

Being that drunk, is there any part of the night that's hazy or that you might not remember?