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divorce Sugernspice2227 TTC since Jan 2014; 2 kids; belle chasse, La, United States 2864 posts
16th May '13

done...........

♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
16th May '13

You have two kids already?



I don't want to sound like a b***h but I feel like it is really selfish of you to break up your family because you want more kids.



Why can't you be happy with what you have?

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11952 posts
16th May '13
Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:" You have two kids already? I don't want to sound like a b***h but I feel like it is really selfish ... [snip!] ... it is really selfish of you to break up your family because you want more kids. Why can't you be happy with what you have?"


That obviously isn't the only problem and even if it was she has the right to want what she wants. Why does she have to be the only one to compromise in the marriage? If she is breaking her family up over another kid then so is her DH.

saageex3 1 child; New York 5767 posts
16th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:</b>" You have two kids already? I don't want to sound like a b***h but I feel like it is really selfish ... [snip!] ... it is really selfish of you to break up your family because you want more kids. Why can't you be happy with what you have?"</blockquote>




Well, she also stated that they don't have much of a romance going on either.



Some things in life are far too important to just give up. Her and her SO problems seem to go deeper then just him not wanting more kids

Sugernspice2227 TTC since Jan 2014; 2 kids; belle chasse, La, United States 2864 posts
16th May '13
Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:" You have two kids already? I don't want to sound like a b***h but I feel like it is really selfish ... [snip!] ... it is really selfish of you to break up your family because you want more kids. Why can't you be happy with what you have?"
Sugernspice2227 TTC since Jan 2014; 2 kids; belle chasse, La, United States 2864 posts
16th May '13
Quoting saageex3:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:</b>" You have two kids already? I don't want ... [snip!] ... in life are far too important to just give up. Her and her SO problems seem to go deeper then just him not wanting more kids"
♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
16th May '13
Quoting Sugernspice2227:" Because thats how i feel and i cant change that. I have tryed for 2 years and he has led me on by saying ... [snip!] ... saying tonight he doesnt want anymore. Doesnt matter if i have 2 and plus we are so distant lately and really drifting apart."


This is why divorce is so damn high. People just give up so damn easy. I can understand the drifting apart thing but can't the both of you make an attempt to try and bring the romance back. Who knows maybe if the two of you are more intimate with each other and you are both happy, he could change his mind.

3 little monsters 3 kids; Olathe, Colorado 50990 posts
16th May '13
Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:" You have two kids already? I don't want to sound like a b***h but I feel like it is really selfish ... [snip!] ... it is really selfish of you to break up your family because you want more kids. Why can't you be happy with what you have?"


That's not really fair either. What about him? She has to give up on her dreams or she's the bad guy breaking up the family. No, it's falling apart because they both want different things in life and can't find a compromise.

♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
16th May '13
Quoting Sugernspice2227:" I have been with him since 16 and i am 23 now and he is 25. We have been together for a long time and ... [snip!] ... me that. I havent been wanting to do anything lately because i have been depressed about this thats how the romance has faded."


Maybe you can work on the relationship part and if it gets better you could bring it up again.



I don't really know his reasoning behind him not wanting more kids but if the relationship isn't in the best place.............I wouldn't want to bring another child into it.

Sugernspice2227 TTC since Jan 2014; 2 kids; belle chasse, La, United States 2864 posts
16th May '13
Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:" This is why divorce is so damn high. People just give up so damn easy. I can understand the drifting ... [snip!] ... back. Who knows maybe if the two of you are more intimate with each other and you are both happy, he could change his mind."
~The Lunar Flower~ Due January 13; 1 child; Alabama 6738 posts
16th May '13

You are going to break up your family because your marriage has faded due to something you are being selfish about? This can't be a new piece of info for you. I'd never try to force someone into having kids with me. If you wanna break up because 'you want different things' then maybe you should try talking it out & compromising first. If you have been together for quite some time & break up then he refuses to take you back after you realize your mistake, how are you going to feel then?

Sugernspice2227 TTC since Jan 2014; 2 kids; belle chasse, La, United States 2864 posts
16th May '13
Quoting ~The Lunar Flower~:" You are going to break up your family because your marriage has faded due to something you are being ... [snip!] ... for quite some time & break up then he refuses to take you back after you realize your mistake, how are you going to feel then?"
♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
16th May '13
Quoting Sugernspice2227:" We have tried. We have done everything to make it work and just when i thought we were good i asked ... [snip!] ... going to be in a relationship with someone who doesnt want the same things i do aand with someone i have been with for so long"


Why would you want to bring another child into a relationship that is struggling anyways? You should try to fix the marriage before making such big decisions as far as divorce or more babies. How about going to see a therapist together? That may help you both sort out the issues. Has he told you why he doesn't want anymore?

Sugernspice2227 TTC since Jan 2014; 2 kids; belle chasse, La, United States 2864 posts
16th May '13
Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:" Why would you want to bring another child into a relationship that is struggling anyways? You should ... [snip!] ... going to see a therapist together? That may help you both sort out the issues. Has he told you why he doesn't want anymore?"
saageex3 1 child; New York 5767 posts
16th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sugernspice2227:</b>" Really i have to give up everything for him??? I have given up everything for him!! I stood by him for ... [snip!] ... to be a cop and go with him to his appts for that. What more can i do to support him> why cant he for once support me!"</blockquote>




Don't get worked up mama.




If this is not something you're willing to compromise., then it's time to have a serious sit down with him. I want more children, SO goes back and forth about wanting more and not wanting more. I don't push the subject because its not something we want to do anytime soon. However, if you want more children now, maybe try to talk him into trying later? Come up with a date that you can both agree on maybe trying again and if when that time comes he backs away again, then see what else you can do about it. If you're dream is to have 10 kids, you should be able to have that. It's no different then someone else wanting a certain career or life and striving for it. If you know deep in your heart that you can't let this go, it might be a deal breaker for you two