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user banned 2 kids; New York 34017 posts
16th May '13
Quoting laurenmik:" Not to me... But I always ended up telling everyone that our last was a huge surprise.. My other kids are a lot older."


my fiance's coworker is in his 60's w/a 13 year old son, and he has like 8-year-old grandkids.

tinana+2 TTC since Nov 2013; 2 kids; Armpit, of, Ireland 29526 posts
16th May '13

I think it's rude to ask.



I guess it could kind of depend on how close you are to the person though.

Kelly Banner Due November 30; 2 kids; Wilmington, Ohio 36 posts
16th May '13

Very rude. It makes me feel like do you not think I should have tried to have another child?? We did plan to have another baby to get our v boy but we thought it would take more than one try lol

*B & D Mommy* 2 kids; Illinois 15809 posts
16th May '13
Quoting tinana+2:" I think it's rude to ask. I've made sure to point out to certain people before they have the chance to ... [snip!] ... that both of our children were in fact planned. I guess it could kind of depend on how close you are to the person though."


See I find that funny though. Because either way they still know, except this way you are telling them first. So why does it matter when they will know either way? Serious question..not trying to be mean or anything lol.

I declare a Time War 1 child; Ohio 1591 posts
16th May '13

I think its rude as hell. People keep asking if this baby was a surprise or just assume it was since SO and I are only engaged not married. The baby was planned, we see having a child together as a larger commitment to a partner than marriage.

tinana+2 TTC since Nov 2013; 2 kids; Armpit, of, Ireland 29526 posts
16th May '13
Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" See I find that funny though. Because either way they still know, except this way you are telling them ... [snip!] ... them first. So why does it matter when they will know either way? Serious question..not trying to be mean or anything lol."


Yeah, I can see what you're saying. I meant that in a certain context and I guess I should have explained that a little further. I had emergency c-sections with both and I get a lot of shit from people (in real life, not on here) for wanting to try for a vba2c after failing vbac. So when I attempt to discuss it with people, I explain that the pregnancies were planned, the labors were not, and how I should have thought about birth plans.

Not so much of a "and yes this was planned" lol... :oops:

*B & D Mommy* 2 kids; Illinois 15809 posts
16th May '13
Quoting tinana+2:" Yeah, I can see what you're saying. I meant that in a certain context and I guess I should have explained ... [snip!] ... labors were not, and how I should have thought about birth plans. Not so much of a "and yes this was planned" lol... :oops:"


Ohhh okay...got it! Lol. And I don't blame you for wanting to try for a vbac!

ivalilly 1 child; Kansas 603 posts
16th May '13

I think it's a pretty personal question. If someone close to you asks, I don't know that I would think it rude...but if it's someone you don't know that well..I don't know, I would definitely find it weird. I'm pretty sensitive, though lol.

NopeNotGonnaDOIt 6 kids; Cuba 3000 posts
16th May '13

I think it's inappropriate. I was asked a few times by some co-workers and it rubbed me the wrong way!

ivalilly 1 child; Kansas 603 posts
16th May '13
Quoting Mama❍:" I think it's inappropriate. I was asked a few times by some co-workers and it rubbed me the wrong way! "



Yeah, definitely weird coming from co-workers. Some people have no sense of boundaries.

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11952 posts
16th May '13

Rude. It is like they are looking for permission to judge you depending on your circumstances. Like if you aren't married but get pregnant on purpose or something they want the right to look down on you. They are just looking for a way to judge as harshly as possible. So yeah EXTREMELY rude. IMO. And none of their god damn business.

K.J♥ Due November 4; 2 kids; Russellville, Kentucky 430 posts
16th May '13

if they put it in those words, yeah I think it would be kind of rude. but if they just simply asked if it was planned then idt its rude.

Jenna1234 1 child; Iowa 509 posts
16th May '13

I think its really rude, but then again at work strangers make all sorts of rude comments so my tolerance is basically gone.

♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
16th May '13

I guess depending on the way someone announces that they are pregnant could make me question if it was planned or not but I would never ask a stranger or someone I don't know very well if it was a planned pregnancy or not.

I think it is rude to ask someone if you don't know them well.

ivalilly 1 child; Kansas 603 posts
16th May '13
Quoting 1inpink2inblue:" Rude. It is like they are looking for permission to judge you depending on your circumstances. Like if ... [snip!] ... are just looking for a way to judge as harshly as possible. So yeah EXTREMELY rude. IMO. And none of their god damn business."


That's true. And it is sad that people do actually do that. It's like...do you have nothing better to do than to judge? Just because a pregnancy isn't planned and you're not married doesn't mean crap. SO and I have been together for 7 years and we are just now expecting our first. It wasn't planned, but it is welcomed and we are super excited. We love each other and this baby will be loved so much. It just doesn't even matter if it was planned or not. You are right. People do look for that right for some reason.