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Torn (Vent/advice) AnaOdyssey Due January 18; 2 kids; Japan 3 posts
17th May '13

I have two children from my marriage, which ended when I was 8 weeks pregnant with our second. At this point I am working, going to school, and struggling to maintain a relationship with my children while I get to the place I want to be in life. On the plus side, my ex husband is an outstanding father and our children have a good life, but things are very hard on me emotionally.



Which brings me to my predicament...I just found out I am pregnant despite an IUD. My partner and I have agreed from the earliest stages that we didn't want or need biological children, and upon finding out abortion was only mentionable option. Logically, I know that I am already worn so thin emotionaly I don't know how I would manage a third child, but I also know going though with this abortion is going to rip me to pieces. I feel like given the situation, my best option is to get it over with and move on, but I am already so connected.



I suppose I want to know if anyone has willingly went into an abortion when they didnt 100% want to. How did you handle it? How long does it take to feel okay again? Would you do it different if you could?

White Chocolate Milk 1 child; Chelsea, Alabama 12303 posts
17th May '13

It can take a while, or no time at all. It really just depends. I won't go into the specifics of my situation, but I have no regrets at all. It was honestly the best thing I could have done, and I know that. I would suggest talking to your partner about how he feels and what he really wants.

BαtMαɳ Secret Bat Cave, CA, United States 53489 posts
17th May '13

That was me with my last abortion. The biggest part of me wanted to keep it but I knew with my situation, there was no way I could emotionally handle having another child. Deep down I knew I was doing the right thing so I went and made the appointment and just numbed myself to it until it was finished.



Good luck with your decision, I know it's hard. Just make sure that whatever you decide, it's 100% your own choice and not someone else's. :hugs:

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36449 posts
17th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting White Chocolate Milk:</b>" It can take a while, or no time at all. It really just depends. I won't go into the specifics of my situation, ... [snip!] ... thing I could have done, and I know that. I would suggest talking to your partner about how he feels and what he really wants."</blockquote>




This. My story is in this section somewhere. I have no regrets now. Its been four years.Later

MamaRound3 Due January 9; 2 kids; Oklahoma 482 posts
17th May '13

I've never been in your situation so I guess I can't say 100% for sure, but I do THINK that if I were in your place I would go with adoption. If you already know that the abortion will tear you up, and you know you can't handle a 3rd child, an adoption really becomes the logical choice. To me, abortion really is something you have to be 100% sure about or it's not really voluntary. If you feel like you are only doing it because you have to, then you're not really doing it willingly. Does that make sense?

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36449 posts
17th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MamaRound3:</b>" I've never been in your situation so I guess I can't say 100% for sure, but I do THINK that if I were ... [snip!] ... If you feel like you are only doing it because you have to, then you're not really doing it willingly. Does that make sense?"</blockquote>




Adoption has a lot more emotions than abortion, you can be torn but know that abortion is the right thing to do.

SuperSecret123 Japan 220 posts
17th May '13

I did, I was actually pregnant with twins and questioned it up to the day but I knew it was best and I honestly haven't looked back since..I was sad at first but what's done is done and I'm focusing on myself and my two kids...I don't believe you have to be 100% sure to go thru with your decision... Just make sure you will be able to move on, which I was.. there's no good in thinking about what might've been, just focus on what I already have

AnaOdyssey Due January 18; 2 kids; Japan 3 posts
18th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MamaRound3:</b>" I've never been in your situation so I guess I can't say 100% for sure, but I do THINK that if I were ... [snip!] ... If you feel like you are only doing it because you have to, then you're not really doing it willingly. Does that make sense?"</blockquote>




I have considered it, even called an adoption hotline. I do believe that it might be harder than abortion (for me ,personally)

AnaOdyssey Due January 18; 2 kids; Japan 3 posts
18th May '13

Thank you ladies, it is really nice to be reassured that others have struggled with it and end up accepting amd okay. It seems silly, but that means so much.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36449 posts
18th May '13
Quoting AnaOdyssey:" Thank you ladies, it is really nice to be reassured that others have struggled with it and end up accepting amd okay. It seems silly, but that means so much."


You are so welcome. <3