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speaktruth2powr 2 kids; Ontario 45126 posts
status 19th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Busy mommy*:</b>" I wouldn't contact her. It's probably not ... [snip!] ... out dh had a kid that he knew about, didn't ever see and never told me. I couldn't be with a man who could abandon his child."</blockquote>



But it isn't your responsibility to tell her.

Kimber-lily Due September 27 (girl); 4 kids; Nova Scotia 28962 posts
19th May '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Busy mommy*:</b>" ... [snip!] ... me. I couldn't be with a man who could abandon his child."</blockquote> But it isn't your responsibility to tell her."


You wouldn't want to know about your step child?

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
19th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Busy mommy*:</b>" ... [snip!] ... me. I couldn't be with a man who could abandon his child."</blockquote> But it isn't your responsibility to tell her."</blockquote>




It's not my responsibility but I'd do a girl a solid. I would personally tell her, she could do what she wants with the info but at least I'd know that I tried to tell her what she was getting into.

ma ♥ 1 child; California 63053 posts
19th May '13
Quoting Jenna+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting speaktruth2powr:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" ... [snip!] ... tell her, she could do what she wants with the info but at least I'd know that I tried to tell her what she was getting into."


But if the father has NOTHING to do with the child. She isn't "getting herself into" anything.....

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
19th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Busy mommy*:</b>" I wouldn't contact her. It's probably not ... [snip!] ... out dh had a kid that he knew about, didn't ever see and never told me. I couldn't be with a man who could abandon his child."</blockquote>




She does but it's not the ex's place to tell her. Lets be real here. If the ex told the fianc

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
19th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ma ♥:</b>" But if the father has NOTHING to do with the child. She isn't "getting herself into" anything....."</blockquote>



Exactly.

::Nikki:: 1 child; Arkansas 2624 posts
19th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Busy mommy*:</b>" ... [snip!] ... woman who she does not know. It would be coming from a negative place. So the "she deserves to know" reason is just bullshit."</blockquote>




Exactly.
It comes down to this--who do you care about more, your child or some girl you don't know who is banging your ex? You are trying to screw him over to get back at him, not trying to help out this other girl. What are you really trying to accomplish? Ending his relationship? Getting her to shame him in to being involved? He wont be a good father if someone is forcing him to be involved, he is going to have to want to be involved all on his own...and he clearly doesn't. No good can come from you telling her.

CJKB+JMB=AMB 1 child; Watertown, New York 2525 posts
19th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ::Nikki:::</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" ... [snip!] ... he is going to have to want to be involved all on his own...and he clearly doesn't. No good can come from you telling her."</blockquote>




Exactly!

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
19th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Busy mommy*:</b>" ... [snip!] ... woman who she does not know. It would be coming from a negative place. So the "she deserves to know" reason is just bullshit."</blockquote>




I don't agree with this at all. I know for me it would be because I cared for the woman. If she didn't care about what I told her that's her business but is be telling her because I'd want someone to tell me, if I was about to marry a man who wanted nothing to do with a child he helped create. Sorry.

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
19th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ma ♥:</b>" But if the father has NOTHING to do with the child. She isn't "getting herself into" anything....."</blockquote>




She would be getting herself into a life long commitment with a man who is a shit bag! So yeah she is getting into something lmao.
I would never marry a man who walked away from his child. I'd say peace the f**k out if someone told me. I'd be pissed he hadn't said anything sooner and that he almost let me marry him knowing he's a dick head.

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
19th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ::Nikki:::</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" ... [snip!] ... he is going to have to want to be involved all on his own...and he clearly doesn't. No good can come from you telling her."</blockquote>




Don't agree with this either. I care about ppl, ppl I haven't met, strangers on the street, doesn't matter. I've witnessed this situation first hand and saw how grateful the woman was that someone told her. She couldn't be with someone who didn't give a shit that he had a child. Could you date and marry a man that you KNEW had a child that he walked away from for no good reason?

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
19th May '13
Quoting Jenna+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jenna+1:</b>" ... [snip!] ... I'd want someone to tell me, if I was about to marry a man who wanted nothing to do with a child he helped create. Sorry."


So? If he doesn't want to be a father, he has every right not to be. It doesn't make him a dead beat. He didn't run out on his responsibilities. Perhaps he didn't even want this lady to have the child but she had it anyway. She made her choice so he made his. :idea: This man doesn't have ANYTHING to do with this child. NOTHING. But the mother wants to tell his fiance about their kid just because she feels like it?



I'm having a hard time believing any woman would do that out of the good of her heart. Like I said, its a bunch of bullshit. Let them live. Its none of this other ladies business whether his fiance knows or not.

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
19th May '13
Quoting Jenna+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ::Nikki:::</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" ... [snip!] ... shit that he had a child. Could you date and marry a man that you KNEW had a child that he walked away from for no good reason?"


How do you know it was for no good reason? You know this dude? Oh wait...

Donna Jo Tanner 1 child; Beach Haven, New Jersey 6440 posts
19th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" How do you know it was for no good reason? You know this dude? Oh wait..."</blockquote>




Well if I was in this situation it wouldn't matter to me what the reason was. And IMO he would be a dead beat, I also know a good amount of girls who feel the sane way.

user banned 2 kids; Georgia 24891 posts
19th May '13
Quoting Jenna+1:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Jas ♥:</b>" How do you know it was for no good reason? ... [snip!] ... matter to me what the reason was. And IMO he would be a dead beat, I also know a good amount of girls who feel the sane way."


If he told her beforehand that he wanted no part, that's on the chick. She chose to keep it knowing he didn't want a child, doesn't make him a deadbeat.