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kinda long....needed to get this out :( mommy of 2 great boys Due December 18; 2 kids; Lake City, Florida 323 posts
23rd May '13

I'm a single mother of 2 boys. DS1 is 2 while DS2 is only 3 weeks. Both my sons have different fathers. My x-bf and I decided to conceive DS1. When I was 3 months pregnant, he ran. Now he's a father only when it conveniences himself (which isn't often). A month later I got with my soon-to-be x-husband. After we got married, I was the only one working and providing for us as well as my DS1 and his 10 year old daughter. 2 months after we got married I found out he was abusing my son (he was only 15 months at the time) and cheating on me. 3 days before finding out he was cheating, I found out I was pregnant with my second child. I made the mistake and told him about the baby.
When I confronted him about cheating he ran. I packed my things and left. I am now living with my mom. I have been so depressed lately that I haven't even wanted to hold my baby long enough to breastfeed him so he gets formula as well. My mom is very helpful, but it depresses me even more that my boys don't have daddies. I want so much for them to have a daddy that cares about them and treats them like a daddy should. It makes me cry all the time, knowing that even though I can provide for them the way they need but I will never be a daddy to them. I love my boys more than anything but every time I look at my newborn, I see his daddy. Even though my x-husband was so bad to us, I still love him even though I would never consider getting back together with him. I know I made mistakes but I still think my babies need a daddy in their life. :( Sorry it's long, if anyone took the time to read it but I needed to get this out without having to listen to someone saying I'm being ridiculous. (At least on here, I can ignore the people bashing me).

user banned 33 kids; British Columbia 2986 posts
23rd May '13

Change is hard. But good for you for changing it.




It will get easier, its normal to miss things, but this is what is best for you and your child. I came from and abusive relationship, so I understand that feeling. But its not okay that he was laying a hand on your child. You both deserve better.

Mom of 4 Little Boys! 4 kids; 2 angel babies; Hillsboro, Oregon 4385 posts
23rd May '13

Ah hun, I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Hugs being sent your way!

K.J♥ Due November 4; 2 kids; Russellville, Kentucky 430 posts
23rd May '13

we all make mistakes, and we all love people we shouldn't. the way I see it, (it took awhile to see things this way" your kids don't need anyone in their life that doesn't wanna be there, I was in the same boat (not down to every detail but same concept) and I finally got to where I done it on my own and was mommy and daddy and proud of it. then out of nowhere I got an amazing man who jumped in full throttle being a better SO and daddy than the other two ever thought about being. (they do not call him daddy, they know their dads, the dads just don't care.) it took me three years to find that, but I think every woman will find it, I woke up one morning and decided, that my ex was no good, I loved him but he wasn't a very positive aspect of my life or our sons or my daughters, and I packed my stuff and I was gone, and the sooner I forgot about him the happier I was.

mommy of 2 great boys Due December 18; 2 kids; Lake City, Florida 323 posts
23rd May '13

Thank you both. I just want my boys to have a daddy and I'm hoping one day they will have one to love them even though they aren't his. It's really hard doing this on my own even though I technically have help and support from my family but even so, I still feel like they don't completely support me sometimes. :( My x-husband wants 50/50 custody of the newborn but he's proven to me he can't even properly take care of a 15 month old or his daughter for that matter (she turned 11 soon after I left). I'm scared he's going to get what he wants because I didn't think to get proof of the abuse. I just packed my stuff and left.

user banned 33 kids; British Columbia 2986 posts
23rd May '13
Quoting ** Adams Mommy **:" Thank you both. I just want my boys to have a daddy and I'm hoping one day they will have one to love ... [snip!] ... I'm scared he's going to get what he wants because I didn't think to get proof of the abuse. I just packed my stuff and left. "


Does your child still have marks ect? You could still be able to report him.

K.J♥ Due November 4; 2 kids; Russellville, Kentucky 430 posts
23rd May '13
Quoting ** Adams Mommy **:" Thank you both. I just want my boys to have a daddy and I'm hoping one day they will have one to love ... [snip!] ... I'm scared he's going to get what he wants because I didn't think to get proof of the abuse. I just packed my stuff and left. "


you do whatever you have to do to fight if he ever tries to get 50/50, if he abused your oldest he sure as hell don't need to the opportunity to do it to your youngest.

mommy of 2 great boys Due December 18; 2 kids; Lake City, Florida 323 posts
23rd May '13
Quoting K.J♥:" we all make mistakes, and we all love people we shouldn't. the way I see it, (it took awhile to see things ... [snip!] ... my life or our sons or my daughters, and I packed my stuff and I was gone, and the sooner I forgot about him the happier I was."


I left him back in Sept and I'm trying so hard to move on. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done. It was easy to leave. It's the moving on that I'm having trouble with. I know my boys are better off without him. But it's even harder to move on when he won't even leave me alone and keeps threatening to have my babies taken away from me when I have never mistreated them. He keeps telling people that I'm crazy and unfit to be a mother. So now I'm scared that one step out of line as far as raising my boys and I'll lose them. i don't think I would be able to handle that.

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 18092 posts
23rd May '13

Having a dad around is only beneficial and good if he is a good person. You can'T fit a square peg in a round hole...



Your kids will be better offwithout him.




Stay strong mamma, this too shall pass.

mommy of 2 great boys Due December 18; 2 kids; Lake City, Florida 323 posts
23rd May '13
Quoting ♡ Internet b***h:" Does your child still have marks ect? You could still be able to report him."


No he doesn't. It surprised me when the burn he mysteriously got, didn't even scar. I didn't even think to take pics. I was upset and pissed to the point of not thinking straight.

mommy of 2 great boys Due December 18; 2 kids; Lake City, Florida 323 posts
23rd May '13
Quoting K.J♥:" you do whatever you have to do to fight if he ever tries to get 50/50, if he abused your oldest he sure as hell don't need to the opportunity to do it to your youngest."


Well, I now have the mother of 2 of his daughters on my side. She agreed to go to court if I need her to testify against him when we go for the custody battle. (he was abusive to her as well as her children). I didn't have to worry about custody with my oldest because I wasn't married to his dad.

mommy of 2 great boys Due December 18; 2 kids; Lake City, Florida 323 posts
23rd May '13
Quoting castaway:" Having a dad around is only beneficial and good if he is a good person. You can'T fit a square peg in ... [snip!] ... can'T fit a square peg in a round hole... Your kids will be better offwithout him. Stay strong mamma, this too shall pass."


I'm trying to stay strong but it's really hard. Thank you.

mommy of 2 great boys Due December 18; 2 kids; Lake City, Florida 323 posts
23rd May '13
Quoting castaway:" Having a dad around is only beneficial and good if he is a good person. You can'T fit a square peg in ... [snip!] ... can'T fit a square peg in a round hole... Your kids will be better offwithout him. Stay strong mamma, this too shall pass."


I'm trying to stay strong but it's really hard. Thank you.

user banned 33 kids; British Columbia 2986 posts
23rd May '13
Quoting ** Adams Mommy **:" Well, I now have the mother of 2 of his daughters on my side. She agreed to go to court if I need her ... [snip!] ... to her as well as her children). I didn't have to worry about custody with my oldest because I wasn't married to his dad."


Could you possibly talk to a police officer, you may not have proof, but they maybe be able to make a report still? Im not sure if they can though. That way the judge sees it in previous and current cases.

mommy of 2 great boys Due December 18; 2 kids; Lake City, Florida 323 posts
23rd May '13
Quoting ♡ Internet b***h:" Could you possibly talk to a police officer, you may not have proof, but they maybe be able to make ... [snip!] ... maybe be able to make a report still? Im not sure if they can though. That way the judge sees it in previous and current cases."


The nurse at my son's Dr office said I should but I didn't think they would make a report. I can call the sheriff's office and find out though. I have his criminal record printed off though and that should help me a little bit. (didn't realize how extensive it was until 2 months ago)(he spent 3 yrs in prison for pistol whipping a guy). If I had know that, I NEVER would have married him, much less got involved with him or let him around my son.