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**Quinn** 1 child; f**k it, CA, United States 5205 posts
May 30th '13
Quoting applelove:" It makes me unhappy that I can not get my boyfriends health benefits from work unless we get married. ... [snip!] ... couples(from what I can tell). Only I can't have insurance. because we have not gone to the court house and had a marriage. "


I think the point of excluding unmarried couples from insurance is two-fold. For one, they want to insure as few people as possible. It costs more for your employer, and for the insurance company, to insure additional people. Secondly, they want to make sure that they're insuring people who are going to be around long-term so that people don't just say they're together, have their girlfriend/boyfriend added to their insurance, have a procedure done the first month and then say they "broke up" after the procedure so they no longer have to pay premiums. Without the legal precedence of marriage to prove a relationship is legitimate, the company would have no way of knowing if people were just saying they were in a relationship with their friends to be nice and get them insurance, or adding someone short-term so they could get a procedure done and then have them bail because they "broke up" (when really they didn't). It's easy to say "my girlfriend and I broke up, I want her off my insurance", but I don't know too many people who would go through a divorce just to avoid paying insurance premiums.
Of course, marriage fraud can occur, but it's pretty uncommon since marriage is a huge commitment and divorce is expense, so most people wouldn't put themselves in a situation like that just to help get someone insurance.
I hope this makes sense, I rambled a bit lol.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5408 posts
May 30th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting applelove:</b>" It makes me unhappy that I can not get my boyfriends health benefits from work unless we get married. ... [snip!] ... couples(from what I can tell). Only I can't have insurance. because we have not gone to the court house and had a marriage. "</blockquote>




That's really unfortunate :( Unmarried couples and Married couples are treated very equally here, I think we just simply recognise that Marriage is a choice that not everyone will want to make in life and that shouldn't disadvantage them in anyway. I couldn't imagine seeing a couple who had been together for 10 years and planned to stay together forever being treated unequally to another couple who had met and Married within a year for example, that's not right, people would be disgusted with that here.



We're actually fighting for the right to have Civil Partnerships for hetrosexual couples at the moment here as that many people aren't really interested with "Marriage" anymore.

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
May 30th '13
Quoting richelle@:" Is that title only reserved for true marriage?"


Common law? Meaning you are considered husband/wife because you've lived together for many years? Or just calling your SO hubby/wifey for the sake of it?



I think it is stupid. "Wife" and "Husband" explicitly imply LEGAL ties. If you all want to be legally tied together, then get married. It's just that simple.



ETA: This is to those who are NOT in a common law marriage. I have a cousin who started referring to her "fiance" / soon-to-be-BD as her husband and it annoys the crap out of our family. She's been doing this since they were together for less than a year, and now she is having second thoughts on actually making it legit.

Back to Noob Status Ohio 14048 posts
May 30th '13
Quoting richelle@:" I have struggled with it too. 6 years together with 2 kids, girlfriend/boyfriend makes less sense to me then to just say Husband and Wife."


Or you could call yourselves "partners." Or go to the courthouse and obtain an marriage certificate.

applelove 1 child; auburn, CA, United States 6529 posts
May 30th '13
Quoting Mrs. Sherwood:" I think the point of excluding unmarried couples from insurance is two-fold. For one, they want to insure ... [snip!] ... put themselves in a situation like that just to help get someone insurance. I hope this makes sense, I rambled a bit lol."


Perhaps it should be a rule somthing like if the couple has children together then both parents can be insured. Or if the other partner is also the life insurance benefactor.



Because we live together and yeah that could be a "lets get insurance scam" but I am on his life insurance and paychecks go into a joint account ect..



Anyway we are going to just go have a courthouse wedding so I can get insured and then have a nicer one when we are ready



BUT in his company same sex partners can have insurance if not married, because they can't get married. I think its good they can get insured and should be able to get married.



I just think our health system is so fucked up and it is a big thorn in my side all the time because I have health problems.

applelove 1 child; auburn, CA, United States 6529 posts
May 30th '13
Quoting Iggy Azalea:" <blockquote><b>Quoting applelove:</b>" It makes me unhappy that I can not get my boyfriends ... [snip!] ... Partnerships for hetrosexual couples at the moment here as that many people aren't really interested with "Marriage" anymore."

I agree with you. I mean I think it is just outrageous that heterosexual and homosexual families are not treated exactly the same. And long term partners the same as married, but that is just not how it is. So For me, I am going to just go get married and then be done with it. And then I will say husband instead of partner:)
I would like to travel to the UK one day. I would like to be able to spend a long time, a month or two and just travel around. I lived in a tourism based community for a long time and now one of my fears is becoming "the tourist" LOL I don't know if your community gets a lot of tourism but if it does then you know the feeling

applelove 1 child; auburn, CA, United States 6529 posts
May 30th '13
Quoting Dirty Sally:" <blockquote><b>Quoting applelove:</b>" It makes me unhappy that I can not get my boyfriends ... [snip!] ... In texas its different, SO is able to get us into his health benefits, I thought it was like that everywhere"


OMG I know! My SO if from TX and when he got his job he said they will insure you and I knew that is not true. I worked in the industry here and knew that it is not like that in most CA jobs. I told him over and over and he said I was wrong.



Then when it turned out I was right. Then my SO just said, well in TX its not like that.

Severus Snape 2 kids; Tennessee 3550 posts
May 30th '13

I personally think it's kind of dumb to call someone husband/wife if not married. I had friends who did that and it just seemed immature to me. Especially since most of them had been dating a week or so beforehand.... But while it annoys me, they could do whatever they want. I wouldn't try to restrict them from any pet name no matter how silly it sounds to me.

Mara Due September 27 (girl); 2 kids; San Francisco, California 38965 posts
May 30th '13
Quoting richelle@:" Is that title only reserved for true marriage?"


generally speaking, i assume someone has a piece of paper that accompanies their title.

Ellie. 2 kids; Arizona 25439 posts
May 31st '13
Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" If you fit the requirements for a Common Law Marriage, then you are Married and I see no offense in calling each other Husband and Wife."


Exactly. They call it a common law MARRIAGE for a reason.... so no, it doesn't bother me.

KissMeFinnNelson<3 1 child; 2 angel babies; Glasgow, Scotland, UK, United Kingdom 5408 posts
Jun 2nd '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting applelove:</b>" I agree with you. I mean I think it is just outrageous that heterosexual and homosexual families are ... [snip!] ... is becoming "the tourist" LOL I don't know if your community gets a lot of tourism but if it does then you know the feeling "</blockquote>




Well heterosexual and homosexual couples are treated the same here. Yes you should come here, we're not quite as stuck in the dark ages lol

richelle@ Edmonton, Alberta 56 posts
Jun 2nd '13
Quoting Iggy Azalea:" <blockquote><b>Quoting applelove:</b>" I agree with you. I mean I think it is just ... [snip!] ... and homosexual couples are treated the same here. Yes you should come here, we're not quite as stuck in the dark ages lol"


Isnt the UK famous for the dark ages?



Joking

MontanaMadness 2 kids; Small Town, MT, United States 4536 posts
Jun 4th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting richelle@:</b>" Is that title only reserved for true marriage?"</blockquote>




I find it kind of ghetto...but each to their own