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Baby Daddy drama... Shayla Lewis Due October 1 (girl); 18 kids; Apple Valley, California 20 posts
28th May '13

So my daughters dad is a prick that walked out on us lastr year and then tried to take me to court to get sole custody.There were court dates but I lived way too far to go to the hearings but I did respond by phone and by paper work.Anyway this prick was granted visitation and only showed up once.I filed reports on him for that.He has never paid child support,not because he cant...he doesnt want to.He doesnt like to do anything unless he is calling the shots.I requested for the case to be moved to my county and they wouldnt move it.I live 2 hours from where the case was.He didnt show up for one of the hearings and I never went to any of them.Oh he is not on the birth certificate and has not been established as her father.The last hearing that I was aware of they scheduled on presidents day!I that point I gave up.I stopped dealing with his stupid court shit AND him.This was back in Feb. I moved to another apartment and changed my number.He tried to contact me on facebook and I told him that he was dead to me and my daughter and blocked him...that was the last time I had any contact with him.He has always been in and out of my daughters life even when we were together he was always on the road working.He kept my daughter a secret that she even existed from his friends and family for a year!He wasnt there when she was born.And he never paid child support.He hurt my daughters feelings by never calling her after we broke up and standing her up twice when he was supposed to get her for the weekend.My daughter doesnt even talk about him now and if she does she calls him James...she's 3!The nly reason that I was scared to face him in court is because it is known that I suffer from bipolar disorder and I have a past drinking problem and I knew that he was going to use that against me.
So I filed child support on him a year ago but the case has just been sitting there in the wrong county waiting to be transfered to the right one for a year,so they wouldnt touch it.Well I found out last week that they finally transfered it and they are going after him.I know for a fact that he is going to want a dna test.Money is not great right now and we could really use the child support BUT I dont want to give him a dna test because then im givng him rights and I know that he would try to use those rights to hurt me.I dont need him trying to pull the court shit again or try to interfere in my life.Im about to move from Ca back to Wa and I know that he would try to stop that if he had rights just to piss me off.Its been great not dealing with him and my daughter is now used to him not being there...I dont want to have to deal with him again.He is a very difficult person and he gets off on trying to be right all the time and hurting me.I dont know what to do.

tonys_mama(army wife) 4 kids; 1 angel baby; Fort Irwin, California 15526 posts
28th May '13

She is his child. It's very childish of you not to want to get a DNA test so he doesn't get rights. I understand he hasn't been a great father but you should at least give him a chance. If you want him to pay child support he deserves rights to her also.

M walls 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7267 posts
28th May '13

You can't have it both ways. If you want support then he will have rights. But if he hasn't had anything to do with her yet chances are he won't after

user banned Vancouver, British Columbia 5643 posts
28th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting tonys_mama(army wife):</b>" She is his child. It's very childish of you not to want to get a DNA test so he doesn't get rights. I ... [snip!] ... a great father but you should at least give him a chance. If you want him to pay child support he deserves rights to her also."</blockquote>



Exactly this and what the other poster stated.

orchidlovingmama 2 kids; Santa Rosa, California 1769 posts
28th May '13

If you don't want him to have rights then don't ask for child support. But before you do anything think long and hard about how it might effect your daughter because many of the girls I knew that grew up without a father or thinking their fathers didn't care, ended up with a lot of issues with men and in general. If he wants to be a part of her life I would let him.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
28th May '13

I'd check to make sure you don't have any warrants for failure to appear. By not going to the hearing, you essentially made people feel like it wasn't important to you.



If you want child support, you get the DNA test. If you don't want the child support, continue doing what you're doing.



But also note that your current behavior could easily result in your daughter feeling unwanted by her father, since you're making a point to keep him out of her life. And that could very well lead to her resenting you later on, among other emotional issues.

Onalee's Mummy Due August 26 (boy); 1 child; Newcastle, Australia 5355 posts
28th May '13

Isn't that contempt of court or something to just ignore their judgement or their orders for you to appear.



I think you should have to travel to his county, you are the one who moved.



And you can't claim child support and not let him have rights.

M walls 4 kids; Keenesburg, Colorado 7267 posts
28th May '13
Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" Isn't that contempt of court or something to just ignore their judgement or their orders for you to appear. ... [snip!] ... have to travel to his county, you are the one who moved. And you can't claim child support and not let him have rights."


Depending on how far you l ive they will let you do phone court, that's what I have to do with bd

Shayla Lewis Due October 1 (girl); 18 kids; Apple Valley, California 20 posts
28th May '13

Let me be clear...I didnt keep my daughter away from him..he kept his self away!He knew where I was for the longest,had the phone number and visitation orders and did nothing!I even told him to Skype with her if he didnt want to talk to me and he didnt want to do that either!I was almost kissing his ass for him to be apart of our daughters life and he didnt want to!I know for a fact I dont have a warrant.If I did they couldve came and arrested me from my old place months ago!He gave up on our daughter because he wasnt getting his way and HE hurt my daughter in the process.And at first(a year ago) I did want them to go after him for child support but since its been so long I dont care anymore but they wont close the case because I get public assistance....I'd rather not have his money than to deal with him.

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
28th May '13
Quoting Onalee's Mummy:" Isn't that contempt of court or something to just ignore their judgement or their orders for you to appear. ... [snip!] ... have to travel to his county, you are the one who moved. And you can't claim child support and not let him have rights."


I dont understand why he needs rights to pay child support.

My dd's dad lost his rights to her when she was 2 yrs old and in the same cort date was ordered to pay child support. He didnt want to so he quit his job so he didnt have to pay.

He just started working again for over the past 12 months same job so I am going back for back support all 9 yrs of it at 500 a month. He will be ordered to pay and he as absoloutly no parental rights to her.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
28th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shayla Lewis:</b>" Let me be clear...I didnt keep my daughter away from him..he kept his self away!He knew where I was for ... [snip!] ... anymore but they wont close the case because I get public assistance....I'd rather not have his money than to deal with him."</blockquote>



Oh yeah. Don't let her father pay for her, let tax payers do it instead.



What a wonderful world.

Shayla Lewis Due October 1 (girl); 18 kids; Apple Valley, California 20 posts
28th May '13
Quoting crazy coupon lady:" I dont understand why he needs rights to pay child support. My dd's dad lost his rights to her ... [snip!] ... back for back support all 9 yrs of it at 500 a month. He will be ordered to pay and he as absoloutly no parental rights to her."



I dont get that either!Im just scared that if I get the dna test that he is going to stop my plans to move and drag me back into court.He doesnt deserve any damn rights!When I tried to be nice and get him to call and come pick upnour daughter on his own he didnt want to do it.He was supposed to come pick my daughter up for the weekend for his court ordered visitation and after hours of me trying to call him he finally answered the phone and told me that some case worker told him that he shouldnt do the visitations anymore and that wasnt going to pivk her up.I beleive his exact word were "I'll see her when I need to see her"wtf!f**k him and his rights!My daughter is better off without him!

Shayla Lewis Due October 1 (girl); 18 kids; Apple Valley, California 20 posts
28th May '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Shayla Lewis:</b>" Let me be clear...I didnt keep my daughter ... [snip!] ... him."</blockquote> Oh yeah. Don't let her father pay for her, let tax payers do it instead. What a wonderful world."


b***h shut up!You dont know what you are talking about!

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
28th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Shayla Lewis:</b>" b***h shut up!You dont know what you are talking about!"</blockquote>




You're right. I'm just a tax payer who get child support from her child's father. What do I know.

Shayla Lewis Due October 1 (girl); 18 kids; Apple Valley, California 20 posts
28th May '13

Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Shayla Lewis:</b>" b***h shut up!You dont know what you are ... [snip!] ... You're right. I'm just a tax payer who get child support from her child's father. What do I know.
b***h nobody gives a damn about you or your taxes...get the f**k off my post...and you probably dont have a job b***h!I DO!!!!