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mom vs boyfriend Kahleesi 1 child; Henderson, TX, United States 4008 posts
28th May '13

I've got this problem with my mom.



I'm unemployed, and have no source of income (other than the ever-rare child support check) My mom puts gas in my truck, so I can take my daughter where I need to, and go job-hunting.
For the next 5 days, I have to drive back and forth between my home and a town 50mi away, everyday, for a different errand everyday. Since my boyfriend (of four months) lives in said town, I was going to stay with him for the next few days, so I'm not burning up so much gas.
However, my mom disapproves. She tells me I'm "being disrespectful" by choosing to stay over there. And that I can't take my daughter because "that's selfish and just plain rude."
My boyfriend said he'd change his bedsheets so my daughter can sleep on his bed, and he & I would sleep on the couch. My daughter ADORES my boyriend, and loves being at his house. And its not like we're just going to hang around and do nothing. He has to work, so we'll each be doing our own thing. And its only going to be for 5 days, my daughter's only going to stay there for 3, because she goes to get dad's this weekend.



So, I'm stuck on what to do.
I think I should stay at my boyfriend's house, and save gas.
Yet, I don't want world war 3 with my mom. Or have to ask her for gas again in 3 days.



I need help :(

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 19713 posts
status 28th May '13

I don't think I'd be comfortable with my child staying with me at a boyfriend's house I'd only been with for four months personally. Since your mom is putting the gas in, just let her know if you don't stay over there then you will need extra gas because it's so far, and if she's cool with that then just drive every day. That's what I personally would do. Even if I decided to stay there, I'd probably ask if my child could stay home with my mom.

Blythe. 1 child; Indiana 21473 posts
status 28th May '13

She probably thinks that you wont be out looking for a job. Who is going to watch your kid when you do that if you stay at his house?

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
28th May '13

Do what YOU feel is best. I wouldn't want to drive back and forth 50 miles a day for 5 days either. That would kill my gas tank. It costs me 50 bucks to fill it up as is.

Kahleesi 1 child; Henderson, TX, United States 4008 posts
28th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ladee+Grant+Lilly:</b>" I don't think I'd be comfortable with my child staying with me at a boyfriend's house I'd only been with ... [snip!] ... That's what I personally would do. Even if I decided to stay there, I'd probably ask if my child could stay home with my mom. "</blockquote>



I would (leave my daughter with my mom) but she'd make a huge fuss out of it. I have to have her with me, because the errands are mostly things for her: doctor's appointment, then seeing her dad (who also lives in said faraway town)

Kahleesi 1 child; Henderson, TX, United States 4008 posts
28th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blythe.:</b>" She probably thinks that you wont be out looking for a job. Who is going to watch your kid when you do that if you stay at his house?"</blockquote>




I take her job-hunting with me. Its kindof unprofessional, but you gotta do what you gotta do, y'know?

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
28th May '13

Honestly, shacking up with your boyfriend while your Mom supports you could be seen as disrespectful.
Also, having your LO around a boyfriend of only 4 months could also be what's annoying her.

Blythe. 1 child; Indiana 21473 posts
status 28th May '13
Quoting Kahleesi:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Blythe.:</b>" She probably thinks that you wont be out looking ... [snip!] ... I take her job-hunting with me. Its kindof unprofessional, but you gotta do what you gotta do, y'know?"


How long have you been unemployed and living with her?

Kahleesi 1 child; Henderson, TX, United States 4008 posts
28th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blythe.:</b>" How long have you been unemployed and living with her?"</blockquote>




Since October.
And ive always lived with her. I was never (and still am not) allowed to move out :/

Blythe. 1 child; Indiana 21473 posts
status 28th May '13
Quoting Kahleesi:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Blythe.:</b>" How long have you been unemployed and living ... [snip!] ... Since October. And ive always lived with her. I was never (and still am not) allowed to move out :/"


How are you not allowed to move out?

Kahleesi 1 child; Henderson, TX, United States 4008 posts
28th May '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Blythe.:</b>" How are you not allowed to move out? "</blockquote>




She just tells me I'm not.
That if I move, its because I don't love her & that I'm being rude & selfish and whatnot. She also tells me that CPS will track me down me take my daughter away, if I ever move out.
Basically, a lot of woe-is-me and scare tactics.

Just Ames 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Montego Bay, Jamaica 114793 posts
28th May '13
Quoting Kahleesi:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Blythe.:</b>" How are you not allowed to move out? "</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... me that CPS will track me down me take my daughter away, if I ever move out. Basically, a lot of woe-is-me and scare tactics."

OK, so it's not legit then. If you want out find a way to support yourself. As long as she's taking care of you she kind of has the upper hand in your life and what you decide, unfortunately.

Jeronimo 2 kids; California 1436 posts
28th May '13

If it's bothering her that much, I'm sure your mom is willing to fork over the money to put gas in your car for the next 5 days.