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Terminating rights. taylllorrr Due October 9 (girl); 1 child; Olivehurst, California 1132 posts
29th May '13

My daughters biological father has not been involved with her since she was 2 months old( she is now 3), he is not on her birth certificate, and paternity has never been established( he is definitely her father). He nor his family has ever tried to contact me eventhough they could easily if they tried. He's never paid for child support or anything and we live in 2 completely different states.



Ive come to a point in my life and hers that its been so long I highly doubt he or his family would ever want to be involved, and since it has been so long I would be completely furious that they would try after waiting for so long. I am now in a serious relationship with my boyfriend whom we live with and she see's as her father. Weve also discussed and decided that if we do get married which we plan to some time next year that he would like to adopt her.



Im considering now taking the step of contacting the bio dad's mother and asking her if she can get me in contact with him so that I can get him to terminate his rights which Im going to have to do eventually for SO to adopt anyways, but Im truly afraid that if I try to do that he will argue about it with me.



Im just tired of worrying and waiting around birthdays and holidays for him to try to get in contact with me or her and just want things to be over and done with. But am not sure if i should just try to get things done now myself or just wait until we go through with the adoption and hope he doesnt try to cause a problem.

♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
29th May '13

You would think there would be a way to go about this without having to contact her bio father since he is not on the BC.



What if you got drunk at a party and didn't know who you slept with?

*Kristina G* Due August 18 (girl); 2 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 191 posts
29th May '13

theres no need to contact him if he's not on the bc. just go about your business get married nd let him adopt her

taylllorrr Due October 9 (girl); 1 child; Olivehurst, California 1132 posts
29th May '13
Quoting Sonia[MOBAS]:" You would think there would be a way to go about this without having to contact her bio father since he is not on the BC. What if you got drunk at a party and didn't know who you slept with?"


I have no idea, i think they would still make you try to find the biological father just so later on the wouldn't be held liabel in case the real dad randomly shows up wanting his rights who have been given to someone else.

*Kristina G* Due August 18 (girl); 2 kids; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 191 posts
29th May '13

try calling courts or lawyers nd ask see what they say

taylllorrr Due October 9 (girl); 1 child; Olivehurst, California 1132 posts
29th May '13
Quoting *Kristina G*:" theres no need to contact him if he's not on the bc. just go about your business get married nd let him adopt her"


He still has to terminate his rights before she can be adopted.

HungryHippo 2 kids; Missouri 12139 posts
29th May '13

Right now he has no rights to sign over
He's not on the BC and hasn't had a DNA test.



I could be wrong and I'm sure you can contact a professional to ask but I don't think he needs to sign anything for your SO to adopt her

♥MOBAS♥ 2 kids; 1 angel baby; California 7198 posts
29th May '13
Quoting taylllorrr:" I have no idea, i think they would still make you try to find the biological father just so later on ... [snip!] ... on the wouldn't be held liabel in case the real dad randomly shows up wanting his rights who have been given to someone else."


Have you talked to an attorney. Maybe there is some kind of statute of limitation regarding paternity. He has had plenty of time to establish paternity if he wanted to.

penispenispenisVAGINA 4 kids; Idaho 7076 posts
status 29th May '13

She knows who the father is. If she gets caught lying about something like this SHE can get into serious trouble for this. Contact an attorney when it's time. Around here you need to be married for at least 6 months, when you are trying to reach the father you can run it in the newspaper in the legal section that there will be a hearing and that is classified that he was 'served' as long as it runs for a month I think. Then you go to court and if he doesn't contest anything you're fine. But if he does since he hasn't paid anything, hasn't been there at all to see her, if you have a good enough lawyer you can get your bf to be the legal father.

taylllorrr Due October 9 (girl); 1 child; Olivehurst, California 1132 posts
29th May '13
Quoting *PeanutButter*:" Right now he has no rights to sign over He's not on the BC and hasn't had a DNA test. I could be wrong ... [snip!] ... wrong and I'm sure you can contact a professional to ask but I don't think he needs to sign anything for your SO to adopt her"


I have talked to a professional and even though this is true he could still appeal it even after shes been adopted saying he didnt know he was her father because paternity has never been eastablished and he didnt give up his rights. Id rather get it done right the first time then have him randomly show up later on and create a bigger issue than the one at hand.

Mum to a Monster TTC since Jan 2014; 1 child; 5 angel babies; Colorado 11565 posts
29th May '13

Most cases you run can ad in the classifieds in the newspaper of the city he lives stating you are planning to have your SO adopt your daughter and if anyone has any objection to contact the court you would do the adoption through.



That's about it. That's all I would have to do when I get married and SO wants to adopt my son.

jazzzzz* 2 kids; Beverly Hills, California 7558 posts
29th May '13

Where I'm from he has abandoned his child. And your so can adopt with out signing his rights over. If he hasn't contacted you or baby in over a year that's abandoning his child.

taylllorrr Due October 9 (girl); 1 child; Olivehurst, California 1132 posts
29th May '13
Quoting jazzzzz*:" Where I'm from he has abandoned his child. And your so can adopt with out signing his rights over. If he hasn't contacted you or baby in over a year that's abandoning his child."



I was told this as well, but the only issue is because paternity has not been established he can always play the well I didnt know she was mine card. I not truly not worried about getting his rights terminated, he was 24 just out of prison for sleeping with minors and I was 17 when I got pregnant, and he is now a registered sex offender always in and out of jail, has another child he doesnt see or pay child support for. Just a real winner. I know that even if he didnt want to sign over his rights I could win and have them involuntarily terminated.



I just want to find the easiest way of doing it with out having to go to court and battle it out. I know it truly is just on him and ow he reacts to the situation I just pray to god he will just be coopertive

Karren 1 child; Liverpool, United Kingdom 378 posts
29th May '13

I think like the others have said there is an option of running an ad in a news paper asking the where abouts of the father etc, if he doesnt contest it you are good to go.



I cant remember the show but I saw it on a show once where this was done and he never saw the ad so her boyfriend adopted her.



Sorry I cant really help further.

SaraDenise 2 kids; Durant, Oklahoma 827 posts
29th May '13

Go to a lawyer first. Don't contact him personally. I placed a child for adoption when I was 17. His "father" had left me when I was 3 months pregnant and vanished. He didn't try to keep in touch with me in any way. From what I know, they do try to get in contact with the potential "father." They will try to find a phone number and address to contact him at. If they can't contact him, then they put an ad in the paper. If he is still not able to be found(my son's "father" was unable to be contacted in any way) then a judge will take his rights away.
I want to stress again that YOU shouldn't try to contact him. Let a lawyer do it. You want everything nice and legal so there are no problems later.