How do i move on as painlessly as possible?
I plan on applying for section 8 as soon as they call me back. the waiting list is 8-12 months but last time they called after 4 but we had already found a place.
my x wants me to live with him so he can pay for the bills and he can see dd everyday. I dont feel that this is fair to me at all. He wants me to act like his wife but be single and do whatever he wants. his excuses are he doesnt know why he doesnt love me anymore and just wants to be friends. He wanted another baby b4 all this so now im 14 weeks pregnant yay me! he is friends with a female co-worker and hangs out all the time with her. she supposedly has a bf and he swears he does not like her but i think he does and he is going to destroy his family over it. at least he isnt sleeping with me anymore so i dont have to worry about herpes! am i being unfair to want to move out asap?
No I'd want to move out asap too
Quoting Jays*Mama:" No I'd want to move out asap too"
plus i destroyed and through away a shoe box i made and decorated when i was away at college for his love notes and things. he got kind of upset and said that i had no right to do that bc it would have been nice to show our kids about when we met. Im like are you fucking serious?
No...sounds like "he wants the cake and to eat it, too." I don't think it would be a good idea at all. What if you meet someone? Then you have to explain you are living with your ex and hope they understand that you arent sleeping with him and all that.
I would do what you are doing.
His daughter doesnt need to sit and watch all these women coming and going from his house either.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Mother of Dragons:</b>" plus i destroyed and through away a shoe box i made and decorated when i was away at college for his ... [snip!] ... that i had no right to do that bc it would have been nice to show our kids about when we met. Im like are you fucking serious? "</blockquote>
Lol yeah he wants to break up so he can screw around but still have a live in maid and a backup plan. I'd move out ASAP too.
Quoting JessieLeeAnne:" No...sounds like "he wants the cake and to eat it, too." I don't think it would be a good idea at all. ... [snip!] ... do what you are doing. His daughter doesnt need to sit and watch all these women coming and going from his house either. "
well so far he said he isnt looking for anyone and he swore he did not sleep with this girl. swore on his daughter and grandfather. he isnt a pos that would lie and do that so idk. he wont let me touch him and keeps having these bogus excuses for why he isnt in love with me anymore and he wouldnt feel right to sleep with me and lead me on but he wants to cuddle? he said cuddling doesnt mean anything and friends can do it. plus he wants kisses but refuses any of the sexual kind. i finally had to tell him fucking look if you had a gf would you still be allowed to kiss and cuddle with me? he said no probably not.
also we lost our virginity together have been with each other almost 6 years and have 1 child with another on the way. he is a real pos i think
also he said that i didnt give him enough affection or attention. fuck no i didnt. im a stay at home mom of a toddler. she just started sleeping on her own. i had gallbladder disease for a year and was too sick to fuck most of the time. i dont ever get out to do anything for myself.
do you work or anything? being a single mom isn't the easiest, but it's so much better then being in a crappy relationship!
What an asshole. I can't believe he had the nerve to fucking tell you he wanted you to live with him so HE could see DD everyday & HE could pay the bills. I'm sure he is giving his family up for that co-worker. If all of that was important instead of focusing on that other girl, he'd focus on your relationship.
DO NOT live with him if you still have feelings for him. It usually never works out when only one person has feelings for the other. Sounds like DH's and I relationship when LO was six months old - except for the pregnancy. To be honest, there is no easy way or no less hurting way. It's going to hurt really bad but in time it will get better. For now, act like you don't give a fuck. Give him his time & only talk to him when it's regarding DD.
Good luck mama & I'm sorry. Do you have anyone that can be your back bone in this situation. I know it's really hard. If I didn't have my best friend at the time I'd probably would had drowned myself in my own pity.
Feel free to PM if you'd like.
Quoting KaityBoo:" do you work or anything? being a single mom isn't the easiest, but it's so much better then being in a crappy relationship!"
no i do not have a job. i was deathly ill with my gallbladder. luckily i had it removed. i was looking for a job when i found out i was pregnant again. i plan on using section 8 until my children are in school then i plan on working my way through school. its a plan right? he just called from his guy friends house and i told him what i fucking thought and said he wants me to be his wife without fucking so he can go fuck other people and he could have his cake and eat it too. he said no thats not it and i cant believe you really think that. ill be back home around 12 so we can walk to dq for lunch and got off the phone fast lmao. he hasnt told any of his friends that he has left me. i havent told anyone either bc it would cause a fucking war with my family and his and i would rather not until i was on my own 2 feet.
Quoting Now and Forever:" What an asshole. I can't believe he had the nerve to fucking tell you he wanted you to live with him ... [snip!] ... didn't have my best friend at the time I'd probably would had drowned myself in my own pity. Feel free to PM if you'd like. "
oh i forgot to mention he had an emotional affair with this co- worker. they didnt talk about sex or liking each other but he is pretty much her emotional support. he told her he couldnt be friends anymore bc it was upseting me and he needed to spend his time with his family and she called and said they fucked and everything else. she then retracted when asked for details about his dick lmao. she apologized the next day and bam he stops fucking me and wants to be friends
also he fucking knows if he slept with someone else then me without telling me he would get a round in is fucking head. It makes me absolutely sick thinking about it. he knows my phobia on this
How long have you guys been together?
I have a phobia with that too. DH was only with that other girl for about two weeks after we broke up. We got back together four months after that, I found out he slept with her without using protection. YUCK! Even after we got back together I refused to have sex with him until he got checked & results came back (we got the results three months after) and even then I still felt uncomfortable having sex with him. I think we went a good year without having sex before I even considered it.
I honestly couldn't deal with all. Seems like he doesn't know what he wants. He might say he doesn't love you any more but feelings don't go away from day to night, specially when a month previous to his feelings "going away" he wanted to have another child. Sounds like he's blinded by the greener side of the grass. Hopefully he gets his shit together soon because he never knows when it could be too late.
Quoting Now and Forever:" How long have you guys been together? I have a phobia with that too. DH was only with that other girl ... [snip!] ... by the greener side of the grass. Hopefully he gets his shit together soon because he never knows when it could be too late. "
he said that he has been having these feelings for a long time and didnt want to tell me. the fucked up thing is everything was ok until this friendship started. also she is mentally unstable and on a ton of meds! she also has an autistic son and another one that is getting kicked out of school alot. nothing wrong with her situation but how the fuck can that be the greener side. yes she is an rn and he is only a cna but come on! she has a huge house but she has a 900 mortgage. she told him she stalked her x husband for a year. the last girl he emotionally cheated on me with was about 2 years ago and she was a drug addict. she asked to sleep with him and he ended the friendship. he says that he thought having another child would fix our problems. he is saying that now after the fact when b4 it was he wanted one bc im an amazing mom and he loves me so much. i think he is full of shit.