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Cast Your Vote:

    • Yes -- Votes: 44
    • No -- Votes: 16
    • It doesn't change anything -- Votes: 16
user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting Emily Dickinson:" Well, I guess she isn't talking to me since my children are cared for by family while I work. Oh snap, I'm not a horrible parent now. You guys should get on my level, Sly and Laurie. :)"


I'm going to totally be on your level come fall except I don't even have the excuse of making money while I drop my kids in daycare for 9 hours.

Emily Dickinson 18 kids; Indiana 57844 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting Sly Saffy:" I'm going to totally be on your level come fall except I don't even have the excuse of making money while I drop my kids in daycare for 9 hours."


:roll:
Those poor children. How dare they get life experiences of interacting with other children and adults in a structured environment?! They are going to be serial killers for sure.

CrapBag. 3 kids; Minnesota 7927 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting Emily Dickinson:" Well, I guess she isn't talking to me since my children are cared for by family while I work. Oh snap, I'm not a horrible parent now. You guys should get on my level, Sly and Laurie. :)"


I still stand by our day care being a 3rd set of grandparents, so I think I'm good. Well, I amt the 2nd best parent I can be because obviously 1st best is to stay home. I can't handle that shit, so I will settle for 2nd best.

Amelia says "I have 1 grandma, 1 nema, 1 nana, 2 papas and 1 grandpa! I'm so lucky!" I'd agree with that.

I do wish I had more time on my hands to worry about how other people raise their kids :( it makes me said that I don't.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59576 posts
status 3rd Jun '13

Another question I have, wondering if anyone has experience with it:



In a two family household, working opposite shifts in order to make ends meet, but also have your kids in childcare as little as possible? How much of a strain does it put on your relationship with your spouse or significant other?



Don't know if anyone in here does that, but it seems like another scenario that may be happening when a one-income household is not an option.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting The Doctor:" Another question I have, wondering if anyone has experience with it: In a two family household, working ... [snip!] ... in here does that, but it seems like another scenario that may be happening when a one-income household is not an option."


Not a 2 income household but we have a similar steup when I have night classes.



The first few weeks were rough. My husband was not used to being the sole caregiver for all 4 girls from dinner until bedtime. He's a pro at it now and it's not an issue anymore but we were quite bitey with each other for a few weeks until we settled into the new roles.

Emily Dickinson 18 kids; Indiana 57844 posts
3rd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting CrapBag.:</b>" I still stand by our day care being a 3rd set of grandparents, so I think I'm good. Well, I amt the ... [snip!] ... I do wish I had more time on my hands to worry about how other people raise their kids :( it makes me said that I don't."</blockquote>



Me too :(



Sadly, I can only worry about my own. Who is currently begging me to send her to Titi's (Aunt) so she can play with her cousins.

CrapBag. 3 kids; Minnesota 7927 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting The Doctor:" Another question I have, wondering if anyone has experience with it: In a two family household, working ... [snip!] ... in here does that, but it seems like another scenario that may be happening when a one-income household is not an option."


That is how my sister was for 5 years. BIL worked 7-7 and she worked regular hours. My mom actually had to watch the kids 3 days a week anyways because BIL couldn't watch them after being at work for 12 hours.

Anyways, she would resent him when he was home because she was used to being alone, they were parenting differently because they weren't parenting together. They didn't communicate ever and were seperating. They saw a mediator who suggested BIL work day shifts to see how they feel. After a month, they were back on track and are now staying together and working on their marriage.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59576 posts
status 3rd Jun '13
Quoting Sly Saffy:" Not a 2 income household but we have a similar steup when I have night classes. The first few weeks ... [snip!] ... now and it's not an issue anymore but we were quite bitey with each other for a few weeks until we settled into the new roles."


Seems like that would be pretty normal when adjusting to such a major change.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting The Doctor:" Seems like that would be pretty normal when adjusting to such a major change."


That's what it was. We still have kept up the roles too. I think it's partly because it's easier to maintain them than to jump back and forth. I do all my shopping and most of my errand running when he gets home. I go out with friends at night. I have volleyball games on Tuesdays.



He gets Wednesday to go out because that's all he said he needs.

Always♥Faithful 2 kids; CHERRY POINT, North Carolina 21661 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting The Doctor:" Another question I have, wondering if anyone has experience with it: In a two family household, working ... [snip!] ... in here does that, but it seems like another scenario that may be happening when a one-income household is not an option."


DH and I have done it. He works 2nd shift. I was working 3rd shift every Fri, Sat, Sun and doing a 1st shift schedule of classes on Tues, Wed, Thurs. By the time I caught up on sleep on Monday, he was already getting ready to leave for work, and then on his days off (Tues, Wed) I was in class then doing homework so I could sleep for work Friday to go in Friday night. It really did put a strain on us, and that is what ultimately led him to asking me to quit. We both fit out schedules to be with DD as much as we could, but it left little to no room for DH and I. It wasn't worth it at the time for $8/hr . Once I graduate though, I look forward to working again.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59576 posts
status 3rd Jun '13
Quoting CrapBag.:" That is how my sister was for 5 years. BIL worked 7-7 and she worked regular hours. My mom actually ... [snip!] ... shifts to see how they feel. After a month, they were back on track and are now staying together and working on their marriage."


So they ended up going back to the same shifts, or continued working opposites?



How old were the kids? (Sorry if I'm being nosey. :lol:)

CrapBag. 3 kids; Minnesota 7927 posts
3rd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" So they ended up going back to the same shifts, or continued working opposites? How old were the kids? (Sorry if I'm being nosey. :lol:)"</blockquote>




They are staying on day shifts. Kids are 9, 5 and 3. Her 9 yo has sn which pays big in their stress.

user banned 2 kids; Iowa 7762 posts
3rd Jun '13

I didn't read through the whole thread so forgive me if I repeat anything.



I think it honestly depends on the situation. I was going crazy as a SAHM and it was affecting my kids.
Once I got a job my mental health improved dramatically and so did my kids' attitudes.
Granted I only work like 2 days a week, 16 hour shifts. So I'm still with them for quite a few days a week.

ღ Diana ღ Michigan 15726 posts
3rd Jun '13

In a perfect world I suppose.



My kids were better off with me working. I was severely depressed, lazy and angry. That is no life for anyone especially children, I could have caused more harm then good in their upbringing. Now I am working and I am healthier mentally and physically. I am fortunate though that I get to see my kids at work, we interact in the "jack and jill" bathroom that join our rooms. I also work part time so I have plenty of time to spend with my kids.

The Master 2 kids; Perth, Australia 19989 posts
4th Jun '13
Quoting The Doctor:" Another question I have, wondering if anyone has experience with it: In a two family household, working ... [snip!] ... in here does that, but it seems like another scenario that may be happening when a one-income household is not an option."


huge amounts HUGE. I work Sunday - Thursday 11:30am - 8pm and SO works Tuesday - Saturday 8am - 4:30pm. This way we both work full time but bubs is only in day care 3 days a week. The only days SO and I get off with both of us together is when one of us is ill. Everything is done seperately ... meals are cooked seperately, bedtimes, baths etc. By the time I even get home most nights he's already in bed ... then he gets up at 5am to get ready and get to work on time. I think we see each other (not asleep) for maybe 20 mins a day ... on a good day.