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wedding crashers-wwyd user banned
1st Jun '13

SO and i are getting married in Sept.
at first we had everone on the list, aunts, uncles, friends, a few cousins and kids. it added up to more than i wanted to spend and my family has a shit ton of drama...not something i want to deal with on my wedding day. so, we cut the list in half and decided to go on a honeymoon instead :D



but now my aunt is calling me saying she and another aunt are coming anyway, they will crash it. i asked her what about my third aunt who is a little slow(and actually the only one out of all of them i am sort of close to)...she straight up said "well its not my fault no one else has the brains to crash it themselves"
now if they go and my other aunt doesnt she will be crushed. and as for that statement, i know the first two schemed together about crashing it so why wouldnt they include the third aunt?
this is a fraction of the drama and she is the main one i didnt want to come.



so here i am trying to do some damage control thinking i can invite my gramma with a guest so she can bring the third aunt, but i also have a couple more aunts/uncles who might be upset, on top of that ricks family still wouldnt be invited so its just eliminating all the wrong people.



here are my rules:
i dont want to give up the reception place. i dont want to do a cheap bbq. i want a nice formal wedding. im not flexing on that to make other people happy.



i dont want to give up my honeymoon, though its flexible.



i dont want to tell my aunt to not crash the party, im not going to have a fucking bouncer telling people they cant come.



she said she would pay for her own meal. im okay with her crashing if it didnt offend other people....

Baby #2 where are you :( TTC since Jun 2010; 1 child; Charlotte, North Carolina 4616 posts
1st Jun '13

This is EXACTLY why I had a court house wedding.

user banned Due January 20; 33 kids; North Carolina 14662 posts
1st Jun '13

People telling me they were going to crash wedding would offend me.



That's exactly why I eloped. I got exactly what I wanted...few people on the beach at sunset.

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44070 posts
1st Jun '13

That's so effed up. That's why I am apprehensive about a big wedding because I want the traditional wedding but I feel like I need to invite everyone or noone.

mommy2thing1&thing2 Due November 11 (girl); 2 kids; Phoenix, Arizona 3064 posts
1st Jun '13

thats why i got married at a court house lol, but that is SO rude to tell some one that your going to there wedding even though there not invited :roll: but more then that sounds like every one is going to feel like you let them come but not us. way to much drama....good luck

laurenmik 3 kids; Aurora, Colorado 7222 posts
1st Jun '13

Soooooo happy we got married on a beach with 6 people with us.



I'd be pissed if someone said they were crashing my wedding.

susanesque 2 kids; Georgia 8425 posts
1st Jun '13
Quoting lolajessup:" That's so effed up. That's why I am apprehensive about a big wedding because I want the traditional wedding but I feel like I need to invite everyone or noone."


:!: this



Maybe you could just do a thing stating that "no formal invitations will be sent" (if you haven't already sent them, of course). Downside is you won't know exactly who will show up, but the upside is that some people won't show just because they don't know if it would be appropriate for them to come.



It's kind of skirting around the issue, but it's my only idea. GL!

user banned 17 kids; Boston, MA, United States 9473 posts
1st Jun '13

yeah idk....



i just really do want that formal thing, and it was supposed to be intimate. immediate family and a few friends. very-our style.
not inviting anyone would be crappy for everyone, i would feel like i was missing out on some things that are important to me, they would too. kwim?



i was thinking about telling her if she did this just out of respect for me she should include the third aunt.
she was saying "we were the ones that raised you" haha i hardly know her name. i remember the third aunt was always the one that babysat us and stuff. if thats her excuse then she should definitely include the third aunt. she has something against her because she is slow...she got a lot of attention and the first aunt is an attention hog.

user banned Due November 7 (boy); 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 26853 posts
1st Jun '13

I am SO glad we went on a cruise, got married by ourselves, and had this amazing worry free vacation where we just blew money. It was perfect.

user banned 17 kids; Boston, MA, United States 9473 posts
1st Jun '13
Quoting susanesque:" :!: this Maybe you could just do a thing stating that "no formal invitations will be sent" (if you ... [snip!] ... don't know if it would be appropriate for them to come. It's kind of skirting around the issue, but it's my only idea. GL!"


oh i know she said she knows there wouldnt be an invite, thats the whole idea of crashing.
i thought it was alteast polite to tell me about it lol.
but now i feel obligated to feed them but she said she would pay for it. then she said well why dont you just invite everyone to the ceremony and not the reception but....my family are all at least an hour most two hours from where the ceremony is going to be, it would be horrible if i did that and didnt feed them lol.



gah idk.

user banned 17 kids; Boston, MA, United States 9473 posts
1st Jun '13

i could just tell her i dont condone it and not let her know the time, or tell her the wrong time haha :twisted:



idk i have to talk to my gramma, my dad would be good with that but idk if my gramma would go along with it.

[JadeLee] 1 child; Minnesota 12190 posts
1st Jun '13

With my wedding I feel like I need to invite everyone. SO and I both have large families, so we are getting married on Memorial Day weekend two hours from home (eliminate some friends) and two hours from where most of my family is (eliminate some of them) and it is about an hour from the airport. I hope it works, but we are planning for 200.



When food runs out, it runs out. If people did not RSVP they will get fed last. And if someone causes drama at my wedding they can leave.

HappinessInMisery 3 kids; Ohio 30396 posts
1st Jun '13

This is why I just nixed our HUGE wedding here




and doing it in Chicago <3

lolajessup 3 kids; 1 angel baby; Beaverton, Michigan 44070 posts
1st Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting [JadeLee]:</b>" With my wedding I feel like I need to invite everyone. SO and I both have large families, so we are getting ... [snip!] ... runs out, it runs out. If people did not RSVP they will get fed last. And if someone causes drama at my wedding they can leave."</blockquote>



Same here. I wanna get married around Xmas so that its too hectic for people to come. And pray for a snow storm so that even less come lol!! Our families are all 2-3 hrs away or in diff states :D

[JadeLee] 1 child; Minnesota 12190 posts
1st Jun '13
Quoting lolajessup:" <blockquote><b>Quoting [JadeLee]:</b>" With my wedding I feel like I need to invite ... [snip!] ... people to come. And pray for a snow storm so that even less come lol!! Our families are all 2-3 hrs away or in diff states :D"

All of SO's family is in different states! So I figure if we don't send out save the dates until around Christmas people might forger about it because it is a busy time. Or they may already have cruises planned or not be able to get off of work.