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Smokey_Taboo Due April 22; 1 child; California 5480 posts
2nd Jun '13

Thanks too everyone who responded, and everyone who has given helpful responses! I enjoyed hearing about marriage from all different perspectives.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
2nd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" You really enjoy latching on to words... I probably shouldnt have put the word push into this thread ... [snip!] ... when I should calm down a little it. Since I posted this my SO and I have talked and that has made me feel much better. "</blockquote>




Your emotional reactions to me seem displaced. Like you're offended that I might possibly see that you're feeling hurt by his reactions towards marriage. But hey, I could be wrong.



Be honest with yourself and only accept what you deserve.

Smokey_Taboo Due April 22; 1 child; California 5480 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" You really enjoy latching on to words... ... [snip!] ... hurt by his reactions towards marriage. But hey, I could be wrong. Be honest with yourself and only accept what you deserve."


Ive already said I have felt hurt my own thread was how I was feeling hurt and annoyed by his reaction towards marriage I dont need you to retell my own story. Its the cockiness of yours that I dont like, (Not sure if this was your or someone else) its also the telling me to give up pretty much. Im not one to give up on especially when it comes to my family. Sure as hell dont think marriage is something that I would just flat out all it quicks over. I could never in my life imagine waking up and going to sleep without him and my daughter next to me every night.
ETA: It wasnt you, I re-read.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
2nd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" Ive already said I have felt hurt my own thread was how I was feeling hurt and annoyed by his reaction ... [snip!] ... life imagine waking up and going to sleep without him and my daughter next to me every night. ETA: It wasnt you, I re-read. "</blockquote>




I was about to say. My point is not for you to give up. My point is to make sure you're honestly being respected.

Smokey_Taboo Due April 22; 1 child; California 5480 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" Ive already said I have felt hurt my own ... [snip!] ... I was about to say. My point is not for you to give up. My point is to make sure you're honestly being respected."


He respects me, and he has stuck by me. He works insanly hard for the little family we have, he truly does. He just has some weird views on marriage that I hope we can overcome.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
2nd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" He respects me, and he has stuck by me. He works insanly hard for the little family we have, he truly does. He just has some weird views on marriage that I hope we can overcome. "</blockquote>




I think that marriage issues are more hurtful and overwhelming than you're letting on. I also think they're more common than you think, and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Smokey_Taboo Due April 22; 1 child; California 5480 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" He respects me, and he has stuck by me. ... [snip!] ... and overwhelming than you're letting on. I also think they're more common than you think, and it's nothing to be ashamed of."


Can you just let it be? I dont know what more you want... I have said so many time that Im hurt and upset, I see nothing wrong with hoping that its something we can overcome and Im sure it will be something WE will overcome it. I dont know why you have to keep saying things like in the above comment.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
2nd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Smokey_Taboo:</b>" Can you just let it be? I dont know what more you want... I have said so many time that Im hurt and ... [snip!] ... Im sure it will be something WE will overcome it. I dont know why you have to keep saying things like in the above comment. "</blockquote>




Like what? The best thing you can learn to do is be honest with yourself. Which you seem to be doing here. But any time another person says essentially the same thing, you go on a roll defending the behavior that's hurting you. I'm recommending that you be a bit more honest with yourself across the board. As I stated, these issues are pretty common so it's not something to be ashamed of, but it is something to be hyper aware of at all times. Don't defend the actions when you feel like someone else is feeling that you feeling hurt is warranted. That's not fair to you. You should be your biggest advocate. And none of this is saying that you two don't overcome these issues.

Nae&Zoe's Mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Red Deer, Alberta 651 posts
3rd Jun '13

It really all depends on the couple. My husband and I met and started dating in Jan got pregnant in March. He wanted to propose but I got pissed off cause I knew it was for the wrong reasons, we didnt really know each other and I didnt wanna marry someone just because we had a baby together. So I told him to wait a year and we'd see where we were from there. Well he didnt wait quite a year he proposed a month after our daughter was born on Christmas at 4am. Then when we started to plan our wedding I got preggo again and waited till after my 2nd was born and we tied the knot on our 3 year anniversary Jan 12 2013 :)

Smokey_Taboo Due April 22; 1 child; California 5480 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting Nae&Zoe's Mommy:" It really all depends on the couple. My husband and I met and started dating in Jan got pregnant in March. ... [snip!] ... wedding I got preggo again and waited till after my 2nd was born and we tied the knot on our 3 year anniversary Jan 12 2013 :)"


Aw, thats a cute story! I like that you knew you needed to wait, and you knew that you all needed some more time. Congrats on your marriage!

Nae&Zoe's Mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Red Deer, Alberta 651 posts
4th Jun '13
Quoting Smokey_Taboo:" Aw, thats a cute story! I like that you knew you needed to wait, and you knew that you all needed some more time. Congrats on your marriage! "


Thanks hun!! Its our own weird love story. Nobody knew we were together for awhile. We met at work and their was a strict NO DATING policy. They found out about us and that he was my baby daddy my last day before I went on maternity leave. They were all baffled that we kept it hidden so long our boss had zero idea.

Smokey_Taboo Due April 22; 1 child; California 5480 posts
4th Jun '13
Quoting Nae&Zoe's Mommy:" Thanks hun!! Its our own weird love story. Nobody knew we were together for awhile. We met at work and ... [snip!] ... my last day before I went on maternity leave. They were all baffled that we kept it hidden so long our boss had zero idea."


Oh snap! did they fire him?

Nae&Zoe's Mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Red Deer, Alberta 651 posts
4th Jun '13
Quoting Smokey_Taboo:" Oh snap! did they fire him?"


Nope, we didnt get in trouble at all. They kinda laughed and said they were shocked how professional we were about it. Customers now are still finding out about us cause they didnt know. He's worked at the company for almost 2 years longer than me. And it was funny cause during my job interview they said straight up that there wont be any dating within the company. No "relations" haha. A few months after I was started, the guy who hired me (1st boss) moved away and he was actually the one who called me my last day and asked who my baby daddy was, cause I work with a bunch of guys and nobody met my bf. They thought I made him up. When I said Richard, there was a long silent pause and then a "HOOOOLLY SHIIIIT!!! ..... NOOOOOO?? For Real??". Then I told my actual boss and he laughed and called us F*ckers. I think he was more hurt that we didnt tell him.