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Shanon Hutchens Due June 22; 2 kids; Seymour, Tennessee 543 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Captain Bookworm:" If I could like this, I would :) Well said."


Thanks... lol

Munchkin Maker 2 kids; Maryland 733 posts
2nd Jun '13

Eh. I'm over protective of my "mommy title".
I'VE raised DD since day 1. It was MY body that carried her. MY boobies that fed her. ME who once HAD to work 2 jobs to keep diapers on her behind. ME doing all the doctor appointments. ME not sleeping for days on end because she was sick or teething or just not digging sleep that night lol.
However, SO and I began to consider our relationship serious when she was about 3 months. He is not her bio father, but he has been raising her since 3 mo. She would not know her bio father if she saw him, not that he'd ever pop up, honestly. SO and I had the "Daddy" talk. And SO is very protective of being called Daddy. In all fairness, he has been the one by my side from the get-go raising her. He is Daddy, in every aspect to DD.
That, of course, is not my stance on every relationship with children not biologically related. If both bio parents are involved in the child's life, the child shouldn't have the need to call two people mommy or daddy.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Devil Duckie:" yep! my kids, my rules. If I caught them calling her "mom" there would be hell to pay on all levels. Theirs, his and the wench. "


So, if you get with someone new & your kids decide they want to call them "dad" you'll forbid that too & will get really, really pissed off if they do?

Allissa Specht 35 kids; Essexville, Michigan 5426 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Now and Forever:" So, if you get with someone new & your kids decide they want to call them "dad" you'll forbid that too & will get really, really pissed off if they do? "


:!:

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting *Booger Biscuit's Mom*:" If the other parent is still in the child's life I would suggest a nickname or the SO first name. My ... [snip!] ... They (my daughter and my ex) call her "Auntie Jess" my sister is called "Tee Tee" instead of auntie and so far so good."


I'd feel weird if DD called DH's girlfriend/new wife "auntie" lol.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15211 posts
2nd Jun '13

I think it needs to be reserved for blood parents only, unless the couple is now married and one of the other blood parents is not in the picture.



Otherwise, blood relative only.



Certainly not people who are "new" or not legally committed.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" I think it needs to be reserved for blood parents only, unless the couple is now married and one of the ... [snip!] ... is not in the picture. Otherwise, blood relative only. Certainly not people who are "new" or not legally committed. "


By legally committed you mean, marriage?

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15211 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Now and Forever:" By legally committed you mean, marriage? "


I do, or adopted, which generally means they have to be married to the biological parent.



If they want to be looked to as a LEGAL guardian, I think they should have a LEGAL commitment to them or their other legal guardian.

richelle@ Edmonton, Alberta 56 posts
2nd Jun '13

What if a woman has a child then leaves the bio dad and gets together with a new man, then that man (after like a month) starts introducing the child as his daughter. Would that be wrong?



I had a coworker say this to me the other day and was curious that you guys thought. I found it weird (vary misleading) that he would say she was his daughter with no inclination that she wasn't biologically his.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" I do, or adopted, which generally means they have to be married to the biological parent. If they ... [snip!] ... want to be looked to as a LEGAL guardian, I think they should have a LEGAL commitment to them or their other legal guardian. "


So, are you saying that if a woman has a child by a dead beat who wants nothing to do with her child but later on in life finds a good guy who steps in and takes care of her AND the child, provides for the child and does everything that a father should do for a child. Unless they marry, the kid should not be allowed to call him his father? I'm sorry but I find that strange. A lot of people do not believe in getting legally married.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting richelle@:" What if a woman has a child then leaves the bio dad and gets together with a new man, then that man (after ... [snip!] ... I found it weird (vary misleading) that he would say she was his daughter with no inclination that she wasn't biologically his."


First, he should had discussed it with the mother FIRST. Second, after a month? Yeah, that's weird & not acceptable. You don't even know the child after a month, you might know their name and what he/she looks like but you don't know their favorite cartoon, their favorite color, etc. etc.

richelle@ Edmonton, Alberta 56 posts
2nd Jun '13

I like what was said earlier, about if the bio father or mother is still in the picture then the title should be reserved for the real father. But if the bio father is not around then it might be more benificial and less confusing to the child to call the man in his life dad.



I do agree it is quite disrespectful to have a child call the step parent mom or dad. It makes the parent that does not have the child full time feel as if they have been replaced in some way as a parent (as a SO they have lol ). Again if they are still in the picture.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15211 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Now and Forever:" So, are you saying that if a woman has a child by a dead beat who wants nothing to do with her child ... [snip!] ... allowed to call him his father? I'm sorry but I find that strange. A lot of people do not believe in getting legally married. "



I don't make the laws and I'm not their mommy, I'm sharing my opinion. But yes, unless he can show a legal commitment to be around forever, I don't think they should refer to them as a blood parent.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15211 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting richelle@:" What if a woman has a child then leaves the bio dad and gets together with a new man, then that man (after ... [snip!] ... I found it weird (vary misleading) that he would say she was his daughter with no inclination that she wasn't biologically his."


That's really creepy. On so many levels.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting richelle@:" I like what was said earlier, about if the bio father or mother is still in the picture then the title ... [snip!] ... thats does not have the child full time feel as if they have been replaced in some way. Again if they are still in the picture."


I don't see it this way because although the blood parent may still be in the picture, he might have a better bond with the person who's not blood. At least from the experience I've seen my best friend go through. She calls her biological father by her first name and her step father as dad. They're both still in the picture, but her step father has been a better father to her than her biological dad ever was. I think it all depends on how you bond with the child.