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I am happy being single, dammit! MAAAMMEEE!!! 1 child; Jupiter, Florida 766 posts
2nd Jun '13

Sooo I've been single for a year and a half, pretty much since the moment DD was born. When I think of my last 2 relationships, I hope I never have to deal with another relationship again! Honestly I feel like I wouldn't have time for it. I know there are some good ones out there and being a single mom forever isn't the ideal situation for DD (BD doesn't come around- his choice). Well recently I've started chatting with a guy I went to high school with. I had a crush on him back then and we did hang out once 3 years ago (but I was in a bad place then!). He's over in Afganistan, so maybe that's why I feel more comfortable about it. He'll be coming home in September and wants to hang out. He doesn't mind or seem weirded out AT ALL that I have a daughter (I think that's weird!) and often asks about her. I don't know, I'm just nervous. I don't want to complicate my life, but I do like him and do enjoy talking to him. I purposely avoid letting anyone really catch my attention and somehow he still managed to. I'm finally in a good place and I don't want any complications! I guess this is just a rant. Hoping someone has something to say to help put me at ease. I don't want to miss out on something good b/c I'm too scared.

user banned Due November 7 (boy); 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 26853 posts
2nd Jun '13

Let me tell you what military guys make the BEST dads and especially step dads. I met my DH when my son was 3 years old. He is so freaking amazing with him I couldn't have done better if I could see the future and pick any man I wanted. We are in the process of having my son officially adopted by my husband. He is really the best. THE BEST. I wish you the best of luck!

MAAAMMEEE!!! 1 child; Jupiter, Florida 766 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Smartass *Preggo!*:" Let me tell you what military guys make the BEST dads and especially step dads. I met my DH when my son ... [snip!] ... in the process of having my son officially adopted by my husband. He is really the best. THE BEST. I wish you the best of luck!"


Wow, thanks! You really did just make me feel better! He seems like a really great guy. Well, he has to be. He's still over there by CHOICE. I flat out asked him how he felt about the fact that I have a daughter, b/c he didn't seem to mind, never avoided talking about her, etc. He was like "whyyy would that bother me?" We chat on FB and MOST my pictures are of DD. The guys I'm used to dealing with are the total opposite of him, which is a GOOD thing! It's just when I think of relationship, I think of being controlled, used, stolen from, lied to. Things I should NEVER have tolerated and absolutely wouldn't now that I have DD.

Angel Jeter Due July 12 (girl); 17 kids; Benton, Illinois 40 posts
2nd Jun '13

There is nothing wrong with just "hanging out" and getting to know each other again. You just need to explain how you feel to him and take it slow. I dont think its weird that he ask how you child is doing. Seems to me that he knows that is a huge part of you therefore is interested in how everything in your life is going. Wish you the best of luck. Just take thing slow and one day at a time.

user banned Due November 7 (boy); 1 child; Dayton, Ohio 26853 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Samerra's Momma:" Wow, thanks! You really did just make me feel better! He seems like a really great guy. Well, he has ... [snip!] ... being controlled, used, stolen from, lied to. Things I should NEVER have tolerated and absolutely wouldn't now that I have DD."


Most military guys really want a family. They live on post and see their friends wives missing them and their kids with such pride. My son thinks his daddy being in the Army is the most amazing thing ever. It was truly amazing how quickly DH was a dad to my son and how quickly my son wanted DH as his dad. We met March 17 2012. We got engaged July 4, 2012. Married October 25, 2012. I knew he was the one.

MAAAMMEEE!!! 1 child; Jupiter, Florida 766 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Angel Jeter:" There is nothing wrong with just "hanging out" and getting to know each other again. You just need to ... [snip!] ... is interested in how everything in your life is going. Wish you the best of luck. Just take thing slow and one day at a time."


Makes sense! At first I was like "well, maybe he doesn't realize that DD is a HUGE part of my life." But I guess he must LOL. And yes, I will make this a slooow process. I tend to move fast, which is probably why I always ended up with the wrong guys in the past. I rush into it before I even know who the guy really is. At least we're forced to go slow since he is across the world!

MAAAMMEEE!!! 1 child; Jupiter, Florida 766 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Smartass *Preggo!*:" Most military guys really want a family. They live on post and see their friends wives missing them ... [snip!] ... son wanted DH as his dad. We met March 17 2012. We got engaged July 4, 2012. Married October 25, 2012. I knew he was the one."


That's an amazing story!
:)

Tikaytasha 17 kids; New York 11503 posts
2nd Jun '13

I don't find it weird at all that he doesn't have an issue with you having a daughter. That's amazing actually. There are men out there who will take care of others as their own! Hopefully things can work out for you Hun :D best of luck!

Black Cat 1 child; Fancy, PA, United States 3753 posts
2nd Jun '13

When I met my SO, I was in the same situation as you. I was completely done with relationships. I joined a dating website because a friend suggested it.
This really good looking military guy sent me a message on a Saturday, we started talking and texting. On Friday we met up for dinner. The moment I met him, I knew he was the one. I've never felt sparks like that before. He asked me to go to an 80's party with him the next night. So our second date, we were both dressed in crazy 80's clothes! He was wearing a blonde wig and skin tight zebra pants! Haha!
Now we are living together. I have a 4 year old and he has a 3 year old. I've never been so happy in my life.



You never know in life what will happen. He sounds like a good guy from your post. When he gets back, hang out and see what happens. You never know!

C'sMom! 1 child; Minnesota 1263 posts
2nd Jun '13

Try not to think about it as anything more than friendship until you actually see him, if you can. It's so hard to not to try to plan how it may or may not work in your life, but he may just end up being a really good guy friend that you can talk to after he comes home. Plan on friendship first is my advice! Good luck! It sounds fun to have someone in contact like that with a man.

MAAAMMEEE!!! 1 child; Jupiter, Florida 766 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Busy mommy*:" Try not to think about it as anything more than friendship until you actually see him, if you can. It's ... [snip!] ... he comes home. Plan on friendship first is my advice! Good luck! It sounds fun to have someone in contact like that with a man."


Thanks! It is fun! I look forward to talking to him. We lead 2 totally different lives, so lots to talk about. After having DD, I left most of my friends behind b/c they were a part of my life I want nothing to do with anymore. So it is just nice to have someone like that to talk to now.

C'sMom! 1 child; Minnesota 1263 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Samerra's Momma:" Thanks! It is fun! I look forward to talking to him. We lead 2 totally different lives, so lots to talk ... [snip!] ... b/c they were a part of my life I want nothing to do with anymore. So it is just nice to have someone like that to talk to now."

It's always hard to be the only friend with a child, I get that. I know that they can do more things without having kids and I'm happy being a mom. I'm excited for you that you have someone new to just talk with right now!