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http://www.accountkiller. Minnesota 34665 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Dean Winchester:" good points. here is a mini back story on why im lost on to be upset or not. my husband and i are ... [snip!] ... diff around the husband and i just feel as respect for me e wouldnt hang out with the gf.. but then again thats just me :/"


I do understand your frustration. My husband had a friend growing up that was a serial cheater. Still is. Ultimately, my husband broke off all ties with him because he was a HORRIBLE person - he tried to get ME to cheat!

Dean Winchester 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Alaska 16777 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Icat:" I do understand your frustration. My husband had a friend growing up that was a serial cheater. Still ... [snip!] ... to SEMI friends with him at this point. But my husband is still really wary of the influence he can have on him. I am, too. :("


thats my issue i think ultimately. im afriad he will try to influence him to do bad with him.. when i wouldnt keep my friends if they were like that. my husband comes before my friends. period.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
2nd Jun '13

I may be the odd one in this thread but I had a little hard time understanding your question. You asked if a friend of mine cheated on her husband and continued her relationship with whomever they cheated with, would I still be friends with them? Yes, absolutely. My job as a friend is being that. I shouldn't judge nor try to control what my friends do. Would I be around their SO? Yes. As long as him & I had a good relationship, I don't see why not.



Would I go to church with her even if I know she's never been? I'm not religious and I find it extremely disrespectful to go to church without the intentions of actually paying attention and actually wanting to be there so no. If I was religious though, I would. I don't see why someone wouldn't.

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
2nd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dean Winchester:</b>" good points. here is a mini back story on why im lost on to be upset or not. my husband and i are ... [snip!] ... diff around the husband and i just feel as respect for me e wouldnt hang out with the gf.. but then again thats just me :/"</blockquote>



Your husband going to church with them and not you is an issue that you should have with your husband. No one else.



Your husband can hang out with whomever he likes, same goes for you. The wife was your friend, not his. I really feel, in situations like this, outsiders should just mind their business, support their friends and don't judge.

JΔS Georgia 70894 posts
2nd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dean Winchester:</b>" thats my issue i think ultimately. im afriad he will try to influence him to do bad with him.. when i wouldnt keep my friends if they were like that. my husband comes before my friends. period."</blockquote>



Your husband should be man enough to make his own decisions.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26131 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Dean Winchester:" If you had a friend who cheated which caused a seperation in theirarriage would you still be friends ... [snip!] ... prior? And they are both still marries, and freshly separated.. Like within the last 4/6 weeks. Debate and discuss please :)"


If they cheated then their marriage or relationship probably had problems and honestly, it's not my problem to concern myself with. If a friend was being beat, yes I'd stop being friends with them. Cheating? Dude, that sucks but not my problem.



Marriage can take a long time to go through, so if their new SO was cool enough to be friends with, then yes I'd be friends with them.



If they started to go to church, I'd accompany them if I went to church before and it was a church I was comfortable with. Why would it matter if they didn't go to church before? I don't think it's okay to be all "You never attended church before... why are you going now?"

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
2nd Jun '13

If it were a mistake, yes. I'd still be friends with them. If it were their lifestyle, no. Because that comes with a lot of drama and lies that I just don't care to deal with. My best friend from highschool and I are no longer friends because after highschool she continually cheated on her husband, put her kids through hell, constantly introducing to new men (4 in one month I know for a fact because she did it while living with me, supposedly trying to "work on her marriage").. It's not my place to judge someone for their mistakes, but if their mistakes start causing drama for me or they are no longer mistakes, just really bad choices, I'll cut ties or at the very least keep my distance.

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26131 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Dean Winchester:" good points. here is a mini back story on why im lost on to be upset or not. my husband and i are ... [snip!] ... diff around the husband and i just feel as respect for me e wouldnt hang out with the gf.. but then again thats just me :/"


I'm sorry but I don't get this. You say you don't blame your SO for being friends with the guy that cheated, they are good friends. Nothing wrong with that... that's good that you recognize that they can be friends still. But what does being cheated on before have to do with thinking differently about the girl? What does the situation have anything to do with the girl and being around the girl in terms of respect toward you? I don't understand this... so you can understand he wants to stay friends and are okay with that, but you hold a grudge against the girl for what reason? SHE did not have an obligation to your friend that was cheated on, however, the GUY had an obligation to his relationship, which he broke. That sucks. But that has nothing to do with you, you guys weren't in that relationship. Your SO shouldn't stop hanging out with someone because a new girl is in the picture.... again, that girl has nothing to do with you guys, the guy cheated. Even if it was with the girl, the blame only lies with the guy. Two.... if he is a bad influence and your SO follows suit... well that is his problem. That is him being a weak individual and lets his friends influence him. I didn't give a damn what other people posted on my ex's facebook, I'm not the facebook patrol nor do I think I need to patrol any of his friends or what he does as long as he is true to me. If you feel the need to police what he does based on his friends actions... well I feel sorry for your SO. Because that is controlling.

user banned 3 kids; Ontario 10942 posts
2nd Jun '13

What they do in their personal lives I dont care about. Its not my buisness so yes i would still be their friends.

Unless they were murders or abused children and so on, but for just cheating lol to me who cares.

mamaluvsher4babies 36 kids; California 4230 posts
2nd Jun '13

Yes none of my business what they do in their marriage. I know a lot of cheaters who are good people.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
3rd Jun '13

My best, best, best friend in the whole world cheated and it broke up her relationship (they weren't legally married, no kids, but were together for like 8 yearsish) and she's STILL my best friend in the world. she had her reasons and nobody's perfect. I'd never ditch out on a friend for that.

Vitameatavegamin 19 kids; League City, Texas 5828 posts
3rd Jun '13

Yes. I'd probably question them a lot to try to get to the root of why they did it, only to help them in the future. Cheating is a terrible thing to do to your spouse, so I'd really want to know WHY. And yes, of course I'd accompany them to church. You don't take the well to the doctor, as my DH likes to say.