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I Hate Emotions Momma Rawks 1 child; Iowa 7176 posts
2nd Jun '13

My son turned four in March. I still have a bunch of 2T and 3T clothing in his closet and dresser. He doesn't fit into them, but I just can't get rid of them. His dad (my fiance) died in 2011, and while we could use more space for his 4T and 5T clothing, I just can't find it in myself to get rid of all of the clothing that he wore when his dad was around. Same goes for toys; we have so much stuff, but I can't get over the sentimental feelings.



The plan is to just pack it up and put it in storage, but it just makes me sad to see how much he has grown since his dad died. I just feel like once I do that, I'll really be ending that chapter in our lives and it makes me feel sad.



I also tried to go through my late-fiance's stuff. But I just started crying and had to put it all back. There's sooo many things that he didn't even wear/use, but I still don't know if I'm ready to get rid of them yet. Like old clothing from a job he had before we even met, stuff he never wore or cared about, and I'm like "ahhh" just thinking about it. Obviously I don't want to get rid of everything, but I just want to keep the important things, stuff that meant something. It just feels overwhelming! But I need the space so badly--we moved from a two story home with a garage and huge basement to a small, one story place (his family kicked me out of his home, and I moved into a place I could afford--so we lost a lot of space) and now I just always feel like my home is an overcrowded disaster.



I hate emotions, and wish I could just throw this material junk out knowing that in the end it doesn't really mean anything.



I'm also having a joint garage sale with my sister next weekend and could really use some extra cash, so I was hoping I could get over this and sell some old toys/clothes/random junk. But I'm finding it hard!

Projectpaige 4 kids; Corona, California 876 posts
2nd Jun '13

I saw this idea on Pinterest of making a quilt of old shirts, maybe you could make one of fiance's shirts and one of ds's just to keep as memory. Just so they don't have to sit in storage. I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't even imagine.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
2nd Jun '13

Could you maybe take pictures so it won't seem like you got rid of them completely? I totally understand what you mean, but paying for a storage to keep things you'll never use again sounds kind of ehh'.

MotherFalcon+2 2 kids; Fólkvangr, Asgard, YD, Sweden 4601 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Projectpaige:" I saw this idea on Pinterest of making a quilt of old shirts, maybe you could make one of fiance's shirts ... [snip!] ... just to keep as memory. Just so they don't have to sit in storage. I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't even imagine."

great idea!!
my Uncle Joe had teddy bears made for our family out of my Dad's t-shirts, and they weren't washed either (werent filthy either lol) so we could smell him



This is the only time my son gets to spend with his Grandpa



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Jamie & Baby Aria 1 child; Ahmeek, Michigan 2659 posts
status 2nd Jun '13

My dad died 18 months ago, we still have his hair brush and tooth brush and everything he used in our bathroom, the way he left it. It's really hard, the other day I tried to throw it out but part of me likes seeing it there. Like if it was gone, then he's really gone. My mom tried going through his clothes, giving some to my SO and some to a free store in town. She cries every time but she's slowly getting some stuff gone. I say do it on your time, no matter what. It might seem silly to some people but it's part of the healing process. If you feel like it's a comfort or whatever to keep it, keep it. It's not going anywhere, and will still be there when you reach the point where you can let go.



Good luck and PM me if you like. I know that losing a fiance and a dad are two different things, but loss is loss and I can always listen if you want to vent or anything. <3

1inpink2inblue Switzerland 11961 posts
2nd Jun '13
Quoting Projectpaige:" I saw this idea on Pinterest of making a quilt of old shirts, maybe you could make one of fiance's shirts ... [snip!] ... just to keep as memory. Just so they don't have to sit in storage. I'm sorry you're going through this. I can't even imagine."


I was actually going to suggest this lol.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36616 posts
2nd Jun '13

Or keep a box of your sons clothing and a box your fiances stuff.



I know its hard. Its a lot of emotions. I went through something like what you are doing a few months ago. It was hard. I cried a lot. I got really mad at myself and everyone. :( I wish I had more advice for you.

thisunrest India 10364 posts
3rd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Momma Rawks:</b>" My son turned four in March. I still have a bunch of 2T and 3T clothing in his closet and dresser. He ... [snip!] ... use some extra cash, so I was hoping I could get over this and sell some old toys/clothes/random junk. But I'm finding it hard!"</blockquote>




:'-( I'm so sorry for your loss, and your son's loss.



Getting rid of my dad's things was hell on my mom, she cried through all the sorting and it was so hard for her to decide what she wanted to keep. Not many people mention it in grief-counseling in my experience, but giving away personal belongs hurts. It hurts so much. Hugs.

hi puddin 4 kids; Lawrence, Kansas 2118 posts
3rd Jun '13

make a shadow box or a quilt with a couple of outfits/shirts. My kids dad passed almost 6 years ago and his mom is just now going through his did to give to the kids. it's hard. it takes time