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my mom hates camels MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
3rd Jun '13

The end................

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 18822 posts
3rd Jun '13

HOw old are they?

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting castaway:" HOw old are they?"


My niece is 7, her sister is 9.

Caydence's mommy 4/4/09 32 kids; Las Vegas, Nevada 8474 posts
3rd Jun '13

I would have a talk with her mother and explain to her what is going on try to work towards fixing whats going on. Because you cant really tell their mom you only want to take your niece without explaining why.

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
3rd Jun '13

My kids are 4 and almost 6.

ElleBelle (33 weeks) Due September 22; 1 child; 1 angel baby; Rio Rancho, NM, United States 21636 posts
status 3rd Jun '13

What a sucky situation. It sucks you are expected to take both, like a babysitter or something. I'm sorry :(

Photo Assassin 67 kids; Louisville, Kentucky 1666 posts
3rd Jun '13

I honestly don't see going around this. You're going to either A) swallow your pride and get to know the "other sister", or B) don't see your favorite neice.



They're sisters, and one way or another, you have to come to terms wuth that. Your neice will start to realize the drift you're giving her, and do you want it to be over her sister?



I have a blended family-I know how awkward it is to include/exclude her or him because that person isn't technically related.



In the end, it is the kids that suffer.



Why don't you try taking just both of them somewhere to get aquainted with each other. Put yourself in the little girls shoes-she just got an unfamiliar family thrown at her, and she herself may feel misplaced.

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting Caydence's mommy 4/4/09:" I would have a talk with her mother and explain to her what is going on try to work towards fixing whats ... [snip!] ... towards fixing whats going on. Because you cant really tell their mom you only want to take your niece without explaining why."


I have tried explaining to her the behavior problems I have with the older daughter, and she just yells at her or punishes her, but still expects me to take her when I get my niece, and it's the same situation every time. I just don't know how to flat out say "I want to come get B, but I really can't take A with me this time"..

castaway 2 kids; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 18822 posts
3rd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting MahmuhMahmuh:</b>" My niece is 7, her sister is 9."</blockquote>



Maybe bring it all up to her in a way like... maybe (the seven year old), should come over and the (9 year old) should stay home because she doesn't seem like she is having fun. Maybe it's because she is quite a bit older than my kids, but if she isn't happy, no one else is having fun either.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42775 posts
3rd Jun '13

I think it's kind of a*****e thing to do. I'm of the opinion that family is family no matter what blood they have.



My kids have different dads and both families treat both my girls the same.

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting Photo Assassin *25weeks*:" I honestly don't see going around this. You're going to either A) swallow your pride and get to know ... [snip!] ... Put yourself in the little girls shoes-she just got an unfamiliar family thrown at her, and she herself may feel misplaced."


It's not an issue of pride. I have tried to "get to know" the older sister. I tried to include her in things, but she seriously sucks the fun out of everything I take them to do, she is constantly trying to "parent" the other kids or correct me. She is 9 and thinks she is grown, her mom has the same problems with her but that's her kid.. My brother isn't in the picture, so it's not like we're talking about his "blended family".. I was raised in a blended family, and knew that I had relatives that my half sister didn't have, and she had relatives that I don't have.. None of the older child's family have anything to do with my niece, so I don't get why I'm expected to take them both in the first place, I did it at first because I didn't want to exclude her from things, but now it's like an all the time thing, if I want to see my niece they both have to come.

Serial Mom ✄ 18 kids; Michigan 2690 posts
3rd Jun '13

I don't see why you'd have to bring the other sister. She's not even your niece. Just tell the mom you just want to have your niece over. She can get over it. I hate when parents expect you to take all their kids. Some of my daughters friend's parents are like that. I just flat out tell them that Taylor is friends with so and so, but not their sibling.

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
3rd Jun '13
Quoting Serial Mom ✄:" I don't see why you'd have to bring the other sister. She's not even your niece. Just tell the mom you ... [snip!] ... friend's parents are like that. I just flat out tell them that Taylor is friends with so and so, but not their sibling."


This is kind of where I'm at.. I feel like she sends both to use me as a babysitter for both, the older sister doesn't even like being at my house, and she makes that clear. It just makes a miserable situation for all of us.

Serial Mom ✄ 18 kids; Michigan 2690 posts
3rd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 12.21.07♥04.16.13:</b>" I think it's kind of a*****e thing to do. I'm of the opinion that family is family no matter what blood they have. My kids have different dads and both families treat both my girls the same."</blockquote>




I can see your point too, but I really don't think she should have to bring the other girl just because she wants to see her niece. My girls have different dads too. DD1s dad doesn't see her and neither does any of his family. Dd2's family has been really good about including DD1, so I really appreciate that.

Photo Assassin 67 kids; Louisville, Kentucky 1666 posts
3rd Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 12.21.07♥04.16.13:</b>" I think it's kind of a*****e thing to do. I'm of the opinion that family is family no matter what blood they have. My kids have different dads and both families treat both my girls the same."</blockquote>



Maybe pride was the wrong word, though differences eith how you feel about the other sister.



I just don't agree on excluding the other. My step daughters family includes my daughter without even asking. I suppose I haven't been in the situation of having to choose one over the other. Only thing I can offer is some things you could do alone with your neice and your sister.



Maybe trade kids for the day with their mother? Get to know them and have her get to know your kids.