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F♥K♥R 3 kids; Missouri 694 posts
status 5th Jun '13

Dh and I started dating when I was 14 and he was 16, we lost our virginities to each other at 16 and 18 and even though it is 12 years later I would be heartbroken if I found out he cheated on me even early in on the relationship. I would definitely stay because of how happy we are and have been but a lie for so long would really hurt.

that.CALIFORNIA.smile 2 kids; California 2554 posts
5th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Doctor:</b>" Yeah... but he did tell you the truth when you asked. Generally when someone lies, they aren't going ... [snip!] ... they aren't going to come out of nowhere and say "hey, so, I lied to you once." Yaknow? But I understand that it's irritating."</blockquote>




yeah. I definitely see where you're coming from. the party itself has been brought up a few times though, & her name has been brought up a few times before. I just feel maybe he did have a few opportunities. but it really isn't that big of a deal.

The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting she nan igans:" I can't wait to be an old lady. I want grandbabies to play with, and to be able to do crazy stuff and ... [snip!] ... They were best friends and ALWAYS getting into trouble. That's who I want to be. Will you be my old lady best friend? "


OMG, yes. We will be the best of friends and cause all of the old lady mayhem.



I want to have a crazy old lady grey hair braid down to my butt and wear old lady hats, and nightgowns all day. And I'm totally throwing my food at people. And maybe throw a cat at someone. Just for good measure. I already have one bad hip. :wink: I'm on my way!

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting The Doctor:" OMG, yes. We will be the best of friends and cause all of the old lady mayhem. I want to have a crazy ... [snip!] ... my food at people. And maybe throw a cat at someone. Just for good measure. I already have one bad hip. :wink: I'm on my way!"


Heck yeah! And I want to use lipstick to draw on my eyebrows. Oh I can't wait. hahah

tinana+2 TTC since Nov 2013; 2 kids; Staten Island, NY, United States 29663 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting Lady GooGoo
The Doctor 2 kids; Whiskey Dick Mountain, WA, United States 59959 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting she nan igans:" Heck yeah! And I want to use lipstick to draw on my eyebrows. Oh I can't wait. hahah"


YES. Oh. My. Goodness. I can't wait to be old with you.



Lets go shopping for obnoxiously brightly colored lipsticks. Gotta leave kissey marks on everything.

that.CALIFORNIA.smile 2 kids; California 2554 posts
5th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting tinana+2:</b>" :!: I would be disgusted. :cry:"</blockquote>



that is how I felt when I first found out. but it is wearing off now

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3314 posts
5th Jun '13

I think the fact that he clearly planned it, connived about it, and lied about it back then would bother me more than the fact they had sex. He gave you bs reasons for not wanting you at the party. His ex "just showed up". More bs. Then he tried to make himself sound all noble by saying she came onto him and he turned her down. More bs. It's unfortunate you didn't find out about the first time sooner, so you could have left his sorry ass before there was a child and marriage involved.

Colt's mommy 1 child; Moore, Oklahoma 22090 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" I think the fact that he clearly planned it, connived about it, and lied about it back then would bother ... [snip!] ... find out about the first time sooner, so you could have left his sorry ass before there was a child and marriage involved."


Well, he was a teenager and most teenagers are dumb and make mistakes. She has said that they are very happy now and he's a great father and husband, so I really see no need to put so much though into a teenagers motives.

At the same time, I see your point though since he did cheat on her multiple times (from what I understand).

Mrs.Mud 6 kids; 2 angel babies; North Dakota 3314 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting Colt's mommy:" Well, he was a teenager and most teenagers are dumb and make mistakes. She has said that they are ... [snip!] ... motives. At the same time, I see your point though since he did cheat on her multiple times (from what I understand)."


That's my point though... it wasn't just a dumb "teenage mistake". It was clearly thought out and planned. It just shows a very shady side to his character that I wouldn't like or trust, especially considering he cheated on her multiple times since.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" That's my point though... it wasn't just a dumb "teenage mistake". It was clearly thought out and planned. ... [snip!] ... very shady side to his character that I wouldn't like or trust, especially considering he cheated on her multiple times since."


No, it can still be a dumb teenager. Teens ARE dumb, at least a little. They haven't matured. Just because a teenager things that dating someone is no big deal and cheats on her doesn't mean that, as a husband and man later, he won't have realized he was an idiot.



I did things as a teenager I am not proud of. It was who I was THEN and I've grown up and changed a lot since then. I think you're going WAY overboard.

mom of three 3 kids; Missouri 6192 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting Mrs.Mud:" That's my point though... it wasn't just a dumb "teenage mistake". It was clearly thought out and planned. ... [snip!] ... very shady side to his character that I wouldn't like or trust, especially considering he cheated on her multiple times since."


Although I totally understand were your coming from, at the same time, I know that I have done a LOT of stupid things as a teenager (never cheated though), I have to think that I hope that my character of who I am now is not being judged by what I did YEARS ago... you know?

Simply, Mom 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Upland, 11735 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting she nan igans:" No, it can still be a dumb teenager. Teens ARE dumb, at least a little. They haven't matured. Just because ... [snip!] ... I am not proud of. It was who I was THEN and I've grown up and changed a lot since then. I think you're going WAY overboard. "


just a little lol.



I hope to GOD my teenage years are not repeated by my children lol.



and I am so thankful everyday I am not her anymore lol

Nae&Zoe's Mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Red Deer, Alberta 665 posts
5th Jun '13

I would be super pissed if my husband one day decided to tell me that he slept with some other chick the day after we started a relationship. I get where you girls are coming from and I dont think its worth breaking up over. However keeping up a lie for 4 years is just wrong. Cheating is cheating doesnt matter if it was a a month a go or 5 years from now. It is what it is. For me Id be questioning what else he's hidden from me.

_______Nope_________ 23772 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting Nae&Zoe's Mommy:" I would be super pissed if my husband one day decided to tell me that he slept with some other chick ... [snip!] ... matter if it was a a month a go or 5 years from now. It is what it is. For me Id be questioning what else he's hidden from me."


See, I disagree. If my husband cheated 10 years ago when we first got together, that means there were issues THEN. If he cheated on my a week ago, that means there are issues NOW. There is a difference because cheating shows a serious problem with the relationship. There was barely a relationship at all at that point, and it sounds like he cheated a number of times after that, so I would put it ALL in the category of "in the past" and dealt with and accepted.