It can hurt to find out that you were lied to...even if it has been 4 years! As long as he's being faithful now, and you haven't caught him in other lies, maybe you can forgive this one? However, if you find he's still having problems telling you the truth or being faithful, I would seriously consider marriage counseling. A trained therapist might be able to help you work through any problems that remain in your marriage. Hopefully that's not the case. Blessings to you!
Quoting K18:" <blockquote><b>Quoting that.CALIFORNIA.smile
<blockquote><b>Quoting 18 weeks with #3!:</b>" Didnt she say *Don't quote*??"</blockquote>
:roll: As if that actually matters. You can tell exactly what she's talking about by reading any of the other comments.
Quoting she nan igans:" See, I disagree. If my husband cheated 10 years ago when we first got together, that means there were ... [snip!] ... he cheated a number of times after that, so I would put it ALL in the category of "in the past" and dealt with and accepted. "
I can totally see your point, but does it make it right if your husband cheats on you now and you dont find out about it till 5 years from now... Just because he was good at hiding it doesnt make it okay. That was the point I was trying to make. I get for them it was at the begining of the relationship but it still does not make it okay and it doesnt make it okay to lie about it for so long.
Quoting Nae&Zoe's Mommy:" I can totally see your point, but does it make it right if your husband cheats on you now and you dont ... [snip!] ... at the begining of the relationship but it still does not make it okay and it doesnt make it okay to lie about it for so long."
I don't think anyone said it was right for him to do it. It has more to do with picking your battles. In this case they had a rocky start, he cheated other times, she's forgiven him and they've moved on. The fact that there was a time that she did nto know about doesn't suddenly make them not past it, you know? Not to mention, with the way he said it so casually, perhaps he didn't realize she didn't know already. As in, maybe he hasn't been "lying" about it, or even thought about it, in a very long time.
Quoting she nan igans:" I don't think anyone said it was right for him to do it. It has more to do with picking your battles. ... [snip!] ... realize she didn't know already. As in, maybe he hasn't been "lying" about it, or even thought about it, in a very long time."
Very true, totally understand you girls point of view. I think for me Id feel betrayed, not that Id end the relationship unless he kept doing things and told me again a few years down the road.
that would really piss me off. plain and simple. if he took my virginity..something that is supposed to be special and then the next time just fucked someone else like it was nothing...idk. I'd be really hurt.
What the f**k? I'd probably be upset with him for a day or two. That's something you just don't hide, specially since you said you've brought up the past so many times. Which is also kind of odd because of how he just came out & told you. Was he drunk or something? Thinking about it, I probably would feel really hurt. He had a lot of opportunities to come clean to you, yet he didn't.