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lise ♡ 1 child; 1 angel baby; Cold, Ol, Canada 66247 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" oh i know that im just trying to get what i can writen out. ya of course theres that chance he wont ... [snip!] ... to have something . i am going to end it this week. i have my sister & her bf to help me on Saturday after SO & i talk."


Maybe instead of leaving him in the dark, you should be honest with him. I'm sure if you sat down and were straight forward honest of everything, I'm sure he'd understand.



BD and I split on a Sunday, within a week, we had sat down and wrote out our agreement and the following week we put it through the courts. It's simple. But once he sees you have something wrote out, he may flip and make it hell.

Bonnie Beaver♥ Due April 8; 2 kids; North Pole, Alaska 18310 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting Princess SassPants ෆ:" Unfortunately, nothing can prepare you for custody agreements unless both parties are compliant and ... [snip!] ... being over. You may have it all settled in your head, but who says his father will want the same? He could make it difficult."


This. You can't just choose by yourself. You have to come to an understanding. And if that doesn't happen, you will have to go to court and they will send you to mediators to help decide.

☠BryBry'sMuM☠ Due March 19 (girl); 1 child; Fullerton, California 15229 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting *Mayhem*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:</b>" i have one writen out already ... [snip!] ... order telling you otherwise do not let him take LO. My sister didn't see her dad for 3 mos after my mom left for this reason."


omg im so sorry for your sister! =(
wait so i either need a custody agreement signed by us both or a court one in order to get my son back correct?
i have to make sure i understand clearly.

☠BryBry'sMuM☠ Due March 19 (girl); 1 child; Fullerton, California 15229 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting Princess SassPants ෆ:" Maybe instead of leaving him in the dark, you should be honest with him. I'm sure if you sat down and ... [snip!] ... week we put it through the courts. It's simple. But once he sees you have something wrote out, he may flip and make it hell."


oh okay thank you! see im glad i made this thread! im so in the dark ladies.

user banned 21 kids; North Dakota 3800 posts
5th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:</b>" omg im so sorry for your sister! =( wait so i either need a custody agreement signed by us both or a court one in order to get my son back correct? i have to make sure i understand clearly."</blockquote>




It honestly depends on your state. I'll look. If I were you I'd contact a lawyer in your state.

☠BryBry'sMuM☠ Due March 19 (girl); 1 child; Fullerton, California 15229 posts
5th Jun '13
☠BryBry'sMuM☠ Due March 19 (girl); 1 child; Fullerton, California 15229 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting *Mayhem*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:</b>" omg im so sorry for your sister! ... [snip!] ... It honestly depends on your state. I'll look. If I were you I'd contact a lawyer in your state."


true evey state is different

☠BryBry'sMuM☠ Due March 19 (girl); 1 child; Fullerton, California 15229 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting Legendary Bonnie Beaver:" Here's just one site I found real fast: http://www.courts.ca.gov/selfhelp-custody.htm And; http://singleparents.about.com/od/localchildsupporthelp/a/california_child_custody_laws.htm"


thanks!!
is there a way you can just paste it in here instead adding the link?



Bonnie Beaver♥ Due April 8; 2 kids; North Pole, Alaska 18310 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" thanks!! is there a way you can just paste it in here instead adding the link? "


Child Custody in California



Familiarize Yourself With Child Custody Laws in the State of California




From Debrina Washington



See More About





California family courts consider a number of factors before granting a parent either sole custody or joint custody. Parents who wish to file for child custody in California should first become familiar with the child custody laws in California.
Related: Help our readers by sharing your experience with child custody in California.
Factors Considered When Determining Child Custody in California



  • The best interests of the child
  • Which parent is more likely to encourage frequent visits with the other parent
  • Child's wishes, which are only considered if the child is of a certain age and maturity level (generally over age 12)
  • History of domestic violence
  • History of drug use


Parent v. Third Party Custodian




A California court will grant custody to a third-party, non-parent, if it decides that:



  • The child will be in danger or subject to harm in the care of a parent, and
  • Granting custody to a third-party custodian will serve the best interests of the child


Drug Testing and Child Custody Proceedings




A California family court can order a parent or third party seeking custody or visitation of a child to undergo a drug test for illegal drug use, prior to making a custody determination. However, a positive result will not necessarily mean that the parent will not be granted custody, but it will be considered as a factor along with other evidence of the parent or third party's character.
The court will also consider a drug conviction in the past five years, or evidence of frequent drug use, before making determination about custody and/or visitation.
Domestic Violence in Child Custody Proceedings




In California, if a parent has a history of domestic violence against the child's other parent, the child, or the child's siblings, the court would prefer not to grant custody to that parent. However, a court will consider the following:



  • Whether the accused parent has successfully completed a batterer's treatment program
  • Whether the accused parent has successfully completed a parenting class
  • Whether there is an order of protection in place, to protect the victim
  • Whether the accused has committed any further acts of domestic violence


The California family courts prefer to offer shared custody to both parents because the court deems joint custody to be in the best interests of the child. For more information about child custody in California, consult with a qualified attorney in California or read the California Family Code.

☠BryBry'sMuM☠ Due March 19 (girl); 1 child; Fullerton, California 15229 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting Legendary Bonnie Beaver:" Child Custody in California Familiarize Yourself With Child Custody Laws in the State of California ... [snip!] ... about child custody in California, consult with a qualified attorney in California or read the California Family Code."



thank you very much!

lise ♡ 1 child; 1 angel baby; Cold, Ol, Canada 66247 posts
5th Jun '13
Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" oh okay thank you! see im glad i made this thread! im so in the dark ladies."


Just approach it all calm, state your reasonings for seperating and let him absorb it all. I wouldn't rush too fast into the custody issue. BD and I knew it had to be done, but we gave ourselves each a couple days to settle down from splitting before settling on our custody agreement. You both need to be of sound, calm mind and not have anger to overtake you and be selfish in your wants.



Good luck!

mom2andrew&carter 18 kids; Leesburg, Florida 2159 posts
5th Jun '13

my kids father usually picks them up thursday night and brings them back saturday night thats how our schedule has been working lately

☠BryBry'sMuM☠ Due March 19 (girl); 1 child; Fullerton, California 15229 posts
5th Jun '13

Thank you! that means a lot!
this will help very much!! thanks again

user banned 3 kids; Lincoln, Alabama 10353 posts
5th Jun '13

I sent you a message