My angel Mackenzie was stillborn June 15 2011. We were due July 22nd. I just found out that I am pregnant again and I am extremely scared. Just wondering how many mothers have gotten their "rainbow" baby after their angel? And how did your pregnancy go? What did u do differently?
Quoting Tasha Gehrt:" My angel Mackenzie was stillborn June 15 2011. We were due July 22nd. I just found out that I am pregnant ... [snip!] ... how many mothers have gotten their "rainbow" baby after their angel? And how did your pregnancy go? What did u do differently?"
My first baby boy was stillborn in may 2007 @23 weeks. I got pregnant again in september/october 07. It was faster than expected since i had had fertility issues before. My second son was born at just about 40 weeks. 7lbs 13oz. Totally normal.
The things i did differently .... Just about everything. I didn't know with my first pregnancy that I had an incompetent cervix. Second pregnancy I did bedrest, meds to keep contractions away, surgery to place cerclage, etc. It was just completely different. i was also seen by a high risk dr every 2 weeks, actually it was once a week, but that was more for my mental health than actual necessity.
For mental health issues .. like anxiety... I was seeing a shrink once a week too and going on line for support groups. Be honest with your dr's. Let them know if there is a way they can work with you to help keep you calmer during the pregnancy. A good dr will be willing to work with you.
It's not easy being pregnant again. In fact, in some ways, i think my second pregnancy was much harder than the 1st because i knew what could happen. Ultimately what helped the most was time. Once my now 5 year old son was here, it was easier to move past all of the trauma and stress of it all because I knew it could also end positively too.
Good luck OP. I hope you have a long boring pregnancy. :)
I have never had a stillborn baby, but have suffered multiple miscarriages. first thing that helped me was get an OB you feel very comfortable with. Having a trusted doctor/midwife can really ease fears. Take the best care of yourself as possible. And above all relax. Hopefully you have a good support system, but if you don't try to establish one. You may be surprised who turns out to be there for you. Best of luck mama!
Thank you both! I guess I'm just super scared bc the worst that could happen has happened. Time for some good relaxation then! :D
My first daughter was born at 22.3 weeks and passed away 34 minutes later.
I had a healthy baby girl in October 2010 at 39 weeks.
and another healthy baby girl 4 weeks ago also at 39 weeks.
What I did differently:
Took better care of myself, saw an OB throughout both pregnancies, and had more support.
Basicly what the other ladies said. but truthfully, the anxiety never went away for me. I was terrified both times that the outcome would be like the first time. and only having them in my arms eased that fear.
I'm very sorry for your loss momma. Do they know why that happened? This may also be able to prevent future tragedy.
You can see a high risk doctor, take perfect care of yourself, ETC. but sometimes those things just happen anyway and no one knows why.
Best of luck.
First i am so sorry on your loss but congrats on the new exciting news of being pregnant. Our rainbow baby was born may 3rd 2012. Our daughter was stillborn at fullterm july 17th 2010. Our pregnancy with our son (rainbow baby) was normal other than lots of more appointments near the end and ultrasounds. I was nervous as ever starting at 1/2-3/4 way through the pregnancy. He almost didnt make it and came almost 3 weeks early but i was not told it was from my previous stillbirth. It was tough. I went to hospice and spoke to a counselor just incase, but i stopped going before i had our son. Make sure you ask all the questions in the world. I had an amazing midwife who i seen with two previous pregnancies as well and i apologized if i was annoying her with all my worries and questions but she did not care what bit, thats what they are there for. I wish you the best of luck and please release your emotions along the way, you are bound to have them and that is ok. You need to do that for the child you loss and for yourself :)
I had a I had a stillborn at 23 weeks and three days. I had a miscarriage for years later and a year after that I gave birth to my dd nine days overdue on December 24th, 2012. I hope the absolute best for you and I'm terribly sorry for your loss. It's okay to be scared. I wouldn't even look at my u/s for dd until I was far into my second trimester. Pm me of you ever need to talk.
Sorry for all the typos, I hate, hate, HATE this phone.
My daughter was stillborn May 13th, 2012 at 39 weeks. I got pregnant 5 months later and I am now 34 weeks pregnant with my rainbow. It is not an easy ride, like you said...you know the worst that can happened and it has happened to us so that is always in the back of my mind. It's not fun and exciting like it should be. I was most anxious in the beginning and now towards the end. My biggest advice is to find an awesome doctor. I have by docs cell phone and pager and he does everything he can to put my mind at ease. I have NSTs 2x a week and u/s checks at one of them to check fluid levels. Also, do not be afraid to be assertive. I ask what I need to ask even if it sounds "dumb." I went in to L and D once when I felt he wasn't moving. Anything to get your baby here healthy. I also recommend staying busy. I teach preschool so work kept my mind busy and helped days go by fast. Now I am off for summer vacation and it's going by a little slower. Good luck to you and your pregnancy...I know it's hard!!! PM me if you want to talk! I have a few friends having their rainbows and it helps so much to have someone to talk to and share fears with!
I'm so sorry for what you have been through. My 3 miscarriages were horrible but I still couldn't imagine what you went through. We had our rainbow baby last year. After losing three I was certain we would lose her too and just tried to take the best care of myself I could while still trying to prepare myself for the worst. I ate better and exercised, I waited to buy anything until we were at 24 weeks, just in case. And I know it will sound strange but I prayed, a lot. I am not exactly a religious person, I believe more in finding something you believe on a spiritual level and holding on to it with everything you have. I believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, even the horrible things that don't seem to make any sense. And so I just prayed over and over that it was finally our time to hold one of our babies. I think that holding on to my belief that what ever happened was what was suppose to happen kept the anxiety at bay. We all know that stress is horrible for pregnancy and it was one of the things that kept my stress down. I also relaxed a lot more. I am a doer. I spend a lot of time working non-profit and am always on the go. I just slowed down and took plenty of time to rest. I don't know what helped the most but thankfully it worked out this time. I hope it works out honey, just take care of yourself and find what works to keep your fear and anxiety at bay.