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user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
5th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kr:):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:</b>" f**k him. He's sick doesn't appreciate ... [snip!] ... daddy all he does is yell" it broke my heart. Im sure sos mom would help him but he hates his mom so idk if he would let her."</blockquote>



Again, not your problem. He's a big boy and he'll either figure it out or he won't. But he is not your responsibility. Your responsibility is your and your sons well being. And being in an abuse household is not good for you or LO. How are you going to feel when in 15,20,25 years LO grows up to be like his dad? Because that's what he learned was okay?

kr:) 1 child; Texas 5309 posts
5th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kr:):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ... [snip!] ... LO. How are you going to feel when in 15,20,25 years LO grows up to be like his dad? Because that's what he learned was okay?"</blockquote>




Id blame myself if lo acted like his dad..
Thats my biggest fear..

kr:) 1 child; Texas 5309 posts
5th Jun '13

I just dont want to be looked at like some horrible person who left him when he needed help.. nobody but family knows how he treats me..

user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
6th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kr:):</b>" I just dont want to be looked at like some horrible person who left him when he needed help.. nobody but family knows how he treats me.."</blockquote>




You have to live your life for you. Nobody else is in your shoes. And, if they judge you based on not knowing the full story- good riddance.

kr:) 1 child; Texas 5309 posts
6th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kr:):</b>" I just dont want to be looked at like some horrible ... [snip!] ... your life for you. Nobody else is in your shoes. And, if they judge you based on not knowing the full story- good riddance."</blockquote>




Thats true..



Iv fighted so hard for my family. Its gonna be extremely hard to let it go. I just wish SO would change but I guess its clear he wont..

ρiηkie ρie 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Kentucky 21902 posts
6th Jun '13

He sounds like a giant dick. His illness is not an excuse to treat you like shit. You and your kiddo deserve more than that. He's also not your responsibility, he is a grown man. If you leave and he doesn't take care of himself, that's on him. Not you. Don't take this the wrong way, but if he grew up learning this was an acceptable way to treat women, what do you think your son is learning? The same damn thing. I'd leave his ass high and dry. If other people want to judge you, tell them to kiss your ass because they don't know the whole story.

kr:) 1 child; Texas 5309 posts
6th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ρiηkie ρie:</b>" He sounds like a giant dick. His illness is not an excuse to treat you like shit. You and your kiddo ... [snip!] ... his ass high and dry. If other people want to judge you, tell them to kiss your ass because they don't know the whole story. "</blockquote>




I honestly expected to hear that im a selfish b***h.. lol
Hearing from all of you that I should leave is kinda hard to take in. :/ if I leave him thats it. There wont be anymore back and forth my sons old enough to know whats going on.. and the though of us beinf over for good.. is heart breaking to me. Which makes no sense because im not happy. But hes all I know :(

user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
6th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kr:):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ρiηkie ρie:</b>" He sounds like a giant dick. ... [snip!] ... though of us beinf over for good.. is heart breaking to me. Which makes no sense because im not happy. But hes all I know :("</blockquote>



You're young. You can learn something new. If you do get the courage to leave I would encourage counseling so you can get some tools to avoid getting in another abuse relationship, since those type of guys will be familiar.

kr:) 1 child; Texas 5309 posts
6th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting kr:):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ρiηkie ... [snip!] ... counseling so you can get some tools to avoid getting in another abuse relationship, since those type of guys will be familiar."</blockquote>




Thank you :)
If/when I leave I have a lot to get in order first I have to find a job, a house I dont have family to help..

user banned 3 kids; Washington 15083 posts
6th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting kr:):</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♫ boobook ♫:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... Thank you :) If/when I leave I have a lot to get in order first I have to find a job, a house I dont have family to help.."</blockquote>



Set a goal and work toward it.

ρiηkie ρie 3 kids; 3 angel babies; Kentucky 21902 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting kr:):" <blockquote><b>Quoting ρiηkie ρie:</b>" He sounds like a giant dick. ... [snip!] ... though of us beinf over for good.. is heart breaking to me. Which makes no sense because im not happy. But hes all I know :("

It's easy to want to stay where things are familiar for fear of the unknown. But mama, it sounds like you've been trying to fix things for a long long time and it's getting you nowhere. There's no sense beating a dead horse. You can't make him change no matter how hard you try. How long are you willing to put up with being miserable? 5 more years? 10? 20? Because that's the real question. I wouldn't want to wake up years down the road just to realize it's all been wasted years. You're young. Get out while you're ahead. Take some time to learn to love yourself and enjoy your little man. It might be scary at first, but you can do it and honestly, I think you'd be a lot happier for it. Just my .2 cents.

kr:) 1 child; Texas 5309 posts
6th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting ρiηkie ρie:</b>" It's easy to want to stay where things are familiar for fear of the unknown. But mama, it sounds like ... [snip!] ... man. It might be scary at first, but you can do it and honestly, I think you'd be a lot happier for it. Just my .2 cents. "</blockquote>



Thank you so much.

Nae&Zoe's Mommy 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Red Deer, Alberta 618 posts
6th Jun '13

Hun you dont have to feel bad for wanting to leave. You are NOT your SO slave... I understand to an extent because my husband is also very ill. I do alot for him like you do for you SO. But that doesnt mean that he gets you to do everything then b***hes at you on top of it and isnt supporting you also at these stressful times. I understand that he is moody because he's stressed out and scared but that still doesnt give him the right to treat you like shit and talk down to you. He needs a reality check and trust me I've had to give them to my husband too. Straight up tell him, if I wasnt here what would you do.. My husband always responds Id be lost or dead.. And I always respond "well then you better appreciate me, respect me and remember my worth". If he doesnt see how much you do for him, walk out that door hunny!

how khuntastik 4 kids; California 1273 posts
6th Jun '13

IMO you should look into getting into counselling right now, so that you can have someone firmly in your corner, to help you make the best decisions for you and little ones life.
I wish i would have made the same decision before i married my so, because i am afraid i did it because he's better then the rest, but it is still not that healthy of a relationship.
Good luck.
You are in no way selfish if you stay or leave, but neither of you sound happy.

Gosloving 1 child; Washington 12831 posts
7th Jun '13

I felt bad for him up until you started writing about how much of an a*****e he is.If you're not happy and he's not putting any effort into the relationship and into making you happy seeing how good of a woman you are being to him. Leave. Leave and have no regret nor guilt over it.