My SO cheated in the beginning of our relationship. I forgave him and hes become the best person to me ever. We are all human and all make mistakes and fall into temptation at times when we know its wrong. No one is perfect. OP if you feel your marriage is worth saving go for it. Marriage is for better or for worse. This is the worse right now. Im sure youll make whatever decision is best for you and your family.
Quoting Misslidabet:" Im 18 weeks pregnant and my partner cheatd on me, we also have 2 other children together. He did it while ... [snip!] ... want to be with him. Im at a loss, i know he needs to be punished at least for what hes done. Im so confused, please help
There is no excuse for what he has done, i only found out about it because he was acting sus and i just had a feeling otherwise i prob wouldn't know. I can't live with him anymore and i won't allow myself to be abused and betrayed in such a way. While he was out screwing some b***h i was home looking after his children andcarrying his baby and as much as i try i just can't get past that. i don't know if i will forgive him and this might not be the end but for now i need to be alone and i need to be strong and i need him to know that this behaviour is just not acceptable and i won't stand for it no matter how much its going to hurt to be alone pregnant at least i have my beautiful children to keep me happy.
Quoting Rumpelstiltskin:" :!: Kids learn what love is from their parents. "
I learnt from my Grandparents, they were so in love and i admired them and i won't settle for anything less
I find it kind of sad that people are so quick to throw in the divorce card. I guess, that's why now a days more and more relationship fall apart. Yes, he cheated and no I'm not saying that what he did is right, I am not justifying his actions and am not saying that I understand why he did it but we are human. Sometimes we f**k up, really bad, hurt people we love & regret it a lot.
Yet, you have kids. Do you think it's worth breaking your family up over this. Have you talked it over with him? You're in a very sticky situation but it can be fixable.
What does he say? Does he apologize? Does he promise to never do it again? Do you trust he'll never do it again? Does he say he loves you? Do you believe him? Do you love him? Can you move on from this? Can you forgive him for it? Can you go to counseling? Etc. Etc.
I think that before you decide to break up with him & make it official you should try and do everything in your power to fix it. Not just for your kids but for the sake of your family. I mean, it's obvious that you love him dearly.
DH cheated on me when DD was six months old. I felt hurt, betrayed and couldn't believe he did that to me because he was the one person whom I trusted and loved with all of my heart. I ended up forgiving him, we moved past it and almost four years later I am the happiest woman I've ever been. I believe we wouldn't be who we are now nor be where we are at if we didn't have each other. Till this day I am very thankful that my best friend talked me into giving him a second chance.
I don't care how long I've been married, I could never get over that. And I wouldn't expect my husband to forgive me for something like that either.
I've been shitfaced puking drunk and still would NEVER cheat on my husband.
I think people forgive shit too easy.. I value myself and my happiness too much to be with someone that would do that to me.
Quoting Minion:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sarah Curtsinger:</b>" people are so quick to say oh end your ... [snip!] ... Nope. I don't care if you were never at home or not. He had no reason to cheat. Any NORMAL human being wouldn't cheat. Ever."
Not true and please define normal? To the OP..if you continue to stay with him and will continue to cheat on you. Hopefully you can find your own place. YOU don't need him but the kids still do. Please don't be one of those immature vendicitve women who use the children as pawns. Seriously moms and dads who do that could careless about their kids.
Quoting mamaluvsher4babies:" Not true and please define normal? To the OP..if you continue to stay with him and will continue to ... [snip!] ... immature vendicitve women who use the children as pawns. Seriously moms and dads who do that could careless about their kids."
Yes it is true. If someone was totally faithful to their SO they would never cheat.
Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" Yes it is true. If someone was totally faithful to their SO they would never cheat. "
well ya lol..still has nothing to do with normal lol
Quoting Now and Forever:" I find it kind of sad that people are so quick to throw in the divorce card. I guess, that's why now ... [snip!] ... if we didn't have each other. Till this day I am very thankful that my best friend talked me into giving him a second chance. "
I am not throwing everything away, he did it to our family. But he needs to see that im serious, that i will never put up with this so he needs to move out so i can clear my head and he can see what it's like to be single, if he loves me he will prove it to me every day, he will stop at nothing to win me back and he will have to earn my trust again. Of corse he's sorry, but that doesn't change anything, i know he loves me but that's not enough obviously or he wouldn't of done it. he needs to seriously think about what hes put me through and show me not tell me how sorry he actually is. Then maybe i might give him a second chance, but if he can't prove it to me, if i feel i cant trust him then i can't see a future for us. I don't want my kids to grow up in a broken home nor do i want them to grow up with a jealous paranoid mother who cant trust their father.
<blockquote><b>Quoting Misslidabet:</b>" I am not throwing everything away, he did it to our family. But he needs to see that im serious, that ... [snip!] ... my kids to grow up in a broken home nor do i want them to grow up with a jealous paranoid mother who cant trust their father."</blockquote>
Yep. There's a difference between truly sorry and sorry he got caught. :)
SO and I hit a rough patch a little over a year ago. I broke it off with him and not long after he came to me crying and saying how sorry he was and he realized it was all him, etc. we got back together and we're actually better now than in the 3 years prior to the breakup.
Quoting Sarah Curtsinger:" people are so quick to say oh end your marriage....my husband cheated...yep he was a cheater....and we ... [snip!] ... he was starting his practice and getting our lives in order...so things like this can be worked through...it does happen..."
.if you love him you fight for your marriage...
Well not everyone feels the same. Personally, I say f**k that, if you love someone you don't cheat on them. I'd leave and I wouldn't blame anyone else who did either.
Quoting Yurvette [♥]:" You went to therapy? & he said the root of the problem was you are never home? Im sorry but the ... [snip!] ... on the one who was faithful is unhealthy... And I would not stay with him after me blamed ME for the reason why he cheated. "
Agreed. You don't fix your marriage by going outside of it. Cheating essentially cancels out any complaints you have against your partner imo. If you have a problem, fix it. Don't go sleep with someone else.
Quoting Minion:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Misslidabet:</b>" I am not throwing everything away, he did ... [snip!] ... it was all him, etc. we got back together and we're actually better now than in the 3 years prior to the breakup. Good luck!"
My first reaction would be kicking him out on his arse. But I think after the initial shock and hurt was gone, I'd try to find out why he did it and figure out if I could trust him again and see if we could work it out.