I think we actually broke up this morning.
I'm alot more upset than I really thought I would be.
If you read my previous posts about my relationship you will understand.
I really thought I was ready and had plenty of reasons to want it over and now that it is my brain is being a b***h!!!
Now it decides to forget all the bad shit that happened to make me want to end it and is just shoving all the good times right in my face and making me feel like i've made a mistake.
I hate this feeling.
It will get better sweetie. I still have those days where my brain wants to be stupid and forget all the horrible things and just only wants to shove the happy times in my face.
When you don't have a person and you get that heart sinking feeling that, not only are you lonely, but you're going to BE lonely until you're over this person, it's so easy to remember all of the good times and diminish the bad.
If you had a reason to want this, then I'm sure it's still a valid reason. Hold it out, because you don't deserve a relationship with any doubts, honey.
He was just a lazy inconsiderate jerk.
but he loved me
and we had a laugh lol
I'm gonna re-read my post where I wrote everything lol
I hate hate hate this!!!!
but it only happened today so I need to take time =[
I've been in a lot of abusive relationships, and not too long ago I was just in a relationship I didn't want to be in. He didn't lie to me. He didn't hit me. He didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do. I felt like such a p***e o* s**t, because he was a nice guy, and I should have been satisfied. I felt so guilty after that,like I'd ruined my chances at ever finding another good guy.
But the relationship wasn't what I wanted and it wasn't really working. I needed something different. Not better, just different.
If your relationship isn't what you need and you've tried getting him to see that, then you deserve to go get what you do need. You don't owe anybody except yourself.
Quoting The Andromeda Strain:" I've been in a lot of abusive relationships, and not too long ago I was just in a relationship I didn't ... [snip!] ... and you've tried getting him to see that, then you deserve to go get what you do need. You don't owe anybody except yourself. "
He would say hurtful things
and like on my birthday he ran to the corner shop to get me a card. no present that was it. and didnt understand why I was upset.
just stupid shit like that but after four years I'm sick of it.