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Visitation? JackieClark Japan 5 posts
6th Jun '13

Hi I'm new here. I'm hoping this is the right place to post this.



I have two questions. If you have physical custody and the other parent has visits who provides transportation? My daughter's dad lives 45 minutes away.



If your child is younger do you loan out their car seat or request they get their own?

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting JackieClark:" Hi I'm new here. I'm hoping this is the right place to post this. I have two questions. If you have ... [snip!] ... daughter's dad lives 45 minutes away. If your child is younger do you loan out their car seat or request they get their own?"


We meet half way, before he lived out of state we alternated transportation, I'd bring him the kids, he's bring them home. I requested he get his own carseat, but he bought car seats that were inappropriate for our kids at the time, so I would lend him mine, it's seriously silly to fight about, it's for the child, to keep them safe. I don't care who buys it, as long as the kid is in one.

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 20543 posts
6th Jun '13

My DDs family and I meet halfway because they live four hours away. Anytime her Daddy comes for a visit (he's military, and lives 3hrs away the opposite direction) he always comes alllllll the way here. Even when I've offered to meet him halfway. I used to loan them my seat, until they got one of their own because they didn't feel like mine was "cushy" enough. I was not offended at ALL, they are the ones spending the money lol. They have even offered to give me the seat for her use here (they really hate my seat which is hilarious because it's actually pretty comfy) but I declined lol.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
6th Jun '13

The more you work together the better. If the agreement doesn't specify transportation, you both need to compromise. If you're not going to need the car seat when the baby is gone, let the other parent borrow it.



The more you work with the other parent, the easier and better things will go for the child in the middle.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
6th Jun '13

Im not sure about transportation. I would guess it would be a mutual agreement as to what works best for those involved. As for car seats it would depend on how often they would have the child. Once in a while I would just transfer mine over and install it myself. Someone that would have them a lot I would ask that they get their own (or provide one myself) Then I would either install myself or confirm that they have had it inspected by a car seat tech.

JackieClark Japan 5 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting Red Bottom:" The more you work together the better. If the agreement doesn't specify transportation, you both need ... [snip!] ... parent borrow it. The more you work with the other parent, the easier and better things will go for the child in the middle."



The only issue is I'm babysitting my friend's two year old this weekend and his mom sends him with a backless booster which is unsafe and illegal. If my daughter is gone I want to use her seat for him.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting JackieClark:" The only issue is I'm babysitting my friend's two year old this weekend and his mom sends him with ... [snip!] ... his mom sends him with a backless booster which is unsafe and illegal. If my daughter is gone I want to use her seat for him."

I would tell your friend to provide you with a safe legal seat or her child wont be riding in your car. obviously use the seat if you can but if your daughter needs her seat then yea.

JackieClark Japan 5 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting Jennybananna:" I would tell your friend to provide you with a safe legal seat or her child wont be riding in your car. obviously use the seat if you can but if your daughter needs her seat then yea."



I've told her that and sent her links about what seats are the safest for different ages. I HAVE to go somewhere while I have him. I want things to be easy with her dad but I want him to be safe too.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting JackieClark:" I've told her that and sent her links about what seats are the safest for different ages. I HAVE to ... [snip!] ... different ages. I HAVE to go somewhere while I have him. I want things to be easy with her dad but I want him to be safe too. "

Make sure your child has a safe seat. If that means letting her dad take her seat than so be it. Tell your friend since you have places to go that she can either provide you with a legal seat or you cannot watch her child are you are not willing to take on the liability.

misanthrope 2 kids; Ramona, California 15431 posts
6th Jun '13

We split driving 50/50. He has his own carseats for the children.

Ladee+Grant+Lilly 2 kids; Tallahassee, FL, United States 20543 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting JackieClark:" I've told her that and sent her links about what seats are the safest for different ages. I HAVE to ... [snip!] ... different ages. I HAVE to go somewhere while I have him. I want things to be easy with her dad but I want him to be safe too. "


Honestly...if your child's father doesn't have a seat and needs yours I'd send it. I'd then inform your friend if she insists on sending that booster, if you get a ticket she is paying it. But I wouldn't put strain on my parenting relationship just because you're doing your friend a favor and she is too irresponsible to get a correct seat. My child, and the parenting relationship that will affect him/her, would be more important to me.

MahmuhMahmuh 3 kids; Wichita, Kansas 6706 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting Jennybananna:" Make sure your child has a safe seat. If that means letting her dad take her seat than so be it. Tell ... [snip!] ... she can either provide you with a legal seat or you cannot watch her child are you are not willing to take on the liability. "


This! My baby comes first, no matter where they are.

JackieClark Japan 5 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting Jennybananna:" Make sure your child has a safe seat. If that means letting her dad take her seat than so be it. Tell ... [snip!] ... she can either provide you with a legal seat or you cannot watch her child are you are not willing to take on the liability. "



I sent her a message saying I need her car seat and I can't drive him around with an unsafe and illegal seat. I sent her links about car seat safety again. I told her they have cheap ones at Wal-Mart and I can pick up one for her before I pick him up if she can pay me back.



Otherwise I will have to try and borrow one from my neighbor but I don't want to because I don't know the seats history

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting JackieClark:" I sent her a message saying I need her car seat and I can't drive him around with an unsafe and illegal ... [snip!] ... Otherwise I will have to try and borrow one from my neighbor but I don't want to because I don't know the seats history "

Good for you for knowing the laws and sticking your ground. Its a tough spot but I have the same rule. All children in my car will be in a legal safe seat or they will not be in my car.

Red Bottom 2 kids; Middelfart, Denmark 15275 posts
6th Jun '13
Quoting JackieClark:" The only issue is I'm babysitting my friend's two year old this weekend and his mom sends him with ... [snip!] ... his mom sends him with a backless booster which is unsafe and illegal. If my daughter is gone I want to use her seat for him."


Should your daughter miss out on time with her father because you're babysitting?