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please do not enter Young Native Mama 2 kids; 2 angel babies; San Jacinto, California 129 posts
7th Jun '13

So its getting close to having baby boy and my SO and I were talking about when we tell our family when its time, my SO said hes going to tell his mom as soon as I need to go in thats all well and fine, BUT she is trying to be in the room as I am laboring and delivering.. I honestly do not want her in there while im in labor.. I let my SO know that I dont want anyone but him in there, if I am going to have a natural birth I'd like some peace and quiet so I can be able to concentrate on breathing through my contractions, and his mom is not the quietest person.. With both my SILs she was in their room taking pictures through their contractions and asking them questions and distracting her sons from my SILs.. I told my SO as many of our family can come in after I have baby but not before and he thinks im being totally mean and disrespectful... Im seriously not trying to be, I would just like to go thru labor concentrating, and as relaxed as possible, not with a lady and a camera in my face.... Am I over reacting?

. , Richmond, VA, United States 74802 posts
status 7th Jun '13

No you're not. When your SO pushes a human being out of himself he can decide who is in the room. You're the one giving birth, your comfort is what matters.

justanothamotha Due January 20; 130 kids; Climax, Michigan 5120 posts
7th Jun '13

I didn't call anyone until after the baby was born & told Dh he better not either if he wanted to live. I didn't even want them on site, let alone in my room. For me, some things are things I have to do alone (or mostly alone, Dh is fine)...it's not a party, it a birth & as such, the person doing the birthing calls ALL the shots.

saageex3 1 child; New York 5777 posts
7th Jun '13

Nope. I had my mom in the room because when it comes to things like that, she is very level headed. She kept her distance and let SO take care of me until it was time to push and that's when she helped. She made sure SO payed attention and looked when DD came out because she knew he wouldn't unless she told him.




MIL is loud and obnoxious. She'll want to tape it and if SO doesn't want to look, she won't make sure he does and sees his kid be born. She always has something to say and I could see me kicking her in the Face from pissing me off. I do not want her in the room for my next child and I don't care at all. It's MY birth, MY choice. It's whatever makes you comfortable

mommy to C, B and F 19 kids; 1 angel baby; Escondido, California 1175 posts
7th Jun '13

Nope not at all im the same way no one before or during but after have at it but my MIL is cool she just waits till were out of the hospital lol

_The Rainmaker_ 2 kids; Houston, Texas 1062 posts
7th Jun '13

I was in the same situation!! Ugh it's so stressful! My MIL was in the room while I was labouring. I asked her to step out while the nurse checked me, I was fully dilated and told the RN to tell my hubby and MIL that only one person could be in the room with me due to limited space (which ofcourse was a lie) lol. She did come in right after I had her though :/.

Young Native Mama 2 kids; 2 angel babies; San Jacinto, California 129 posts
7th Jun '13

omg thank you ladies!! I was actually starting to think I was being disrespectful towards him and his family, but yet he made sure I let MY mother know he wanted to be the only one in there because he didn't like how my mom was acting when I delivered DD, he said she gave him an anxiety attack =/ so I told him thats fine as long as his mom isn't in there either! Then all of a sudden its disrespect

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
7th Jun '13

I have done it both ways. My first I had the whole f**king family there for labor and DH and both our moms for delivery. Then all my friends and family in the room right after she was born. It was so stressful and I believe a huge reason why we failed at breastfeeding as well. With my second we had no family it was just DH our daughter and our doula. No one came to the hospital except my FIL when he got into to town and that was to pick up daughter and watch her. It was so much better. Honestly I would have a nobody except grandparents at the hospital policy and not until the baby is born and you are in your post partum room. Especially if you plan on breastfeeding its crucial that it be established in the first hour after birth when baby is most alert.

Shelby Chappell Due November 29 (girl); 1 child; Alberta 1575 posts
7th Jun '13

You are not being disrespectful. You do what you need to do to be completely comfortable when you are in labor. I had my parents and my MIL in the room until the nurse said only 2 people besides my husband in the room. My parents left and then my MIL saw that I was starting to struggle and she was kind enough to leave. Next time around its only going to be my DH in the room.

Young Native Mama 2 kids; 2 angel babies; San Jacinto, California 129 posts
7th Jun '13
Quoting Jennybananna:" I have done it both ways. My first I had the whole f**king family there for labor and DH and both our ... [snip!] ... if you plan on breastfeeding its crucial that it be established in the first hour after birth when baby is most alert. "

I actually haven't thought about how it will effect breast feeding!! Your right!! Especially since I am going to strictly breast feed

Stfu Squirrel District of Columbia 8554 posts
7th Jun '13

No, you're not being disrespectful.



I only allowed dh in the delivery room with me. My LO was born in the middle of the night, so we decided not to call anyone until morning. My MIL barged in with a box of donuts around 5am because she just knew the baby had been born.



I was pissed. First, my parents were in from out of town and hadn't even been called yet, and second, I just squeezed an 8 lb person out of my uterus. I don't want a f**king donut.



This time it will be different. NOBODY gets in without my express permission. They're welcome to see the baby when I'm good and ready to show her to them.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
7th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Young Native Mama:</b>" I actually haven't thought about how it will effect breast feeding!! Your right!! Especially since I am going to strictly breast feed"</blockquote>




Maybe plan a meet the baby party for after short of complications you aren't in the hospital for very long and to many people around is over shelling for you and the baby. You need to sleep when baby sleeps and feel comfortable learning to nurse without tons of people around. It's not a matter of being disrespectful but doing what's best for you and your family.

Jennybananna 2 kids; Gilbert, AZ, United States 25079 posts
7th Jun '13

Also remember you can tell the hospital staff who's allowed in and they will kick people out for you

Ang ♥ 3 kids; Cicero, IN, United States 528 posts
7th Jun '13

Its all about your comfort. You don't want to be stressed out while in labor, and if them being there doesn't help, they should respect that. I didn't care much with my daughter who was in the room while I was in labor, but while delivering both kids it was my mom and SO only. With my son, I only allowed family to visit me the whole time I was in the hospital. It was so much nicer than having people in and out of my room all day. Both, while in labor and after baby was born.

Young Native Mama 2 kids; 2 angel babies; San Jacinto, California 129 posts
7th Jun '13
Quoting Stfu Squirrel:" No, you're not being disrespectful. I only allowed dh in the delivery room with me. My LO was born in ... [snip!] ... NOBODY gets in without my express permission. They're welcome to see the baby when I'm good and ready to show her to them."


this is exactly how I feel wish I could tell everyone that!Im way too quiet when it comes to his family though