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Scared Teen Mom Considering Adoption. Simply Sara Due January 11; Holly Pond, Alabama 96 posts
10th Jun '13

I'm 17, and its the summer before my senior year of High School My boyfriend and I are fairly serious, we've even discussed marriage, but I know that we are young and that anything can happen between now and the time we are ready for that. I've always dreamed of having a child, but I always wanted to finish school first, and give him or her everything she needed. Now that I think I may be pregnant.. I'm terrified. I think that what would be best is adoption.. but how hard is it really? What will I feel? What should I expect? Will my baby hate me? Or think I abandoned her? Will I hate myself? I don't wish to abandon my child.. but I know I don't have the resources to care for her, and its not fair to depend on my mother to be financially responsible? Also, what about negativity from people in my community, or school? Will they judge me for giving my baby away? Will everyone think I'm heartless?

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36500 posts
10th Jun '13

Adoption is very hard to go through. Have you thought about abortion? Have you thought about keeping the baby?



I suggest you need to take a test and find out if you are pregnant first.

K and N TTC since Nov 2012; 2 kids; Denver City, Texas 1890 posts
10th Jun '13

When it comes to such a huge life decision, my advise is to abandon all thoughts of what everyone else thinks. Members of your community are not the ones that will be supporting your child if you decide to parent.



Do what you can live with, and what will benefit the child that you are carrying the most.

K.J♥ Due November 4; 2 kids; Russellville, Kentucky 430 posts
10th Jun '13

I've never went through the process of adoption but i'm sure it a very tough and a very courageous act. But a part of being a mother sometimes is doing what is best for the child. If you think another family can give them a better life than you, and that you might not be stable enough to give them the life they deserve, than do whats best for the baby. And screw what anyone else thinks about it.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 17223 posts
status 10th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Simply Sara:</b>" I'm 17, and its the summer before my senior year of High School My boyfriend and I are fairly serious, ... [snip!] ... from people in my community, or school? Will they judge me for giving my baby away? Will everyone think I'm heartless?"</blockquote>




I could imagine it would be hard, but I believe they will have resources for you through the adoption agency. There are open adoptions so that you may still have a relationship with her so you know LO is okay and happy. If anyone think you are heartless for the decision to adopt, they are fools. That is the best blessing you can bestow on anybody and it takes a very selfless person to be able to do that. I am sure an agency will be able to answer all the questions you are having. I know one woman on here that has adopted out. I'm on my phone, but I am sure someone else might be able to link you to her profile so you can talk to her. Good luck with everything and stay strong!



Eta: it would be best to know before freaking out as well.,. If not pregnant, I would suggest doubling up on protection to prevent it until you are stable enough.

Bri + 1.5 <3 Due October 20 (girl); 1 child; Florida 4350 posts
10th Jun '13

If you choose adoption, abortion or to parent, someone is going to have an opinion. You have to do what is best for your baby. Don't let anyone make that decision for you.




When are you planning to take a test?

gorgeouschaos712 2 kids; Hickory, North Carolina 596 posts
10th Jun '13

In my opinion adoption is the best choice if you know you are not able to give them the best life. I am completely against abortion, but would never put someone down if that is what they chose. It's just not for me. You can always opt for an open adoption where you can still get updates, photos, and even visitation of you LO. And that way you personally can tell them that it's not that you didn't love them, but that you did. You were young and not ready and were aware of that so you found someone who was capable of taking care of them the way they needed to be. No matter what you chose, adoption, abortion, or to keep the baby; it's going to be hard. It always is, but you will make it through it.

Simply Sara Due January 11; Holly Pond, Alabama 96 posts
10th Jun '13

I Will be taking a test on the 7th, that way its been atleast 6 weeks, and less chance for an incorrect response on the test. I've been nauseous though, which I know just may be because I am worried, and I've missed periods, but I've never been exactly regular. So its very hard for me to know exactly. I Will not consider abortion.

Christan_89 2 kids; Grapevine, Texas 8043 posts
10th Jun '13
Quoting Simply Sara:" I Will be taking a test on the 7th, that way its been atleast 6 weeks, and less chance for an incorrect ... [snip!] ... missed periods, but I've never been exactly regular. So its very hard for me to know exactly. I Will not consider abortion


When did you have unprotected sex?

user banned Due September 18 (boy); 1 child; California 21617 posts
10th Jun '13

Don't let ANYONES opinions make your decision for you. You know what is best for you and your baby. I imagine giving a baby up for adoption but so is having a baby at 17. Don't worry about it until you know if you are pregnant or not.

Simply Sara Due January 11; Holly Pond, Alabama 96 posts
10th Jun '13

How can I learn more about open adoption, so far that seems like the best for me.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 17223 posts
status 10th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Simply Sara:</b>" I Will be taking a test on the 7th, that way its been atleast 6 weeks, and less chance for an incorrect ... [snip!] ... missed periods, but I've never been exactly regular. So its very hard for me to know exactly. I Will not consider abortion."</blockquote>




You should test now to get your mind at rest....

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36500 posts
10th Jun '13
Quoting Sierra-n-Brantley:" In my opinion adoption is the best choice if you know you are not able to give them the best life. I ... [snip!] ... what you chose, adoption, abortion, or to keep the baby; it's going to be hard. It always is, but you will make it through it."


Even if you plan to have an open adoption, the adoptive parents can close the openness. Nothing about the open part of adoption is legal binding.

misanthrope 2 kids; Ramona, California 15431 posts
10th Jun '13
Quoting Simply Sara:" How can I learn more about open adoption, so far that seems like the best for me."



Google adoption agencies in your state/area. They will have a lot of information for you.

Yurvette [♥] 2 kids; 1 angel baby; Hyrule Castle, LZ, San Marino 36500 posts
10th Jun '13
Quoting Simply Sara:" How can I learn more about open adoption, so far that seems like the best for me."


You can take a test to see if you are pregnant. You should weigh all of your options before coming to adoption.