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user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
10th Jun '13

You should get as much say as he does when it comes to important issues. Period. If you're content to let him have the final say on things just because he happens to have a p***s, you can't really complain too much when that final say isn't what you want.




You may not think you're setting yourself up to be a doormat, but you are.

homes cool 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 60938 posts
10th Jun '13
Quoting *KatteyBug*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting homes cool:</b>" 1st Peter.....3:1? something like that. I'm ... [snip!] ... I don't know how many times I've listened to that song :) it gives me so much hope when I hear it."


Keep doing what you're doing! God is faithful, my husband is walking proof of that. There wasn't a dry eye when he was baptized. The sunday school classes released early and everyone came to watch it. It was amazing.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 17198 posts
status 10th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting *KatteyBug*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting JessieLeeAnne:</b>" Do you need a father or a husband? I am ... [snip!] ... just wanting to know how to handle being married to someone who isn't a Christian, and what to do IF something were to come up."</blockquote>




Like what? Marriage is all about compromise. Being religious or not. It shouldn't affect the love you have for one another in the least.

*KatteyBug* Due November 18 (boy); 1 child; Madison, AL, United States 2221 posts
10th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting

homes cool 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 60938 posts
10th Jun '13

BTW, I didn't roll over and play dead either. You still have every right to stand up for yourself, speak your part, etc. I don't think that's what you're saying though at all. There's a balance, most definitely.

Bad Things 1 child; Blacksburg, SC, United States 17198 posts
status 10th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting *KatteyBug*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting

homes cool 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 60938 posts
10th Jun '13
Quoting *KatteyBug*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting
*KatteyBug* Due November 18 (boy); 1 child; Madison, AL, United States 2221 posts
10th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting homes cool:</b>" BTW, I didn't roll over and play dead either. You still have every right to stand up for yourself, speak ... [snip!] ... for yourself, speak your part, etc. I don't think that's what you're saying though at all. There's a balance, most definitely. "</blockquote>




Oh I do. I don't just let it go until I've said my piece and at least gotten my point across. But if he still doesn't agree and insists we do it his way or to drop it then I let it go.

Good Queen Bess 2 kids; Ontario 45928 posts
10th Jun '13

Do you believe that your husband is a good man? Do you think he would ever do something to intentionally put your or your children in danger?



I think sometimes people forget that you can be a good and moral person without being a Christian.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
10th Jun '13
Quoting JessieLeeAnne:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *KatteyBug*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting
homes cool 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 60938 posts
10th Jun '13
Quoting *KatteyBug*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting homes cool:</b>" BTW, I didn't roll over and play dead either. ... [snip!] ... and at least gotten my point across. But if he still doesn't agree and insists we do it his way or to drop it then I let it go."


One thing that helped us with stuff like this is our 1-10 rule. If we're discussing something and we disagree, we'll say 1-10? If I'm a 8 and he's a 9. We really discuss it. If he's a 7 and I'm a 3, we go his way...vice versa. It has really helped us avoid unnecessary confrontation & also helped make sure we discussed what we both felt passionate about.

*KatteyBug* Due November 18 (boy); 1 child; Madison, AL, United States 2221 posts
10th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting homes cool:</b>" One thing that helped us with stuff like this is our 1-10 rule. If we're discussing something and we ... [snip!] ... really helped us avoid unnecessary confrontation & also helped make sure we discussed what we both felt passionate about. "</blockquote>




I hadn't thought about that. Thank you. I appreciate your advice.

user banned 3 kids; Los Angeles, California 54034 posts
10th Jun '13
Quoting speaktruth2powr:" Do you believe that your husband is a good man? Do you think he would ever do something to intentionally ... [snip!] ... your children in danger? I think sometimes people forget that you can be a good and moral person without being a Christian."


This. OP, there's also the chance that he may find religion---but that it won't be your religion. There are zillions of religions. He may find himself connecting as a Hindu. And then what, you know? If he has "the final say" as you say, and he says to you, "we're Hindu now-final answer" What then?



I'm honestly not trying to give you a hard time here, just pointing out that this Head of the Household/Final Say thing is some pretty hot water.

homes cool 2 kids; 2 angel babies; Indiana 60938 posts
10th Jun '13
Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" This. OP, there's also the chance that he may find religion---but that it won't be your religion. There ... [snip!] ... to give you a hard time here, just pointing out that this Head of the Household/Final Say thing is some pretty hot water. "


If he told her to disobey God? That's a no-go.



This isn't about his morality. This is about a desire for him to know God, and lead her as the spiritual leader. I knew my husband was a good man before he was a christian, or else I wouldn't have married him. That isn't the issue. This isn't something you can understand unless A.) You're a christian. B.) You've been there. It just isn't.

*KatteyBug* Due November 18 (boy); 1 child; Madison, AL, United States 2221 posts
10th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:</b>" This. OP, there's also the chance that he may find religion---but that it won't be your religion. There ... [snip!] ... to give you a hard time here, just pointing out that this Head of the Household/Final Say thing is some pretty hot water. "</blockquote>




I see your point and I don't know what I would do, if he asked me to do that. But I do know he wouldn't do that. He wants me to have the relationship I have with God, he's just not sure he wants one.