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Moral and Legal rights Charlie's Lovely Mommy 1 child; Granville, Massachusetts 1794 posts
13th Jun '13

I just recently cut my son's father's family out of my life. BD and I were talking about it and he's trying to convince me to let his mom see DS because it's her right. So it got me thinking, what are the LEGAL rights of his family to see my DS, and what in your own opinion are their moral rights? Ask for more details if you'd like! I'm trying to make a very hard decision and I need unbiased opinions about it.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
13th Jun '13

I don't think they have legal rights. That might vary from state to state.



Morally? No clue what happened but if it's severe enough that you think cutting off ties with his father's side of the family is a good idea right now, then that's your choice as his mother.

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15001 posts
13th Jun '13

Legally, they have no rights. Grandparents right don't apply here because both Parents are in the Child's life.




But morally, it would take a very very good reason for me to cut out half of my Child's entire Family. You're going to need a reason that will stand up to telling your Child someday, or they may have some serious issues with it.

user banned 21 kids; North Dakota 3800 posts
13th Jun '13

Legally...it depends. If your BDs mother took you to court would he take her side or yours?

Charlie's Lovely Mommy 1 child; Granville, Massachusetts 1794 posts
13th Jun '13
Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" Legally, they have no rights. Grandparents right don't apply here because both Parents are in the Child's ... [snip!] ... You're going to need a reason that will stand up to telling your Child someday, or they may have some serious issues with it."


That's what I'm worried about...But they have lied and manipulated me for three years. They tell my son when he's over there that I'm a terrible mother and I don't love him. They lied to DCF to try and get my son taken from me. They are just all around terrible people. His grandmother has dropped him before because she was intoxicated. It's just a long terrible list. Basically they are poison and i needed them out of my life so that I could become a stronger and better person.

Charlie's Lovely Mommy 1 child; Granville, Massachusetts 1794 posts
13th Jun '13
Quoting *Mayhem*:" Legally...it depends. If your BDs mother took you to court would he take her side or yours?"


I don't know...mine I think.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
13th Jun '13

This is for MA:



If the parents of an unmarried minor child are divorced, married but living apart, under a temporary order or judgment of separate support, or if either or both parents are deceased, or if said unmarried minor child was born out of wedlock whose paternity has been adjudicated by a court of competent jurisdiction or whose father has signed an acknowledgement of paternity, and the parents do not reside together, the grandparents of such minor child may be granted reasonable visitation rights to the minor child during his minority by the probate and family court department of the trial court upon a written finding that such visitation rights would be in the best interest of the said minor child; provided, however, that such adjudication of paternity or acknowledgment of paternity shall not be required in order to proceed under this section where maternal grandparents are seeking such visitation rights. No such visitation rights shall be granted if said minor child has been adopted by a person other than a stepparent of such child and any visitation rights granted pursuant to this section prior to such adoption of the said minor child shall be terminated upon such adoption without any further action of the court.



So, if if he's legally signed something where paternity has been established, his mother has rights if you go to court. The only way she doesn't have rights is if: A- There's no legal paperwork out there where paternity has been established or B- You give a judge enough evidence to support the fact that visitation with your BD's mother would not be in your son's best interest.

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15001 posts
13th Jun '13
Quoting Charlie's Lovely Mommy:" That's what I'm worried about...But they have lied and manipulated me for three years. They tell my ... [snip!] ... terrible list. Basically they are poison and i needed them out of my life so that I could become a stronger and better person. "

Those are some pretty valid reasons. I wouldn't have a problem cutting off contact if I were in your shoes.

Charlie's Lovely Mommy 1 child; Granville, Massachusetts 1794 posts
13th Jun '13
Quoting Sly Saffy:" This is for MA: If the parents of an unmarried minor child are divorced, married but living apart, under ... [snip!] ... a judge enough evidence to support the fact that visitation with your BD's mother would not be in your son's best interest."


That scares the shit out of me. I do not want to leave DS alone with those people. I really don't. I know he will not grow up well surrounded by their influences.

user banned 21 kids; North Dakota 3800 posts
13th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Charlie's Lovely Mommy:</b>" I don't know...mine I think. "</blockquote>




Sly just posted the century code for you and yes she does have rights but if BD will back you in that they should not have visitation (which he's not right now) then generally the courts view it as not in the best interest of the child. Document everything. Start a notebook, write down what's happened so far and the dates of it happening. Save texts, voicemails (don't record her, that's illegal). You need to build a case that it's not in the best interest of your LO to have them in his life...and documentation will be the only thing that proves that. Do not expect to walk into a court, tell the judge "they suck", and expect to get anywhere.

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15001 posts
13th Jun '13
Quoting Charlie's Lovely Mommy:" That scares the shit out of me. I do not want to leave DS alone with those people. I really don't. I know he will not grow up well surrounded by their influences. "

Sit down with some paper, write down dates and things you know they've said, things you know they've done. If you know they called DCS for false reasons, get a copy of that report. Even things you write down yourself will hold up in Family Court. Do you have FB? Take screenshots of any nasty messages.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
13th Jun '13
Quoting Charlie's Lovely Mommy:" That scares the shit out of me. I do not want to leave DS alone with those people. I really don't. I know he will not grow up well surrounded by their influences. "


I would deny visitation. If she wants it that badly, she can take you to court over it.



ETA: And collect evidence of everything.

Charlie's Lovely Mommy 1 child; Granville, Massachusetts 1794 posts
13th Jun '13

That is an absolutely fantastic idea you guys have. Will do!! Thanks everyone.

Crystal 3 kids; Hephzibah, Georgia 15001 posts
13th Jun '13
Quoting *Mayhem*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Charlie's Lovely Mommy:</b>" I don't know...mine I think. "</blockquote> ... [snip!] ... the only thing that proves that. Do not expect to walk into a court, tell the judge "they suck", and expect to get anywhere."

Just a little fun fact, there's only 12 states where it's illegal to unknowingly record people anymore. It's called "One Party Consent" and requires only yourself to know. Sadly, Massachusetts is one of the states that requires all parties to consent.

user banned 21 kids; North Dakota 3800 posts
13th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Crystal Marie S.:</b>" Just a little fun fact, there's only 12 states where it's illegal to unknowingly record people anymore. ... [snip!] ... Consent" and requires only yourself to know. Sadly, Massachusetts is one of the states that requires all parties to consent."</blockquote>



I'm aware :) thanks