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Deadbeat dads... A&J. ♥ 1 child; Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 5613 posts
13th Jun '13

I am so sick of BD... He didn't pay child support for all of 2012, we got the amount modified in January and he has paid twice since then, a total of 175 dollars since January. He was in rehab, then in a halfway house. He has been in a sober living facility, has his own apartment he shares with a friend. Still has no job. I told him if he couldn't keep regular contact with my LO I didn't even want to bother anymore. It hurts my LO more than helps him. He barely knows who his dad is at this point. He told me he bought an iPhone so he could FaceTime with LO, this was back in February. He hasn't asked to FaceTime once but he uses it plenty for Facebook... Twitter... Whatever. He didn't say anything to me for 3.5 weeks.... Until yesterday.
He was in Palm Springs with his parents... Nice that he can go on a 2 week vacation but can't get a part time job to help support his child.



And he only texted me to tell me he will not be working for a while as he plans on going back to school in the fall and focusing on that...
Ummmm



He already has a masters degree! And I am going to be doing school full time and still working... Fucking dumb ass. All I'd like is some help from him so I can get a degree.



Don't quote... Will delete this soon anyway. Just needed to vent.

Dovahkiin 1 child; 1 angel baby; Kentucky 16776 posts
13th Jun '13

What a loser.

user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
13th Jun '13

Total jackass.

Ivana, VBA2C success! 3 kids; Aurora, Colorado 6834 posts
13th Jun '13

I am sorry you are going through this, but I never could fully understand the frustration with deadbeat dads. as a mom who has been dealing with custody battles and a controlling ex who wants to have control over everything regarding our child,(he starts drama over me getting her hair cut because he wants her to have it long!) I actually WISH he was a deadbeat dad so I could be left in peace with my daughter. DNA does not make a good parent.
If I were you, I would just cut him off and not make an effort if he isn't making an effort as well.

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
13th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:</b>" I am sorry you are going through this, but I never could fully understand the frustration with deadbeat ... [snip!] ... not make a good parent. If I were you, I would just cut him off and not make an effort if he isn't making an effort as well."</blockquote>



What an asshole thing to say :?

user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
13th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Bear and The Bird:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:</b>" I am sorry you are going through ... [snip!] ... cut him off and not make an effort if he isn't making an effort as well."</blockquote> What an asshole thing to say :?"</blockquote>



I get what she's saying. The father not giving a positive contribution and in the end thinking it would just be better to parent on her own. But when the father should do his part for his child and isn't, that's frustrating. Wishing your kid's father was a dead beat is moronic. She should have gone the sperm donor route if she didn't want the father's involvement.



Then again, her drama consists of haircut preferences. :P

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
14th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Abby Normal:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Bear and The Bird:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... the sperm donor route if she didn't want the father's involvement. Then again, her drama consists of haircut preferences. :P"</blockquote>



I don't care how annoying her kid's dad is, it's douchy to act like deadbeats are nbd and op is complaining about nothing

user banned 1 child; :), :), United States 5380 posts
14th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Bear and The Bird:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Abby Normal:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Bear ... [snip!] ... I don't care how annoying her kid's dad is, it's douchy to act like deadbeats are nbd and op is complaining about nothing"</blockquote>



Well yeah, she's clearly oblivious to the issues involved with deadbeats.

Ivana, VBA2C success! 3 kids; Aurora, Colorado 6834 posts
14th Jun '13
Quoting Abby Normal:" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Bear and The Bird:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ... [snip!] ... the sperm donor route if she didn't want the father's involvement. Then again, her drama consists of haircut preferences. :P"


I never said I didn't want his involvement, but when I have to hear FROM HIS LAWYER because I cut her hair without asking him first it is fucking ridiculous!! We have been back and forth in court for over FOUR years because he wants to control every little aspect of her life and wants to control what I can and can't do! He enrolled her in school without telling me or even putting my information down on the forms! He started taking her to a different doctor and got her different medical insurance that I had to pay half for without even telling me. Until you have to deal with this kind of crap you can't say my feelings are moronic or invalid! I am so tired of fighting with him and feeling like I can't make any decisions about my own child because of him! We have shared custody but because he has held on to his lawyer for so many years and I let my lawyer go after the initial parenting schedule was put in place he feels like he can control every little thing by lording his stupid lawyer over the situation! And my mother AND father were deadbeats, I was raised by grandparents, so no I am not oblivious to the issues involved with deadbeats!
And I never said OP was complaining about nothing, I said I am sorry she was going through this and yes it is tough being a single parents, but if the other parent does not want to be involved, just let it be and enjoy raising your child without having to fight with the other parents over every tiny damn thing that happens!

Vivialopod 2 kids; Vantaa, Finland 42788 posts
14th Jun '13
Quoting Ivana, expecting #3!:" I never said I didn't want his involvement, but when I have to hear FROM HIS LAWYER because I cut her ... [snip!] ... let it be and enjoy raising your child without having to fight with the other parents over every tiny damn thing that happens!"


no one cares. really. it's shitty having an asshole ex. it's shitty having a deadbeat dad. and it's really fucking shitty to come into a thread and dismiss the op's feelings because you think her situation is so much better than yours. gtfo with that shit. until you've had to explain to your crying 5 year old why she hasn't seen her daddy in almost a year and why he's in and out of rehab all the time and why he never shows up when we CAN get ahold of him and set a visitation time, YOU can't talk about how enviable it is to have an absentee father.