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Wanting a baby after an abortion simplisticmind 16 kids; California 12 posts
15th Jun '13

Has anyone felt like they wanted a baby have going through an abortion?



I know it's one of the things women deal with. Things I've read tend to refer to it as a 'replacement child.'



I feel like I want a baby now. I regret my decision but it doesn't feel like I want a baby to replace the one I aborted. I feel incomplete. It's like I am meant to be a mother. I feel like I'm meant to be a mother. My hormones have balanced out at this point and I have the IUD so am not trying for a child. But I just feel so incomplete without the pregnancy and knowing I gave up my chance to be a mother.



Has anyone else felt this way? If so, does it seem to ease after a while?

RonniG Due July 19; 1 child; Plentywood, Montana 2008 posts
15th Jun '13

It is completely 100% normal to feel this way.. I did.. It will get better with time.. Focus on the the reasons why you got the abortion in the first place. Did you want to finish school, find a better job, meet the perfect partner? Get yourself in a good place mentally and physically before conceiving again.

user banned 2 kids; Moses Lake, Washington 13508 posts
15th Jun '13

It may have been *a* chance to be a mother, but I don't think it was your only chance ever. There is no reason you can't go on to have the baby you deserve later on when you're in a better place in life. There is a reason you needed to abort that pregnancy, but you can still have a happy healthy baby another time.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
15th Jun '13
Quoting Jillynne:" It may have been *a* chance to be a mother, but I don't think it was your only chance ever. There is ... [snip!] ... place in life. There is a reason you needed to abort that pregnancy, but you can still have a happy healthy baby another time."


this is all a nice sentiment but since we don't know the future , there is no way to to honestly tell someone , ''you can still have a happy healthy baby another time.'' I am not trying to rain on anyones parade but there are no guarentees when it comes to procreation. OP cant even be sure that the pregnancy she terminate would of ended w/a healthy baby......OP just needs to reflect on why she made the decision to terminate this specific chance at motherhood and adjust her life and environment to accommodate a child if the chance arises again.
Several women I know that had abortions got pregnant w/in 6mo of the procedure. A few other's took between 1-3 to conceive a viable pregnancy once they attempted ttc. I don't personally know anyone that's had an abortion that waited longer than 2yrs after the procedure to ttc, so these feelings seem quite common in this instance

user banned 2 kids; Moses Lake, Washington 13508 posts
15th Jun '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 6 blessings so far....:</b>" this is all a nice sentiment but since we don't know the future , there is no way to to honestly tell ... [snip!] ... had an abortion that waited longer than 2yrs after the procedure to ttc, so these feelings seem quite common in this instance "</blockquote>




I'm not trying to predict the future or invalidate her feelings. Never once did I say her feelings *weren't* normal or that she shouldn't feel this way. I didn't say she would have kids later, only that she can. Sure, there's a chance that future might not be "happy healthy" but that is *always* the case with every woman in every pregnancy, Debbie Downer. Gosh, I bet pointing that out sure makes OP feel better. :roll: Come off.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8799 posts
15th Jun '13

true support is being honest w/someone.......I have seen to many women end up totally emotional scared from hearing things like....''oh, you can just have another later'' & believing that having another would take away the emotional turmoil either to find out it only softens it or makes it totally worse.

roflcopterrr Arkansas 478 posts
15th Jun '13

It is completely normal to want a baby after having an abortion, my best friend and myself were actually both the same way. The feeling does ease after a while, sometimes it takes even years.



I am now on my fourth pregnancy. Abortion (11/07), miscarriage (5/09), DS1 (4/10), and now DS2 (9/13). I was personally told that it would be a shock if I had been able to carry DS1 because I had so much scar tissue in my uterus. But I did, now he's a happy healthy three year old. So having a healthy baby after having an abortion is possible.
On the other hand, my best friend had hers done back in the Winter of '09, has had two serious boyfriends that she hasn't been careful with, and still has not been able to become pregnant again.



Every body is different. My only thought personally is to get yourself to a point where you are okay (even if just in the slightest) before conceiving again or trying to.