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Cast Your Vote:

    • I'd do and say the same thing -- Votes: 3
    • I'd NEVER give up on my child! -- Votes: 32
    • Other -- Votes: 10
FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26783 posts
19th Jun '13
Quoting Supafly★:" Yeah, I'm lying. :roll: My friend is a social worker and tells me the crazy shit teachers are mandated ... [snip!] ... teachers are mandated to report. The case usually never makes it further than the first court date, but it has happened. "


My daughter has a friend that had CPS contacted because of a lack of no coat... other things too, however. As a teacher I can understand that it's hard to figure out what you should report... one day without a jacket isnt so bad. Repeated, or with other circumstances? Yes, you should. For example, I taught a poetry class and in one journal response a girl mentioned some things that made me go "Oh shit... do I need to report this?" Instead, I talked to her and decided that it didn't need to be reported. Then I had an even harder time... I got very close to a boy that has a really fucked up life. He said something to me with this tormented look... I almost started crying in class. I had to talk to my cooperating teacher and see if he really was in danger. It's hard at times to think... is a kid confiding in me and he's safe, or is he trying to tell me something? It can be very hard.



Then as for Lily's friend, CPS was contacted numerous times because of what was going on with her family. We live in Colorado, it gets freaking cold here. She was sent to school in shorts and t-shirt with no jacket many many times. She never had money for lunch but the free and reduced lunch thing wasn't filled out. She was dirty, wasn't progressing in school (she still is very far behind educationally). I'm very close to the teachers in the school, we do a LOT of work for them in various programs. Her teacher came to us (they knew that Lily was practically this girls only friend) and asked if we could help. We aren't rich by any means, but we do well. She said that C (the little girl) doesn't wear undies a lot and of course we knew about the jacket. So we bought her a jacket, some underwear and clothes and gave more clothes from my niece that Lily had never worn... we intended to do it without them knowing. At a school party the grandmother came up and said "Thank you for the items for C." The school told who helped (we didnt mind that) and told us that the state wanted to take her away from her parents because of what they were doing but the grandparents adopted her instead. So now I watch her a lot, and the grandparents have to keep the little girl away from her mother. Her father is still a screw up but hes trying. But there were times he would pick her up from school with beer on his breath, so now when the grandparents cant pick up C she comes to our house and we are pretty much "on call" for if shes ever left at school the school calls us so we can get her. Her mother is a real piece of work... C doesnt really know her but her mom called her about 2 months ago and screamed at her on the phone saying "I HATE YOU! You should have been aborted! I hope you die!" so now C can't answer the phone at home, because the mother harasses her. CPS was seriously close to putting her in the system but the grandparents stepped up and we help them so she doesnt go into the system. I see cases like her... and yeah going without a jacket IS a big part of her well-being and is a part of a bigger puzzle piece. However, Lily left one day for school without a jacket (it actually was nice out that morning) and by afternoon it was snowing, and she didn't have a jacket at school. Should we have had CPS called on us? Heck no! So it comes down to common sense and seeing if there are other parts of the puzzle missing, ya know?



Speaking of teaching... I just had to text that kid I talked about that I taught that came from a shitty family... just to say hi since its been awhile. He asked if I was teaching anywhere and I said no... I really want to be in a school like the one I taught in. I said "Not teaching right now, you know I'm a complete nerd and want to teach the nerdy stuff, not what the state dictates me to teach." And he goes "Yeah, you are really good at the nerdy stuff!" Awww... that kid is awesome. I feel for him, his family is shit. But I had to learn as a teacher... you can't save them all but you can certainly try!

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting FroggysMommy:" My daughter has a friend that had CPS contacted because of a lack of no coat... other things too, however. ... [snip!] ... I feel for him, his family is shit. But I had to learn as a teacher... you can't save them all but you can certainly try!"


Aww, that breaks my heart. Teachers definitely have it harder nowadays because they have to decide what's report-worthy and what isn't, and I can't imagine making that choice unless of course, the child is obviously being abused or neglected, and that would make me so sad to see.



About the coat thing, my social worker friend said this mostly happens during the fall when the high is 70 degrees but by the time school is let out, it's colder. She said she got a case when it was a one-time offense and she had to visit the home and explain to the parents about fluctuating temperature and all that common sense stuff and that was it. I mean, not a big deal but that's a lot of hassle and paperwork, plus anxiety for a parent just because they had a lapse of judgement one day KWIM?

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting S & S *12weeks*:" The blocked out red is an acquaintance of mine, I'm in green. I was holding my tongue.....if this happened to you, would YOU decide the same thing she did!? I just find her decision disgusting!"


Idk what's going on but he's obviously adopted or put up for adoption for a reason. Either she didn't do something she was supposed to or she gave him away.
It's probably best she doesn't pop in and out of his life though...

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting Dovahkiin:" Giving up seeing your child that easily? Yeah, she probably didn't want him to begin with. "



This.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting Supafly★:" Easier said than done. Not everyone that loses custody of their kids is a horrible mother."



Most are.



When your kids are taken from DCS, they give a shit-ton of resources to help you fix whatever problem there is. It's on you to take advantage of those resources. If you don't, well, you really don't care that much.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting Mrs.Gray♥:" No one is going to take a child from their mother without a pretty damn good reason."


IDK about other states, but you have 15 months to get your life in order before they start the process of terminating your rights. That's plenty of time. And trust me from experience, you can still f**k up along the way and get your kids back. We're at the 14.5 month mark with my foster son. He's going back to his mom tomorrow, who has broken her safety plan 3 times in the last month. Needless to say, I'm not pleased with DCS at the moment.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting S & S *12weeks*:" She lost her kid to CPS so he went to a foster home and got adopted"



Yeah, it's her own fault then. I don't feel sorry for her. I know how they work, they give you plenty of chances and plenty of help.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting Dovahkiin:" And why did she lose custody? That matters. A LOT. "



Yep.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting Supafly★:" Loss of custody isn't the problem - I hear of parents losing custody because they sent their kid without ... [snip!] ... to get her kid back and failed. Which is still heartbreaking but from that information, sounds like the child is better off. "


People make up stuff. They don't just take your rights away. When they take your kids, they set a plan up. You have ABC to complete in so much time. They help you along the way whether it be housing, counseling, job help, whatever. It's on you to use those resources. But don't blame the system when you don't and then you lose your rights.
Idk what other states are, but they generally give you 15 months here. Pretty long time if you ask me.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting Nicola.:" I do not believe any child has been taken from their parents solely for not having a coat on in 70 degree weather. :roll:"


They're not.

Supafly★ 2 kids; Poland 14109 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting ~Ice Princess~:" Most are. When your kids are taken from DCS, they give a shit-ton of resources to help you fix whatever ... [snip!] ... problem there is. It's on you to take advantage of those resources. If you don't, well, you really don't care that much."


Oh, I agree with that. I was saying not every parent who initially loses custody is horrible. If she doesn't use the resources and chances that CPS gives her before her rights are terminated then yeah, the child is better off away from her.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting Supafly★:" Yeah, I'm lying. :roll: My friend is a social worker and tells me the crazy shit teachers are mandated ... [snip!] ... teachers are mandated to report. The case usually never makes it further than the first court date, but it has happened. "


Reporting and following up are one thing. They don't take them unless they do a visit and find something wrong in the home when they get there.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting S & S *12weeks*:" She was convicted of selling drugs multiple times and went to jail, baby's father is out of the picture so they had no choice really."



Not an excuse. There's plenty of choices and plenty of resources that are free to help her. The kid is better off.

......... nowhere, NW, United States 25972 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting eKnuckles:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" Yeah, I'm lying. :roll: My friend is ... [snip!] ... I know of women who had children taken away for unassisted births (without complications at that). So I totally believe you."


Taken away long enough for an investigation, yes.
Rights terminated and kid adopted out? Not that easy...

FroggysMommy 1 child; Golden, Colorado 26783 posts
20th Jun '13
Quoting Supafly★:" Aww, that breaks my heart. Teachers definitely have it harder nowadays because they have to decide ... [snip!] ... but that's a lot of hassle and paperwork, plus anxiety for a parent just because they had a lapse of judgement one day KWIM? "


Yeah, I have personally had the lapse of judgment where it's all "Ooooh it's shorts weather today!" and by lunchtime it's freaking snowing! It's Colorado, however. If you b***h about the weather, wait 5 minutes and it will change ;)