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Minion 3 kids; ., GA, United States 21802 posts
Jun 18th '13

I'm sorry you're going through all this. :(
I can kind if relate. My baby is 4, though.
Her bio dad is a piece of trash and I spent 4 years terrified that he would come after me for paternity and try to get visitation.
Well a couple of weeks ago he did. I don't know why he decided to now, but he did. He has admitted several times he cares nothing for her and I'm really afraid now. :(
SO has been around since DD was 3 weeks old and has been amazing. He is her dad. I don't care about DNA.



I'm going to fight him over this. We are filing abandonment and petition for SO to adopt.



Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
*hugs*

user banned 21 kids; North Dakota 3800 posts
Jun 18th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" I'm sorry you're going through all this. :( I can kind if relate. My baby is 4, though. Her bio dad ... [snip!] ... fight him over this. We are filing abandonment and petition for SO to adopt. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. *hugs*"</blockquote>



I'm so sorry Minion...I've watched your posts and thought I would be such a basket case by now. I hope everything turns out for you guys.

Snow Storybrooke, ME, United States 34017 posts
Jun 18th '13
Quoting Minion:" I'm sorry you're going through all this. :( I can kind if relate. My baby is 4, though. Her bio dad ... [snip!] ... fight him over this. We are filing abandonment and petition for SO to adopt. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. *hugs*"



So you should! My goodness. I'm so sorry and I hope you guys win.

Minion 3 kids; ., GA, United States 21802 posts
Jun 18th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Mayhem*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" I'm sorry you're going through all this. :( I ... [snip!] ... Minion...I've watched your posts and thought I would be such a basket case by now. I hope everything turns out for you guys."</blockquote>
Thank you. :)
I'm a mess on the inside, but I try to hold it together for the kids. I haven't told them anything yet.



But this isn't about me. :)



Are you worried that you won't make a connection to your baby because of the dad?
I worried about the same thing and actually didn't really bond with her until a few days after she was born.
Are you still wondering what to do?

Minion 3 kids; ., GA, United States 21802 posts
Jun 18th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Snotface:</b>" So you should! My goodness. I'm so sorry and I hope you guys win. "</blockquote>



Thanks. And thank you too, Supafly. :)

user banned 21 kids; North Dakota 3800 posts
Jun 18th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Mayhem*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" ... [snip!] ... same thing and actually didn't really bond with her until a few days after she was born. Are you still wondering what to do?"</blockquote>



Yeah I am. It sounds so stupid and I can't explain it but it doesn't feel like he's mine. Like, I keep expecting this surrogate couple to show up any day now. Even when I see him on the ultrasound...with the other kids I was like oh that's my baby...this time around I look at it like "oh thats cool" but it's not the same.



I *think* I've decided to see if I have a bond with him. If not I'll be contacting a social worker while I'm still in the hospital.

Minion 3 kids; ., GA, United States 21802 posts
Jun 18th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting *Mayhem*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Mayhem*:</b>" ... [snip!] ... I've decided to see if I have a bond with him. If not I'll be contacting a social worker while I'm still in the hospital."</blockquote>



I was the EXACT same way with DD. I felt like I was babysitting for a couple weeks after she was born. And I didn't get all emotional over the ultrasounds either.



Don't jump into a decision right away. Like I said it took me a couple of weeks to bond with DD. she is my world now.
But whatever you decide to do, good luck. :)



If you want to talk, you can always PM me or I can give you my FB.

user banned 21 kids; North Dakota 3800 posts
Jun 18th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting *Mayhem*:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Minion:</b>" ... [snip!] ... my world now. But whatever you decide to do, good luck. :) If you want to talk, you can always PM me or I can give you my FB."</blockquote>



Thanks I will! :)

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
Jun 18th '13

I have and I'd be willing to talk about it.



Just let me know what you want to know.

The ℰffin' D! 2 kids; New York 26316 posts
Jun 18th '13

I think you and I talked in a thread a while back about having similar feelings on this subject.
I just wanted to say that although my situation doesn't match yours fully, you aren't alone in the way that you feel.



If you need anything, or if you need someone to listen... feel free to message me. <3

user banned 21 kids; North Dakota 3800 posts
Jun 18th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting Sly Saffy:</b>" I have and I'd be willing to talk about it. Just let me know what you want to know."</blockquote>



Thanks for responding. I guess I want to know if it ever got better? Do you treat him/her differently than your other children? And why did you want the abortion.

user banned Lesbos, Greece 95211 posts
Jun 18th '13
Quoting *Mayhem*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Sly Saffy:</b>" I have and I'd be willing to talk about it. ... [snip!] ... to know if it ever got better? Do you treat him/her differently than your other children? And why did you want the abortion."


I wanted the abortion because my daughter was only 5 months old when I got pregnant and I was dealing with post partum depression and anxiety.



I have less patience for her but I don't necessarily treat her differently. She knows she's loved and doesn't think she's treated differently than her sisters but it's an active thought process. When she's at her worst, I just can't handle it. The first thought I always have is "Why didn't I get an abortion?" Do I love her? Absolutely. But it wasn't easy for me to love her.

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8816 posts
Jun 18th '13
Quoting *Mayhem*:" Thanks guys...and I agree with this...which is what I'm scared of. It wouldn't be fair to the baby whatsoever ... [snip!] ... got his carseat out of storage and ready...and I'm over here like "yep...if I pretend this isn't happening it won't happen". "

*off topic*
In the eyes of the law ,( if you give birth while married ) then your dh is named as the father (whether he is or not)

user banned 21 kids; North Dakota 3800 posts
Jun 18th '13

<blockquote><b>Quoting 6 blessings so far....:</b>" *off topic* In the eyes of the law ,( if you give birth while married ) then your dh is named as the father (whether he is or not)"</blockquote>



He is but...ND is also a UPA state in which bio dad can challenge presumed paternity. So, he would have to take me to court and he would have to convince a judge that it's in the child's best interest to break up a family unit (which 3 lawyers have told us is going to be near impossible)...idk the fear is still there :(

7 blessings so far.... Due February 3; 6 kids; Glen Burnie, Maryland 8816 posts
Jun 18th '13
Quoting *Mayhem*:" <blockquote><b>Quoting 6 blessings so far....:</b>" *off topic* In the eyes of the ... [snip!] ... to break up a family unit (which 3 lawyers have told us is going to be near impossible)...idk the fear is still there :("


does the loser even have the funds to attempt a court case?